me and my boyfriend are moving in in march, and he has a car, my job is at mowbray and his is at prospect, its his car, he is paying the loan off, and i said to him last night when we move in i would like to use the car as well, because then the loan will be coming out of "our" money..... and he is refusing to let me drive it? how can i make him understand that once we move in what ever we both earn. we pay things off with, therefore we will both be paying the loan off, and i should be able to use the car occasionally?
2007-01-15 11:18:51 · 8 answers · asked by summer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is worried that i will crash it, and then 'he' will ahve no car, but the chances of me crashing are the same as his, and he has a massive go at me..... it is unfair, it's like he is not even trying to understand
2007-01-15 11:29:31 · update #1
VICTOR H - Thanks for what you said it did make alot of sense, no i am not thinking about getting married.....but yes good point why should i help pay the cra off when it will be his when we break up or something and also just legally his....
thanks summer xx
2007-01-15 11:32:36 · update #2
I didn't know people still played house.
Looks like he wants the benfits of having you there (extra dough for the car note), but does not want to make the extra commitment.
Are ya'll thinking about marriage? You sound like the young ladies I see on Judge Judy, Joe, Mathis, Hatchet..........etc.
Also, do you realize that after the car is paid off and you are not married, then guess who legally owns 100% of the vehicle, well it ain't you! Hell, I have a car note, can I move in too?
2007-01-15 11:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by Victor H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not as 1 until marriage so don't think what is his is yours or what's yours is his. start saving to get your own car and you won't have to ask.if he don't want you to use the car every once in a while or the both of you can't come to some type of agreement, let him pay his own note and you don't pay s***. Get you a bucket until you can afford a car note.
2007-01-15 11:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by Lakenya P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two aught to sit down and have a conversation about money. don't jump to the car issue right away but make it clear what you thought your financial plan was going to be once you lived together and ask him what his idea of it is. money is one of the largest divorce issues in this country so you had better be communicating about it a lot! try to compromise with him on the way money will be handled in your home and only then can you procede with the car issue.
2007-01-15 11:25:37 · answer #3 · answered by kestrelk8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's like that then keep your money in separate accounts. You can then contribute to things he wants to share (like rent) and spend the rest on your own discretion. Definitely don't share his car payments if you don't get to use it!
I know that won't feel like a committed relationship, but I know lots of couples that don't merge bank accounts until much later in their relationship.
2007-01-15 11:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by Julian A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course! you have every right to use the car... if your boyfriend doesnt understand.... trying asking why he wont let you drive it then settle it from there.... if youre paying off the loan too then you have every right to use it! best of luck to you
2007-01-15 11:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you can do is say..ok..let me use the car..otherwise i will go out and buy my own car...so thats 2 loans you guys will have to pay off..
2007-01-15 11:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by mizzms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...that's a tough one. Now it would seem fair if you're also paying for the car for you to use it but, you can't force him to understand that. He has to understand that on his own. You can't "make" a guy undersatnd, he has to "want" to understand. =)
2007-01-15 11:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by lotsofluv007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the way it is his until u get married. if u can afford to help him pay for his payment u should be able to pay your own.
2007-01-15 11:24:43 · answer #8 · answered by aspen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋