How can I avoid breakup with my girlfriend and show her the answers and change she is asking for?

Question

Me and my girlfriend have been dating since June 2006 and a couple days ago she told me bad news. She said I was out of her 'rank' and i looked too young. She says that she knows that stuff shouldn't matter, but it takes a toll on her. We've broken up once before She is 14 months older than me (i'm almost 18). I asked if it was sexual inexperience, and she said no. We've done it all together and are happy on that aspect. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. I kept asking her, but she couldn't tell me. She says it's just how I say and do things. Most noticeably, she told me she's sort of uncomfortable knowing that she's my first. We were friend for about 6 months and started dating. She took my virginity. She tells me I rarely know that answers to problems such as this and she can't get over it, saying if I was an experienced boyfriend, i'd know what to do. She says we're on a 'break', haven't split yet, but how can i avoid it and show her i can change without losing her?

Thanks for the answers so far. It's just that we were such good friend before, we had this relationship started off friendship. I am willing to give up anything for her, she means all the world to me. I know I am inexperienced and I know she's my first. I know I can't change that. We talked and she even asked me if we were to break up would we still stay friends? I was weary at first, but I have come to say yes, we would stay friends. She'd be the one breaking up with me, so I know my feelings would still be around her. If that means putting me through torture each day to see and hang out with her, so be it. I am willing to do this. I am just taking this a little too hard. I told her change is possible with this and I am willing to change the way I go about things in this relationship. Though, I don't really know how because she can't tell me what I do wrong, I will continue to try.

Also, lately, we've have been hanging around each other a lot. I am taking care of my fathers house (have been for 3 weeks), so we see each other each and everyday. I give the world to her, buy her dinner every night, go anywhere she likes, try to get her the best of anything she desires. It's just hard, because it feels like it's my fault. I am heavily frustrated. She has some friends, but not ones she really 'hangs out with.' Either do I, I am very close to becoming a loner, and if I did decide to not be friends with her after, I certainly would be. She tells me she loves me, but I don't know if her love is love from our past friendship or if it's what I am feeling. I love her so dearly, I love everything about her... I really can't imagine letting go...

Another thing, we both get a long great, rarely fight over large things, always seem to have a good time. This relationship has been a really strong one and we have both told each other that we're both attached to each other. Could it be we had been seeing each other too often and she began to have less appreciation for my presence?

Answer 1

Be true to your self. You should be proud you were a virgin. she sound fishy. I'd get over her. You sound like a sweet guy and you are still suppossed to be inexperienced, so don't knock yourself for that.

Answer 2

Sorry hun, there's not much to do here. She's already made up her mind about this and you're just dragging it out. She can't get over the age difference and 14 months is NOT a big age diff. She's using it as an excuse really. She knew you were a virgin, etc before you two hooked up so that's not something she "can't" get over. I highly doubt in the 14 months she's been on the planet longer than you, she's that much more worldly. Bottom line, she wants out and she's grasping at straws/excuses to end it. Either drag it out and be hurt even more or tell her to hit the road and find someone who will love & support you no matter what. She's got you doubting yourself and thinking you're not good enough and NO ONE should ever make you feel like that. Send her packing, she'll come back soon enough and when she does tell her too little, too late.

Answer 3

Wow! I went through the same with my b/f. I used to feel that since he had not dated before and had not seen the good and the bad that he would not appreciate me. A lot of experience comes with dating. Maybe she feels she is taking a gamble and that you will leave her eventually to see what else is out there. I felt this way. Try to reassure her that you are not some guy who sleeps around and that you love her. I went back and forth with this for a long time but, ended up staying with my b/f because he showed me that I could trust him. If it does not work out there will be someone else...first loves are hard to try and get over and it may hurt for a while.

Answer 4

OK, no. don't sleep with her mom. Just watch carefully how she acts, and how she acts around guys her age. Personally, I think she's not worth it. You shouldn't have to change who you are for anyone. I think you should find a girl who likes you for you. Most girls I know would rather be a guys first than have him sleeping with every girl in school. It kinda makes them feels special. I say dump HER. That would throw her for a spin. Best of luck!

Answer 5

Sorry dude, it looks like you are gonna lose her.

Just tell her that it's not your fault that you aren't a very experienced BF but you will put all of what you have into the relationship. If she is still second guessing this, then dump her. You can do better than someone who won't like you for who you are.

Answer 6

If youre a good guy that treats her right then shes a fool!!!Theres not alot of "good" guys out there (believe me)I know if i snatched up a guy that could please me and was good hearted i would keep him!!!You dont have to change for anyone to make them like or want you.Let her leave, youll find someone that appreciates you for who you are.Shes probably just using that as an excuse.......Shes young, she doesnt want to settle down.You shouldnt have to sacrifice you being you just to make someone else happy.

Answer 7

Im very sorry but I can only say one thing People cannot change who they are.Move on you will meet somebody that is right for you so you don't have to change.You should not have to change for anybody always be yourself because in the end thats who you will be anyway,

Answer 8

she isnt even telling you why tho? maybe its cause you keep asking her or the point that you cant let go freaks her out. chill and let things take its course. and if it doesnt work there are alot of other girls in the world.

Answer 9

basically she is asking you 2 be someone your not.
if your ok with that, than act older than you are.
i won't be as easy as it sounds.

Answer 10

How about if you dont TRUST her, You should end it. Find someone you can trust.