How do you help someone who is too lost to help themselves? Serious answers only please.?

Question

A friend that I love like a sister, is stuck in a downward spiral that I don't know how to help her out of. I think she needs a DOCTOR- a PSYCHIATRIST, or something. But I don't even know where to begin looking. I love her. I do- but I'm out of words... I've tried everything i know, said everything I can, and she is still trapped in a lifestyle that will kill her. She almost OD'ed in October. And she has supposedly stopped doing drugs, but she is strippping and still induldging in destructive behavior. I can't turn my back on her completely. We don't hang out anymore, but she's my roommate and it's hard to look away when I see her come home in shambles, and tears. The strip club where she works is trashy, and so are the people. They suck her down deeper into that lifestyle. Please HELP ME HELP HER. We live in LA. Anyone know any good doctors?

Answer 1

what a great n true friend you are !! it's just too bad that she can't see this! all you can really do is to keep on trying, there is absolutely nothing you can do unless she wants you to, i know it must be tearing you to pieces n i'm so sorry for you. she has to first want the help before you can get it for her, just keep talking to her but don't let her sickness take you down with her, you sound like too nice a person for that, you can only help her so far then she has to help herself, praying for you both, take care and good luck!!

Answer 2

Have you tried asking her to go see a psychiatrist? Your family and her family needs to get together and help her get out of the cycle of this destructive lifestyle. Someone must know where she is at all times. At first she may not be happy with her being watched like a baby, but she needs the supervision so she can't do drugs, go out and strip, etc. You may want to consider checking her into a rehab clinic, and you should definately look up some in your area. In the end, when her life is better, she will thank you. You are a good friend for being concerned about her, and you should let her know that. The best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I don't know of any good doctors. But my advice to you is this. I know that you may love your friend but you cannot allow her to pull you into her downward spiral. MOVE OUT. You can still help her but establish boundaries of what she can do/say/ and get involved in in your life. You can set a good example for her by showing her how you believe an orderly, decent person would live their life.

Secondly. If you think that it would be too hard to confront your friend face to face over what you think is going on with her, then call her on the phone, send her an email, or leave a note for her. Never confront an angry person, if you think that they have violent tendencies. This may seem impersonal and cold, but advice is advice. If she is receptive and wants your advice then she will take it.
If you don't like the impersonal approach then, if you have any other people (more than two) who know and care about her and are in agreement with you about her crazy lifestyle then stage an intervention. Have more than one person approach her and tell her what she is doing wrong. Encourage her in the way that she should go. Mention her strengths and weaknesses.

And then, you and your friends can help her find a doctor. She needs to pick her own doctor and find who she is comfortable talking with. And if you think that it will be hard to find someone to talk to, go to the county/ or local hospital and ask around for psychiatric help.

You should also pray about it. And in the midst of psychiatric help, get her medical attention for her other problems.

Answer 4

If your friend can't even admit that she has a problem to herself - there is no helping her. Sometimes, the last resort is to tell them that they are on their own. You can search for psychiatrists - you can admit her to a psych ward - you can talk till you are blue in the face - you can threaten her with suicide if she doesn't changer her ways to make her feel guilty.

I am not saying to do any of those things. But if a person can not admit that they need to change their lifestyle - even one aspect of the lifestyle - then there is not much else you can do.

Be her friend. Maybe search for another job for her. Clean her bathroom and bedroom of any drugs and drug paraphernalia. Set some ground rules for living with you.

A doctor may not even work. Good luck, though.

Answer 5

This sounds very bloodless, however it's not your activity or position to discover her a physician. I consider if you'll be able to speak to her household approximately what's going on there may be the risk they is also ready to do some thing (or now not). There is some thing for your buddy that makes her inclined to be "sucked down deeper into that subculture". If she did not lean in that path no person might affect her into it. Some men and women get into this form of downward spiral. Others simply do not - it doesn't matter what is going on of their lives. You must both now not permit her disorders hassle you in any other case you must speak to her approximately discovering new roommates. Just due to the fact your buddy is residing a trashy subculture it does not always imply she demands a psychiatrist. I do not occur to approve of that subculture, but if all is claimed and performed, it's her trade. One of the bottom matters a individual can do is to head in the back of the again of anyone else and begin calling psychiatrists. You can speak on your buddy or you'll be able to transfer out. It isn't your name to begin watching for a physician for her. While her subculture will not be the healthiest, actually it's her name and really potentially now not a signal of some thing instead of free morals or susceptible man or woman (neither of which calls for a psychiatrist).

Answer 6

No one is ever too lost to help them selves just it's sometimes harder to help some than others try helping her find a new job to get her away from trashy places maybe talk to her parents or friends or anyone else who can help convince her she needs a doctor or something maybe even do some research as to how to help people in bad situations. There are ways but these things often take time and to gently nudge them back onto the right path, do things you used to do to show her the enjoyment in those old things maybe go to a therapist with her if she will allow you sometimes talking face to face about big issues with people makes it hard for them to react or such when people tackle me about things it puts me off and I try and avoid it until I feel more comfortable about the issue, try writing to her and leaving her a note she does need help getting her a new job to help get her away from that life style would be a good first step its hard find people who can help you maybe even talk to a therapist your self and ask for their suggestions
-Best of luck

Answer 7

Sometimes honey people don't respond to love.sometimes they need tuff love! It sounds to me at this point your friend only responds to people who treat her like crap.She has gotten in the habit of being around the worst of the worst and for some reason wants the abusive attention cause that's what she has gotten used to.Also she may feel like someone such as yourself is not capable of really understanding her world and therefore may not think you are strong enough to help her.
If I was you I would try harsher efforts on her.Its what she is used to and most likely the way you will get her attention.Tell her,"Look, You are going to rehab and seek help If I have to beat your A-- All the way there myself!! Tell her you are calling some friend or family member of hers for help and that you are all going to see to it she goes.And don't give her options to make excuses.There are clinics all over the U.S that don't require the person to agree to the treatment to give it to them.
She may be angry with you and call you nasty names but if she is put in and given long term treatment both for the drugs and mental treatment she can come out of this o-k and re learn to respect herself and you again for helping her through it.
If you truly don't want to turn your back, then don't! Just get tuff and find the right alternative that will force her to also help herself.Do some research to start with. go to a drug clinic and ask them questions on where the kind of clinic I speak of may be located in your area.also try internet. Good luck!

Answer 8

I feel for you. The strippers I have encountered are emotional messes and can suck you down with them. It is so sad. Call around for counselors in your phone book. Some charge on a sliding scale. She needs to want help. That is the key. Psychiatrists are extremely expensive.Good luck and do what you can. But if things destruct, know that you loved her and did your best.

Answer 9

You want to help her more than she wants to help herself. People are their worst enemies and she won't see herself until she is at her lowest and wants help for herself not a suggestion from you. I suggest you let her know you are there for her but cannot stand by while she wastes her life, then seek a new roomate and move out. You're enabling whether you believe it or not. She's know you'll be there to pick up the pieces if she needed you to, why should she stop. I suggest a 12-step for narcotics abusers to start.

Answer 10

She has to be the one to choose a different way...but you can be her example. That IS one way to help her. Also, to not enable her but to give her "tough love" sometimes is helping her. It is harder to stand by and not be able to do something and watch people go the wrong way. Praying for her is a HUGE thing you can do! I do not live in LA but I know that God is big enough to help her wherever she is. I will pray for her too. You are a great friend!