and I found 4 different messages over a 2 month period from a girl he used to work with. I know she is married and is a good friend of his family but he never mentioned the fact that they call each other (only from her work phone to his work cell phone) The messages are very sweet and he saves them for days. When i confronted him about it he says he told me that they call each other and its no big deal, we left it at that and havent talked since, only 1 day. Where should i go from here, i really feel that he lied on top of being sneeky. (please no smart *** answers i know i shouldnt be checking his voice mail in the first place)
2007-01-15 10:48:20 · 23 answers · asked by stargazer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, are most of his friends male or female? I don't think you have any reason to be worried based on those messages alone. I myself have more female friends. My gf knows this, and she accepts this, because she trusts me. Why are you checking hie messages?
As for advice, go to him and talk to him. Start the discussion. It was kinda sneeky of you to check his messages behind his back. Discussion is the key. You opened this can of worms, now you can help close it.
2007-01-15 10:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jimmy R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends a lot on the nature of these messages. Do you think he's cheating actively, or are they just friends? Do you think you'll change anything by calling these girls? If you don't think you'll be happy, then just get out. If you want to call the girls, just tell them that your boyfriend is involved and has a child. And tell them how many girls he seems to have on the side. They may not know any of that.
2016-05-24 18:12:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have found myself in similar situations and actually came on here to pose a similar question (only mine was why am i so jealous of...). i can't say if it is wrong or right to check your partners mail, email voicemail etc. i constantly find myself checking my partner of 6 years' msn messages (crazy i know) with a particular girl that is very flirty toward him. my answer, although it is not what you may be looking for, is to talk to him. if you have been together for 4 years something is right so it shouldn't be big deal to sit down and tell him that it just bothered you andmaybe let him explain himself. we are all attracted to other people in some way or another whether we are single or in a relationship, and although it sucks sometimes, our boyfriends make girl-friends and vise versa, but if it bothers you then the best thing to do is to let him know. i get jealous of this particular girl all the time, although i don't know her, i sometimes feel that u hate her. yet i know that even if my partner has feelings for her the real problem is that ia m jealous of her, which means she has something i wish i had i guess. i guess what i am trying to say is that your jeaousy may be the root of something deeper than what you think, and the best way to deal with it is to sit down and talk and figure things out. hopefully this works, don't dweal on it, talk about it okay, good luck :)
2007-01-15 11:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by tj 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the fact that you were looking tells me that there are other things you never mentioned that made you wonder about the relationship. Is he sneeky in other ways as well? you have to decide how much you trust him and if there are other reasons you don't, find someone else. if it is just that you are insecure, trust him until he gives you reason not to.
2007-01-15 10:57:30 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didnt check voicemail - it was more like email (I was looking for an address). I found a similar situation. Man I am still hurt by it. I still wonder. I wish I did have an answer, I can sympathize. I guess it all comes down to whether or not you think that something is or could happen. Wish I had more to offer.
2007-01-15 10:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop what you are doing right now!
You have no right to be checking his voice mails like that! How would you feel if he was snooping through yours?
It's his business. Maybe that ex coworker is a FRIEND.
He has every right to be angry with you, and I think you got off easy.
Shame on you! You have no right to accuse someone like that, or go snooping around in someone elses business.
It shows you have very little trust in him. And if I were him, I'd be VERY offended by what you have done.
2007-01-15 10:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kipper to the CUP! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you are right about that however if he has been true to you for so long i would not worry too much. especially if she is married then it would be really hard for this to go much farther however them caling ecah other on the cell phones for work is wrong because he is supposed to be working i hope this all works out between you two just keep an eye on it however try not to look in his mail he could get rather pissed about that
2007-01-15 10:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should not be checking other people's voice mails or emails.
But you did.
So, I guess you will have to play it by ear and look for signs of cheating OR maybe she is just a friend.
Curiousity killed the cat!
2007-01-15 10:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like the bottom line is, if he didn't have anything to hide (the fact he was talking to her ALOT I might add)Why didn't he just tell you about it ? I don't have a problem with you checking his messages, because you must've felt like something wasn't right to begin with.
2007-01-15 10:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by jeny_paq 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOmetimes it's easier to lie to a person who is nosy so they won't know the truth. But I think he making out with her and he's not telling you and acting dumb when you ask about it. AND I would get rid of him because once he gets away with it he is going to keep on doing it. SO good luck cause you will need it.
2007-01-15 10:57:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋