My friend wanted to have a dinner party at my place for some guest, which my roommate and I agreed was alright. Any how, she bought all the groceries to make the dinner. Note, my roommate is the one who ended up cooking everything. Any how, the friend also didn't offer to clean up afterwards because she ended up going out afterwards. The icing on the cake, she calls the next day to ask to come over to get the leftovers? In my opinion, I think that is so tacky and innappropriate. Am I over-reacting? I want to say something, but I don't know the appropriate etiquette way to go about the situation. Any suggestions? I'm more baffled that she would call the next day for leftovers.
2007-01-15 10:46:15 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Note, I didn't end up giving her any of the left-overs because I simply wasn't home when she called. I could care less about the food, its just the principle of the whole thing.
2007-01-15 10:55:42 · update #1
Well, it was poor manners on her part. She asked you to have dinner at your place for a friend of hers. While she bought the food, she didn't prepare it, nor did she help clean up afterward. And now she wants left overs. You and your roommate should have eaten the left overs since you cooked and cleaned.
Was it tacky? Absolutely. are you over reacting? not at all. What she did was rude and thoughless. I don't know how much her friendship means to you, but I get the impression that you are a better friend than she is.
Let it go and don't lose any sleep over it. It was a lesson for you. And please, no more dinners at your house... unless i am invited too. (I do dishes) :)
2007-01-15 10:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by David L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This was very tacky and she should be ashamed that she used you this way. However, I think the best thing would be to not say anything about it. BUT...don't ever agree again to something like this. And if she is the one asking, you can simply say it turned out to be too much work with too little help and you didn't even get to eat the leftovers.
2007-01-15 10:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes it was tacky. To many today do this, and in no way was it right. Had a situation similar a few years back. A few friends got to gather to have a Holiday fund raiser. One of the friends did not help clean up after wards. What happened what would have been a awesome yearly fund raiser ENDED. The friendship was strained but continued. Yes, the one friend had quite a talk with her.
Thus, what to do... Have a TALK with your friend. Try not to have it end in a fight (will not be easy). Do not leave out what is needed to say. Be tack full, weigh your words.
Just do not have a part of any type with her again at her place. Instead you can help with on at her place.
You do not need to end this friendship over this, you both can work it out. Just remember what brought you both to being friends. Friendships are to be treasured.
God bless both of you.
2007-01-15 11:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by nmd_elkie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not overreacting. This person sound stupid, selfish and has no manners. If she wants the leftovers, give them to her. You can be done with it after that. Maybe she's stupid AND broke. The best thing to do is just learn from the situation; don't let her use your place for anymore dinner parties or anything else. If she asks to do it again, tell her why you won't.
2007-01-15 10:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by onlyupfrmhere 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your friend sounds completely clueless. i don't even know if "tacky" properly describes this horrible misjudgement.
you have every right to be upset. you did your friend a favor by allowing her to use your place. you were not hosting, the party was not your idea and they were not your guests. this was your friend's party and she should've had the sense to follow through and do all of her duties as host. all she did was buy groceries and leave you a mess, and it wasn't even your party.
i would've told her you were so starved and exhausted from cleaning up after all of her fun that you guys ate all the leftovers
2007-01-15 15:02:22 · answer #5 · answered by ~ Mi$fitPrin¢ess ~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no ur not over-reacting, that was just plain rude. I am the kinda person who would just be upfront and come right out and tell her. No need to be rude or angry with her but be like:
look you asked to use our apt to make dinner for your friend and we agreed, but then (my roomate) ended up cooking and we both ended up cleaning up the mess for your dinner, that was NOT what you asked and not what i agreed to, and furthermore I can't belive you called up to get leftovers the next day but didnt even offer to clean up from your dinner the nite before. i am sorry but i think it was unfair....
good luck
2007-01-15 14:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by JoAnne H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that you are overreacting. Your friend used you and your roommate. That was rude and insensitive. Very, very TACKY!!!!!! And then she had the nerve to call for leftovers!!!!! After she would have gotten the leftovers, that would have been the end of our friendship. POINT BLANK!!!!!
2007-01-15 12:19:07 · answer #7 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tacky for sure. I would say that the leftovers were payment for having to clean up the mess. That is awful. I would never allow her to have a dinner at your house again.
2007-01-15 10:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by goldensparkler61 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that not offering to clean up is a big deal, because she was the guest, although it would have been nice. Asking for the leftovers, though, does seem unusual. She is your friend, though. Maybe she's poor and needs help?
2007-01-15 11:04:17 · answer #9 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your friend is an ungrateful jerk. The very idea of having a dinner party at someone else's place is outrageous in the first place. You never should have agreed. Just consider her a total freeloader and mooch. End the friendship.
2007-01-15 10:55:54 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋