stage fright, or life fright?

Question

I'm not the person you think I am. If you know me, you think I'm smart and like reading, and that's about it. Everyone thinks I can't do anything but homework. I'm shy, so I never know how to break out of my shell and talk to people and tell them about myself etc. I'm disgusted with myself. I let myself get embarrassed easily, and it stops me from doing everything I want to do. I love music and acting and I really want to try out for our school musical, but I'm afraid I'll mess up and sound like a dork at the auditions. I know I can sing. I just know that I'll freeze up and freik out. Plus, my school is one of those places where popular kids decide who everyone is and if you know what's good for you, you don't mess with that. Everyone in my school thinks I'm one person, and I'm not. I don't know how to make people see who I am or change their Ideas of me, or how to try out for the musical without humiliating myself ormessing up the way things are. Any advice?

oh yeah, I'm 13 and a fresman in high school

Answer 1

Hey! By your description, you seem a lot like me. I'm shy, I read all the time, and I "never know how to break out of my shell" too. I guess you could call me something of a "nerd," as much as my friends try to deny it ^__^ I also have your problem of letting my embarrassment get in the way of doing things I want to do. Here's what I have to say:

Do you care what the "popular" people think? If you know you can sing, then that's all that matters, and you should try it. But that's exactly the problem, I know. It's extremely difficult to force yourself to forget your shyness. Just try it once, and see how it feels. Be a little more outgoing with your friends or classmates, and see how they react. I'm sure you're comfortable with your friends, right? So gradually, I'm sure you'll get more used to speaking in front of other people, and being more like yourself.

Once you try out, and if you can convince yourself that you are great and you can do a good job, then people's opinions WILL change about you. That's not something you can just change, it'll come eventually. Also, if you're worried about freezing and messing up, maybe you could get a singing tutor? This will help improve your singing, and I'm sure they have all kinds of great tricks to improve your stage fright. Like, I can hardly to anything like debates or presentations at my high school, because I get so freaked out. But I'm working on it, and I'm improving. I know you will to. So don't worry about what other people think. You'll regret it if you stay someone that you're not! Best of luck to you and I hope you make it into your school musical!! You're young, so even if you make mistakes this time, there's always the next musical, so don't get discouraged!

~ from a fellow shy person ^__^

Answer 2

Wow! You really sound like you've got it together for a 13 year old. Way to go. I teach kids your age how to sing and play instruments, so here's my advice.

First off, people will see what you show them. If you show a shy, angry (which is how it looks if you're embarassed all the time) person, people who are more confident and easygoing (popular?)are going to step aside and let themselves out of your way.

You know what I heard all the time growing up?

'Now that I know you, you're really nice, but before i just thought you were stuck up.'

If they only knew how shy i was!! I've learned now, from growing up and from watching the kids I work with - Most all the kids are pretty nice. They all get along once they find something in common, as long as they use polite manners while they are getting to know eachother. So, try this.

Go up to someone in choir or drama and ask them straight out - " hey - I was kinda wondering about the choir/drama class here at school. Could you guys tell me about it? How's the teacher( performance schedule, other kids in class). Is it a class where I can get learn to sing better, or are people pretty hard core? What kinds of songs do you sing?

That will help you get to know people. It will also let others know that you are interested in what they think. (Big step in making new friends) Everybody likes people who are polite, and have similar interests. Also, everyone likes to talk about what they enjoy, so ask a short question and then listen a lot!

You'll do great. Just take a deep breath and remember everybody has felt like they aren't understood at some point. Some kids just learned how to be more social sooner than others.

Don't build up the musical to be some movie like drama where everyone suddenly sees your true self after 30 seconds of singing. Go out for the audition, but I think you'd feel better about your 'life fright' if you joined a choir or band or acting club or something. (You can join any of these at this time of year because the semester just changed, right?) By joining a group and working hard together, people will leaarn who you are. You'll probably learn a lot about yourself, too!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Go for it! That's the only way that you'll end your shyness. And so what if you try out and don't get the part? At least you won't regret not doing it. And you'll know that it was a popularity contest anyway. But don't think negatively...you never know. Plus, if you're only a freshman, you have 3 years ahead of you to break out of your shell.

And remember, from a shy girl who's now an adult, all those people you go to school with will grow up, too. And lots of them won't be cool or attractive anymore. Keep on being yourself and believing in yourself. High school is a long four years...but it's only four years. What happens after that? Life! Knock 'em dead!

Answer 4

i've had the same "challenges", and so have many others. here's what worked for me: (btw, the more "sensitive" you are, the more typical it is to have to deal with this. and, as you have so wisely intuited, the "problem" carries over into all areas of your life. so, to deal with it now will save you a lot of "aggravation") regular exercise and a lot of energy work: meditation, yoga, chi kung, etc. no kidding! all together they will calm down your sympathetic nervous system, which in turn will make you much calmer and braver under ALL circumstances. but, you must be serious and diligent about it. some sites that may be of help: http://www.sahajayoga.com http://www.worldofsouls.com and the book *the complete idiot's guide to toltec wisdom*, will provide you with some interesting info. also my "information" , is that you may well be a "crystal child". if so, world of souls, above will help to explain what that means, and how fortunate you are. best of luck, and never give up! ;-)

Answer 5

AH!!! welcome to my life! that is EXACTLY what i was thinking just this year. i'm a sophomore in highschool and was contemplating the same exact thing. I say go for it. I did, and it wasn't NEARLY as bad as i thought it would be. It makes it easier if you try out with a friend. You'll never know what you're capable of until you try. Just pick a song that really sucks you in. You won't humiliate yourself. Just go on in there and strut your stuff. Trying out was actually fun. And by the way, don't try out for anyone else or to try and change peoples' opinions of you. You've got to try out for your own satisfaction. GO FOR IT!!! I'm rooting for you, buddy.

(ps, if this doesn't sound like it's coming from normally shy person, it's caz i'm thrilled to have found someone that has the same thought track on auditions as me. totally elated...)

Answer 6

those people are just like you, they just have different attitudes. who cares what they think anyways..i know that it can be really intimidating, but if you think about it, they are normal people just like you so dont let the "popular kids" decide who you are. its not fair to you or the people that want to know you. the musical, it sounds like you have a lot of confidence in yourself, so just take a deep breath and sing. nobody can judge you if you tried your best. and if you are still embarrassed about doing auditions, try to work something out that will let one of the auditioners let you sing by yourself with just one person listening, its a lot easier. sometimes, you just have to say "this is who i am and im not afraid to show it."

Answer 7

Just do it! Stop trying to please other people to the point that it hinders you from being you. You're always going to have some fear. But it's up to you whether you want to let it dictate what choices you make. Advice from someone on the other side of high school: the "popluar" ones that tell everyone who they are pretty much fade away after high school. But don't do it to prove to others who you really are. Do it because YOU want to.