Is it normal to lose contact with friends when in a relationship?

Question

I haven't really been in a very serious relationship before. But I've seen some of my friends sort of fall out of loop when they get into relationships. I used to think that they were too boy whipped to realize the importance of their friends, but this time the situation presents itself in my life. Am I being a jerk friend by not going out clubbing/partying with my girls on the weekends? I see my bf ONLY on the weekends, so it's excusable if I dont go right? Why do I feel so guilty? I see them at least once a week to meet for dinner and conversation, that should suffice right? And if by chance we do go out and drink, I sometimes find myself feeling guilty, but why is this? My bf supports me when I go out, but somehow deep down inside, I have this gut feeling that he's not too happy for me to go out, and that I rather him go with me. (but his work hours doesnt permit it)
Should I feel guilty about ditching my friends/boyfriend? Or is this how relationships are, abotu compromising.

Regarding having to hang out with the bf & the friends at the same time, it's difficult because one of my friends (also known as my room mate) and my bf DO NOT get along, They've disliked each other YEARS ago, and still just cannot/willnot socialize with each other. Call it pride, stubborness, whatever it is, it's made me think about moving out so she can have her space (in her own home), and me and my bf wont feel "weird". I'd be doing my friendship with her a favor...right?
In a lot of ways, I agree with my bf, he explains to me, that he comes and sees ME on the weekend, not to go hang out with all my friends, especially if it's not a special occassion (bday holiday, etc) I know its cuz I love him, that's why I justify his behavior, but what he's telling me, can be logical right?

Answer 1

these a little confusing but i think it is kind of true that u seem hang out with friends lesser than u have a bf
i feel same way before, i learn to balanced a little
sometime it is hard so the relationship between bf broke

i think it is pretty normal that happen

Answer 2

You're doing just fine. Relationships are about compromising. It's obvious that you love your friends and your boyfriend very much. The fact that you feel somewhat guilty is just proof that you really care and want to spend time with your friends and b/f. Try to split the time between them 50/50, unless there's a special occassion, like a birthday or anniversary. You're obviusly a great friend and a great girlfriend, you'll be fine :)

Answer 3

I believe that relationships are about compromise, with that being said you have to compromise with all of them because you are in a relationship wit you man and your girls. Your not being a jerk because you can't go out with you friends sometimes but at the same time you should try to make time with them. If you feel so guilty about it express yourself to your man and your girls, after all, relationships are about communication too

Answer 4

When in a SERIOUS relationship it is understandable to spend most your time with your significant other. As you state you meet your girls at least once a week for dinner, etc. Alot of women dont even do that. I have a friend........WHENEVER she
gets a boyfriend.......I get dumped....no return phone calls, no emails, NOTHIN'.......then they break up & she expects me to hang all the time again.

On the other hand....you should NOT feel guilty about hanging out with your friends........if your boyfriend has issues....they are his issues......as long as you aren't giving him a reason to be jealous.....example being a big flirt, talking about the guys you or friends meet when you are out, etc.

Why dont you invite your friends to hang out with you and
your boyfriend...........groups are always alot of fun. That way
you get the best of both worlds.

Good luck.

Answer 5

your friends have to realize that you have another major person in your life now and that they must share your time now. however, that doesn't mean that you desert them all together. if the only time you have to see your man is on the weekends, then see him on the weekends and your friends during the week. it would probably be a good idea to go out with the girls on the weekend once a month. that way it also gives him time to hang out with his friends.

Answer 6

Your friends are your friends and will be forever, but you have a new friend right now, your boyfriend and he requires more of your time right now. So do what you have to do with your New friend and have lunch with "The Girls" during the week an let them know what your doing.
If they are real friends, they'll understand, and if they don't understand, your better off without them.

Answer 7

It's u[ to u. There is definately nothing wrong with spending time with your boyfriend over your friends. It is the only time you can see him and a true friend would want you to be happy wether it's with them or not. A way to rid of this problem is to spend time with your friends and your boyfriend. That way no complaints. No guilt.

Answer 8

Compromise and balance are the skills needed. Think creatively, reassure your buddies that you are there for them, while still seeking to spend time with the BF.

Answer 9

It sounds to me like your keepin a good balance. Dont feel guilty there is only one of you to go around.

Answer 10

balance it

even if its total magic with your boyfriend, don't lose your other friends

if or when it doesn't work out, you might need em

maybe see em every two weeks if you are totally happy already