My ex husband wants me to explain to our 7 yr old that his granny which she is extremely close to has lung cancer. My daughters papa just died 6 months ago how do I tell her that her nana has lung cancer and the prognosis isnt good?
2007-01-15 09:31:28 · 12 answers · asked by momof3 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Straight an direct, but with kindness in your tone. This is the most psychologically healthy way. Kids are amazing and while we don't want to place al the burdens of the world on them at once, understanding about death and dying is important and she is old enough to have a reasonable understanding of what is about to happen Be prepared to answer any questions she may have. These sites may help you.
http://lungcancercap.org/kids.htm
http://www.mariecurie.org.uk/NR/rdonlyres/C1EBC846-403E-4113-A932-25A128999063/0/talking_to_children.pdf
http://endoflifecare.tripod.com/kidsyoungadults/id34.html
If you don't have adobe acrobat reader on your computer, you may need to install it for link 2 only, but most computers have it.
Kids do best when adults are direct and honest with them.
Not an easy task, but one you will handle very well, I'm sure.
God Bless!
2007-01-15 09:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by rumbler_12 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you can do one of two things, you can be hones with your daughters, even though they are young and impressionable, this is a part of life. They will learn from their experiences, sad and happy, good and bad. You may want to let them know Nana is very sick, I would not say anything about the prognosis. Just let them know, Nana needs us now more than ever to take care of her with big hugs and love. Or, you can not say anything, and if unfortunately she passes, you will have to explain death again. Either way, not easy, but at 7, I think she/he is old enough to grasp what sickness is, and also if that close to Nana, will want to offer big hugs and love. I wouldn't want to scare my 7 year old, so maybe the less info, or the more generic the explanation, the better. Good Luck and I am so sorry about your misfortune.
2007-01-17 07:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation to deal with, but you do need to tell her. Do not lie to her, just gently tell her the truth and answer her questions as best you can. Don't keep her from her nana and if her nana dies, let her participate in the funeral. Also be sure to let her teacher and/or the school counselor know what's going on.
Visit the Centering Corporation website (www.centering.org) to get some info on resource materials that may be helpful to you in explaining serious illness to children and to help you support her while she worrying about her nana and through her grief if her nana dies. If there is a grief support group for children and families where you live it would be beneficial for her to get involved in some of their activities since she has already suffered one loss. Those groups help kids understand death and remember their loved ones in age approprate ways and it also helps them to see that they aren't the only kids who have experienced a loss.
Good luck.
2007-01-15 09:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would not use the "Cancer" word as it is not an easy concept for a seven year old to understand. I would tell her that her Nana has gotten sick and that she might get sicker. If you are religious, you might want to talk about your faith and what/why you believe in reference to death.
Also, if she is to see Nana, you might want to warn her about any changes that have happened (coughing, breathing masks, etc.) These changes might scare your daughter.....let her feel any way she needs to. She may not want to get to close to her Nana at first. Encourage her, but accept her decision if she feels unable to sit close or even go in the same room. After visits, she might feel sad and need to cry. Talk with her and let her express how she feels and what she has been thinking...... and do not let her scare herself!!!
Also, I would highly recommend that you talk with your daughters teacher(s) and school counselor about what is going on. This will give your daughter more adults that she can talk things through with if she is having a bad day dealing with all this.
You might want to encourage your daughter to write to her Nana about how much she loves her.....and have Nana do the same. This way your daughter will have something tangible that your daughter can touch to remind her how much she was loved after she passes away. You might want to get pictures of the two of them together and make a photo album to give to your daughter after she passes. You could also include cards and letters.
Good luck and prayers for you and your families!
2007-01-15 09:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mum to 3 cute kids 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you do need to tell her that her nana is sick. keeping it from her will cause resentment and hurt, and confusion.
explain to her gently that nana is sick, and that she needs a lot of help and support from your daughter. explain that sometimes people who are sick dont get better - and that nana may end up ok, but that she may not as well.
Let her know that there is nothing she can do expect wait (and i guess pray if you are religious), but that she needs to be prepared, because papa could be calling her - wanting her with him so that he is not so lonely where he is.
2007-01-15 09:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by Minerva 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
rumbler has it right and looks like gave you some links. I am a mom of 6 and when we have had to do this, and we have, the kids understood and adjusted well after the grieving and the grieving is psychologially needed.
Kids do and can understand these things.
Be candid kind and honest.
2007-01-17 09:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by winfielder74 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that Nana is very sick and the doctors are worried about her. Answer her questions in a way that she can understand at age 7. There is no need to go into alot of detail.
2007-01-15 09:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Didnt like it. People think a kid watching his sister have sex is funny? I dont care how funny you try and make it, the basic story line is still sick.
2016-05-24 08:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one. you may want to consult with a child psychologist about the best way to explain it and help her cope. if she has trouble coping they can also help her by suggesting a therapist and referring you to one. kids take things in and things bother them just as much if not more than it does adults because they can't completely comprehend or understand why. it's a tough subject and can be very touchy
2007-01-15 09:46:32 · answer #9 · answered by butter_cream1981 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
just tell her straight out.... tell her that nana is sick... and she might not get better.... kids need to learn about loss... its a natural part of life...
2007-01-15 09:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by Loathing 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋