Why do I keep staying with a person with whom I know it's not going to work out?

Question

we've been together for 3 years but we fight constantly. we're very different.... different race, he's athiest and I'm catholic, I want kids and he doesn't, I have morals and his are lax. Why can't i just leave him? everytime i try, it feels like i can't breathe.

Answer 1

Change is hard even when you know it's necessary. It's the same reason women stay with abusive partners, they are afraid of the unknowns that change will bring.

Your a big girl and you need to reach deep down inside yourself for the courage to break away. Your catholic faith has taught you to look beyond your own strength and trust in the power of God.

Set your date, find another place to go and go with your life.

After you're free here's another suggestion- think about the kind of man that you would want to spend the rest of your life with, have children with, go to church with, etc., and believe God for him to cross your path. We often miss the target in life because we have not established what the target is! Peace!

Answer 2

You can't leave because you really love the guy or you have issues with security (being alone). He is an atheist and you are a Catholic so you are right, if something doesn't change it's not going to work so why keep wasting you time? You've invested 3 years but you're headed to where there will be no return on your investment. Cut your losses and get to stepping.

Answer 3

Your scared of what will happen without him. It took me a long time to leave a guy i was with for three years even though we didnt get along but it was only because felt comfortable with him. When i finally left , it was hard, but when I got over him I was happier than I had ever been. I learned how to make myself happy and not to depend on someone else. Hope that makes sense and good luck hon.

Answer 4

Fear of being alone? Fear of having to date again? Fear of believing you won't meet anybody else? Also, it sounds like you believe you don't deserve to have somebody who has the same values as you. It's really important to work that out and get straight on what you want in a partner, otherwise you will be doomed to repeating this over and over with different guys - different guy, same set of b.s. values that don't match yours.

Answer 5

You obviously feel that way because you love him and have been with him for 3 yrs. What you have to tell yourself is that as long as you stay with him you wont get what you want. The right man could get passed up if your busy with the wrong one.

Answer 6

baby girl, i want to really think about it. can you really see yourself, 5 years, 10 years or even 20 years with him? constantly fighting. is that what you want. think of what makes you happy. of course, the first step is the most difficult but you need to make a change. change for something better. take this first step baby girl. it's for your own good.

Answer 7

I think everyone gets into that comfort zone. You already know in your mind that the relationship is not going to work. So find someone else and move on.

Answer 8

because youve been together for a long time and its hard to break that pattern. and you stay because your like me and just keep hoping and praying something change even though we know all too well that you cant teach an old dog new tricks

Answer 9

I think that you need to find someone else. you will always go back, because you will feel like you have lost something. but i think you have, you just will need to find someone else that will fill that hole... and that cant be hard, cause you two are so different, i think finding a guy that fits you better will be like.. trying find... hay in a haystack.. just seperate and find someone else. :)

Answer 10

one day u will get sick of him and leave him.. love is blind..