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I'm studying abroad in France this year and it's hard to stay thin when everything is so new and exciting!!! I saw my mom over winter break, and she always has this way of making me feel like I'm at the bottom of the world. She creates a rivalry between me and my sister about who is skinnier, prettier, smarter, more successful etc. I gained 14 pounds and I'm a size 6 and she calls me obese. Is that normal? I'm 5'4-5'5 I'm starting to really take to heart what she says and it brings me to this really dark place. As much as i don't care, I really do care about what she thinks. Let me just say 2 years ago her comments made me go and I diet and i became anorexic....what to do what to do

2007-01-15 09:27:49 · 20 answers · asked by maddi 2 in Family & Relationships Family

20 answers

Dear, a size 6 is a SMALL...you have to be 50 lbs or more overweight to be obese...you are virtually underweight...please use your head for something other than growing hair and don't let other peoples idiotic comments affect your self esteem.

I'm 5'6" myself and if I get down to a size 6, I look too thin...you're fine! Work on your confidence and love who you are...don't let ANYone take that from you!

2007-01-15 09:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0 0

A size 6 is a great size for a 5'5'' girl. Almost NOBODY weighs 100 lbs. Ignore what she says about your sister. Stop going home for break.

When she starts getting on you about the things that take you to a dark place, go someplace private, look at a mirror and tell her all the things you wish you could tell her in person. My script goes like this
"You know what? F*** you! I'm smart. I'm gorgeous! I am a wonderful human being and I don't need your validation to make me one! If you can't see how great I am the F*** you! You blind idiot!" (the details of my script differ after that point. I have different issues with my family).

Don't let her ruin your health. I would suggest that every time she says something snide about your weight while you're in France you go eat something with cream sauce.

Maintain a healthy weight. See a physical trainer for this if you have to. S/he'll give you guide lines on how to be the healthiest you that you can be. (The healthiest I can be is a 140lb size 8. I'd like to be a six, but that wouldn't be healthy).

Don't worry about staying thin in France (notice how skinny the girls are there despite the cream sauces?). Eat fun new things and walk around a lot taking in the sights, it'll even out. Go to museums, go to the country side, go do all the great things that make France all frenchy. (except smoking). And if you gain 14, 20, even 30 lbs (which I doubt you will given all the walking people do in Europe), then worry about it when you get home. (back to the land of McDonalds and Jenny Craig).

Ask friends whose opinion you trust about how you look. They'll most likely say. "Oh my Gawd, I wished I looked that good." Fill your life with people who make you feel good about yourself (and be a good positive friend yourself - no making other people feel bad) to counteract your mother's influence.

And if she were any kind of mom at all she would feel really bad about causing you to become anorexic and would guard every word that came out of her mouth lest it encourage you to endanger your health again.

So enjoy France and take a trip to Italy instead of going home for spring break. And give your mom a big ol' "F*** you!" from me.

Hope this helps

2007-01-15 09:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by LX V 6 · 1 0

Take a step back and take a good, hard look at your Mom as a person, not as your mother. Then you'll know who has the problem. If she pushes your buttons, change your buttons. She's looking for a reaction. Don't give her one. If you're studying in France, girl, you must have a lot going for you.

2007-01-15 09:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by beez 7 · 0 0

Your mom has the problem... you are far from obese and she obviosly has some problem with the way she looks or something and feeds off of the fact that her insults affect you... just don't talk to her, she is a leech.

2007-01-15 11:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by blah blah 3 · 1 0

Yes, its normal in some families. Don't worry about what your mother thinks as long as youre happy nothing else should matter Just enjoy life

2007-01-15 13:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

At her size she may comment on your body just because shes little.....but her telling you that, may help you in the future by making sure you don't eat to much but still eat to keep your imune system pumping evergetic blood...don't take it in as a bad comment...but take it in as a good and helpful one!!

2007-01-15 09:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by Riggs 1 · 0 0

Sounds like you are a fine size. That is not fair for her to say. Try to ignore comments like that. There is something wrong with her.

2007-01-15 09:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by wendygirl1000 2 · 1 0

Your not obese. Your Mom is nuts. Ignore her crap of talk to your sister about. Maybe u two could figure something out.

2007-01-15 09:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 1 0

Ugh that must be horrible!
She just feels bad about herself, I bet, so she takes out her stress on you and your sister.
Maybe she's afraid you're going to get fat and is trying to prevent it in a really cruel way.
Don't take what she says to heart!

2007-01-15 09:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by rachel 2 · 1 0

Your mother has a very unrealistic expectation of women. I'd say she needs some counseling. You shouldn't have to put up with this sort of belittling.

2007-01-15 09:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

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