I was seeing a guy and i thought loved him. I didnt fancy him when we got together but i gave it a go. I got to know him and htought i loved him. But there was no spark for me. I met someone the other day and instantly felt like they were put there just for me to meet. the connection i felt was amazing. i finished the other guy cos i dont think its fair to be with him but thinking about the other guy (i cant help thinking about him). Now the guy i was seeing is begging for me back but now feeling how i feel i dont think its fair as i have realised i dont feel a spark between us. What should i do. Choose my happiness and break his heart or stay with him so he isnt hurt???
2007-01-15 09:21:22 · 38 answers · asked by Cheeks 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
there is no point in going out with someone just so that u don't hurt his feelings...... all u are doing is delaying the inevitable - and probably making the situation worse. he's already had his feelings hurt once, and if u go out with him again and reach the same conclusion - ie, that he's not the one for u, you will have to end the relationship again, and hurt him for a second time. don't settle for someone who u don't love - you will only end up resenting him, and then u will both be unhappy.
2007-01-15 09:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you need some time to think about it. Why did you think you loved him? Sparks are great, but they don't always last. Is this new guy someone you could be with long term, or just a fling? There must have been some good qualities in guy #1 for you to think you loved him.
But, if you're truly into the new guy, no way should you go back to the first one just to make him feel better. Eventually you'll start resenting him for holding you back, and wind up ending it anyway.
2007-01-15 09:28:47 · answer #2 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always hard breaking up with someone, especially when they're hurting. Then you feel bad for hurting them and take them back in case you actually did have a good thing but you end up feeling the same you did before.
How do you feel now that you are out of the relationship? You should always follow your heart and if that picks the other guy, then you should just go for it! You can't stay with someone for fear of hurting them as neither of you will be happy. His heart will mend and he will one day understand and appreciate that you did what was best for both of you.
My cousin was seeing someone for about 3 odd years and then met someone at work - exactly same situation. She finished with the boyfriend and went with the new lad - and has not looked back since! They are very much in love and the family all think he's great!
Like I said, follow your heart. If it says the new guy, then go for it. :-)
2007-01-15 09:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by Cat burgler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh same problem here. He's begging for me back but I just really don't like him, he's a great guy and all but were just not meant to be together. I told him that, maybe you could tell him that too! And the guy I finished off doesn't make me feel proud. I thought he was cool until I met him. He was being a fake. If he was like that, tell him the truth and move on! No matter how much he begs, I don't love him back!
2007-01-15 09:34:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little like something I went through. I understand you don't want to hurt him but if you don't feel the spark then it's not worth it. You two can still be friends. He would be more hurt to know that you led him on. Just break it off with him and stay friends, and give it a whirl with the other guy. Who knows.. maybe things wont work out between you two and you realize you really do like your ex.
2007-01-15 09:26:08 · answer #5 · answered by C-Baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never fair to stay with a person out of pity. Of course he will be hurt but we all have been there. And what always happens is eventually we are okay. Same for him, he will be okay eventually. Plus you would be cheating yourself which you should never do. No one is going to take care of you like you so stick to that. This new guy may turn out to be a mistake later on so what you live and learn. So i say go for it. But do not stay with someone you dont feel strongly for. Give him the opportunity to find someone who will return that same love. Keep praying and Stay blessed!
2007-01-15 09:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by shay80800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said u gave it a shot and it didnt work! If you go bck with him u would be misleading him and leading him on. If the spark wasnt there it wasnt there he has to learn to move on. If you get back with him you will always sit wondering if tehre is someone better for u out there and u woould end up unhappy. I hope my advice helped but if i were u i would stay friends w the guy u just broke up with! Good luck !!!!1
2007-01-15 09:29:56 · answer #7 · answered by abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your peronal happiness should be your first priority. If he was the one that you felt was put there just for you to meet and there was that connection, sacrificing that would be worth it. If you were to stay with him just so he doesn't get hurt, that's just pitying him and nobody would want that. Everybody gets hurt by somebody. It's a learning and growth experience. The guy you are going to hurt will just grow and learn and move on over time.
2007-01-15 09:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by fastcarceo25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose your happiness and break his heart, because it'll only break his heart even more if you stayed with him, especially when you don't have feelings for the guy. It would be selfish on your part, and you would hurt him worse in the long wrong.
Don't rule with your emotions. Use your head. Stay with the person you feel connected to.
2007-01-15 09:26:52 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose your happiness, why would you go for a guy your not happy with, and in fairness to him he doesn't deserve you, he deserves somebody who will love him in return, set him free, he might feel bad at first but sooner or later he will forget about you and meet new girls. let him do that Just stay with the person you love.
2007-01-15 09:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by Janelyn B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋