he said things like "why" "i dont know" "i think about it" and "whatever"...anywys we never got married and still arent. Fast forward 2 years and now he will use the whole we are not married thing against me as we may break up...right now the only reason I am here is so I dont lose my child to him in a custody battle as I m a stay home mom and he works (usually out of town) he has threatened to take my kid aways and has made up lies about me to make himself look innocent, when he isnt. This is a man who tried to kill me when i was 8 months pregnant by strangulation and later said he was sooo sorry and wouldnt do it again...stupid me I should have left then bUt i didnt...I dont know what to do...I need advice or anyting useful.
2007-01-15 09:12:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Move out. Go stay with some family. If you can't stay with family, go to a crisis center or a women's shelter. There is no shame in staying at a shelter. They can offer you more help than you will ever realize. Next step, talk to an attorney. If you are at a shelter you may have legal help available to you there. Or you can go to legal aid. Whatever you do, get out and get away. As long as your child is with you, he can't just show up and take the child away without a court order. If he shows up where you are staying...call the police. Don't hesitate. Just call them and get them there. The police can not take the kid from you and give the kid to him. Only a court can do that. And don't let him scare you into thinking the court is going to grant him custody. It's not that easy for a man to get custody.
First and foremost, leave.
2007-01-15 11:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by Marianimal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ANOTHER good reason for girls to get married first, and THEN have kids. What do you mean "may break up?" Why are you still living iwth anyone who put his hands on you--ever? You think he is going to want to marry you when he can get all he wants the way it is? If he wanted to marry you, he would have already. If he was any kind of man, he would not want to have kids without being legal-bastards. Make up YOUR MIND to take your life in YOUR hands and don't sit around waiting for some bum to marry you. Then you will be MARRIED to an criminally abusive, disrespectul, lousy bum. Now that you are in this mess-the first thing you should do TODAY! is RUN-do not walk-to the nearest shelter for women-take the kids with you-w/half the money from the accounts. It's yours! Leave the dog, and the hamster, and the dishwasher and rescue your children. You can "love" him across town, until you grow some self-respect, then you will wonder how in the world you let this happen to you and your innocent baby. he longer you wait the worse it will be. You could get pregnant AGAIN! He cannot get custody of your kids-unless you ar a druggie or something. Then it will be his FAMILY who gets them-not him, if he is gone all the time. He can't hurt you, take your kids, beat you, leave you, etc, if he doesn't know where you are. Do not call to reconcile with this guy. Do us all a favor --VOW that you are not going back to him-no matter what-and then ask for help. That is what those places are for. They will help you get a job, testify for you, baby-sit if necessary, and give you clothes to wear to work. If you have family call and beg them for money to get out of town. Do NOT tell them where you are, so he can't go beat them up for information. Keep in touch with us and good luck.
2016-05-24 08:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a court case a stay at home mom is considered a JOB! They don't side with him just because he is earning money & you aren't. Your job is just as important if not more! For the safety of your child & yourself leave. If you can't afford to leave or have no family that will take you in seek help at a womans center or from the state. Seriously, don't subject yourself to anymore of his unhealthy lifestyle choices for you & your child. You're not stupid for staying with him, but you will be if you know what you are doing is wrong & continue to allow it. Get help before it's too late. And most of all, don't let his threats intimidate you about custody of the child. Be strong & go through all the legal channels. Get proof of his abuse, lies, reciepts of things, etc. for a case in court. Just be prepared, but most of all get out of there.
2007-01-15 09:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by Island Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to marry a man that tried to kill you? Marriage is a serious commitment and should not entered into lightly. From what you write, it's a good thing you are not married. Divorce is NOT pretty. I suggest getting a job and file for custody and move out.
2007-01-16 00:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he can't take the child away from you just because you are a stay at home mother. the courts, no matter how wrong it might be sometimes, usually side with the mother. he can make up as many lies as he wants to, they will not hold up in court unless he has proof. get away from this guy!
2007-01-15 09:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get the support of your family. Have a place to live.
How will you financially support yourself?
Do you have documentation of any of the lies or abuse?
2007-01-15 09:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by kabmiller@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude thats bulll ... get a job and get out of there seriously .. before u end up getting killed
2007-01-15 09:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by brittanie b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE BEST FOR YOU IS TO SEE A LAWYER AND FIND OUT WHAT YOUR RIGHTS ARE. WISHING YOU THE BEST.
2007-01-15 09:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋