Does he like me? What should I do??

Question

Sorry guys, this is a bit of a long one. Please wait for the additional info before answering. Cheers! :-)

Ok, I’m just about to finish a 6 month contract (Thursday!) and I like a guy that I work with. He started just before I did and is also on contract, which was due to end this month but has now been extended until at least April as the project is running later than planned. He lives in London but has moved up here to Scotland for this project for the time being.

Thing is, I haven’t a clue if he likes me or not as I get very mixed signals from him! We used to go out for lunch all the time at first, just the two of us, not just the staff canteen but for wanders about the town centre and once to a Chinese buffet lol. Sometimes even taking about 2 hours! We even went for a drink once after work, though not as a date and nothing happened. We get on well and have a laugh together – even sharing a couple of ‘in-jokes’.

We talk about doing stuff outside of work but it never happens as he is really busy (working odd hours because he has to be in contact with America etc – sometimes if we’re emailing each other, he’ll get back to me at random hours of the evening ie 9pm or later due to the amount of work he has to do). I’ve had to cancel a couple of times as well due to other arrangements. He’s into snowboarding etc etc and once he randomly asked me when I was going to try it. He sometimes comes out with something random like that.

Thing is, a few weeks after we met at work, an old mate of mine got in contact with me and we just started seeing each other. You know how it happens. It only lasted a few weeks (very complicated situation lol) and the guy at work went on holiday during this time. When he came back, he kinda backed off a bit and we didn’t speak as much. We still went for lunch, but not as much and the subject of relationships and if we were seeing anyone became ‘taboo’ lol.

So, I assumed he wasn’t interested because he wasn’t acting like he was! Thing is, he’s now acting a bit differently. I went on a couple of dates last month and was talking to my colleague about it when I caught the guy from work listening in. Also, when I wear a skirt, I catch him having a wee sneaky peak lol. He stood with his hand on my shoulder for ages to talk to me the other week. Then a couple of weeks later, he put his hand on the back of my neck to get my attention and talk to me (which he did not remove for ages lol). Then the friendly neck strangling thing when I agreed with someone else who was taking the mick out of him lol. Also, he got a new car and I joked about him taking me out for a spin. One day he randomly turned round and asked if the following week we should go out for a spin and lunch? But that’s not happened either as he doesn’t always work in my office and is sometimes too busy to go out for lunch himself.

It’s my birthday night out on Saturday and he’s agreed to come along and stay at my mates even though he knows no-one there, but didn’t come to my leaving night on Saturday just passed. He spent his xmas and new year snowboarding and dislocated his shoulder – said he was going to have a quiet weekend and rest it.

He’s 34 and I’m just turning 23. I have been told I’m good looking and mature for my age – I have my career plans and goals ahead of me and I’m working sooo much to try and save for them! (Masters degrees and PhD.) So I’m worried it may be an age thing, or he thinks I’m not interested because I was dating the other guys? He says he’s single as if he was seeing someone in London, he wouldn’t be up here and he jokes with others in the office about how his family want him to settle etc etc lol.

Is the fact he’s coming out for my birthday a good sign? Or is he one of those guys who isn’t actually interested but thinks I’m interested and is just doing things to keep me interested? Or could it be the fact that he’s moving back down south and doesn’t want anything? He’s quite jokey at work but a mate says he could be shy? My colleague can’t really read him either but I worked with another woman a few months back while I was training and she popped in the other day and asked if we had got together as she thought he liked me???? Please help I’m soo confused! My night out will be the last time I’ll get to see him. Should I just ask him out? (though subtly lol). Thanks for taking the time to read this – I know it’s very very long :-( :-)

thing is, I also have to be the one who contacts first - text or email and he's not always that chatty, which makes me think he doesn't like me :-(

Answer 1

It certainly sounds like he has a thing for you, although he might not have done anything about it because he knows your contract is ending and he might not see you again. I think you should ask him outright if he likes you on your birthday, have a bit of dutch courage and just come out with it in the nicest possible way.
Good luck!

Answer 2

He is obviously showing signs of interest towards you,body language e.t.c. but you have to weigh up how you would feel if you were in a relationship with him, odd times together due to work e.t.c. When he backed off a bit from you do you think he had something going on with someone else while he was on holiday.Best thing to do is tell him how you feel and ask him out,but do this before you start drinking.Good luck and all the best with your future. If all else fails ill take you out on a date. M xx

Answer 3

i think it definatly sounds like hes likes you... alot! he sounds really shy though, considering how long this has been going on for, so i would definatly make the first move at your birthday thing because if this is the last time your going to see him and you dont, you will regret it and always wonder would of happened

you havnt got much to lose really because if you do ask and he says no then you wont really be seeing him anymore so it wont be awkward, and if he says yes then you will be getting to see him more which is what you want anyway!

and if its meant to be, the age shouldnt really make a difference although its best to check your both looking for the same kinds of things

wishing you the best of luck, he sounds like a decent guy, definatly a keeper :)

Answer 4

I'm kind of in the same position with someone I see at university every day. I'm too scared to say anything, partly for fear of rejection and also because I know it would totally change what's become a really good friendship. So I'm not sure what to advise! If you know he plans to move back down south, I guess you have nothing to lose... good luck!

Answer 5

hi,im sort of going through that myself,but im too scared 2 ask,there`s a age difference between us.they are older than me by 14yrs,we do all the same things as you 2 do work together ect... think what we both need 2 do girly is be brave and ask them

Answer 6

No but I'm in the same position and it gets really confusing and irritating. Just take life how it comes, live with it and stop worrying and I used to but then I got really messed up from worrying.

Answer 7

wow that was a long one!!! but honey my best bet from the sound of him he likes you (a lot) from the way you talk about the way he acts but be carefull do you know him that well? like is he married? does he have kids? but if you know he doesnt that what are you waiting for it could be that hes just shy and doesnt want to sound to forward by asking you out!!! keep us updated about how it goes xx

Answer 8

yeah, i think you should, i mean if you can feel that jingle and tickly feeling of his hand then why not try if they are feeling good when you hold them. ow dear, I am dying of reading your long long long.........