My boyfriend told me that he feels like we're a boring couple...?

Question

We've been together since June 2005 and when we first got together we were HOT!!! Now it's almost 2 years later and we now live together and he told me recently and once or twice before that he feels like we are boring. Do you think this is a sign that a break up is near or that it's just time to spice up the romance? I tried to explain that we can't entertain each other ALL the time and that we need to be comfortable with just hanging out-what do you think?

Answer 1

Hmmm this reminds me of a passage I really like...it's by C.S. Lewis. It's sort of long but it's worth reading. It's mostly about marriage but I think you can find that some parts of it will apply to your situation.

"People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on 'being in love' for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to change - not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last. The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the R.A.F. and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there. Does this mean it would be better not to learn to fy and not to live in the beautiful place? By no means. In both cases, if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. What is more (and I can hardly find words to tell you how important I think this), it is just the people who are ready to submit to the loss of the thrill and settle down to the sober interest, who are then most likely to meet new thrills in some quite different direction. The man who has learned to fly and become a good pilot will suddenly discover music; the man who has settled down to live in the beauty spot will discover gardening.

"This is, I think, one little part of what Christ meant by saying that a thing will not really live unless it first dies. It is simply no good trying to keep any thrill; that is the very worst thing you can do. Let the thrill go - let it die away - go on through that period of death into the quieter interest and happiness that follow - and you will find you are living in a world of new thrills all the time. But if you decide to make thrills your regular diet and try to prolong them artificially, they will all get weaker and weaker, and fewer and fewer, and you will be a bored, disillusioned old man for the rest of your life. It is because so few people understand this that you find many middle-aged men and women maundering about their lost youth, at the very age when new horizons ought to be appearing and new doors opening all round them. It is much better fun to learn to swim than to go on endlessly (and hopelessly) tring to get back the feeling you had when you first went paddling as a small boy.

"Another notion we get from novels and plays is that 'falling in love' is something quite irresistible; something that just happens to one, like measles. And because they believe this, some married people throw up the sponge and give in when they find themsleves attracted by a new acquaintance. But I am inclined to think that these irresistible passions are much rarer in real life than in books, at any rate when one is grown up. When we meet someone beautiful and clever and sympathetic, of course we ought, in one sense, to admire and love these good qualities. But it is not very largely in our own choice whether this love shall, or shall not, turn into what we call 'being in love'? No doubt, if our minds are full of novels and plays and sentimental songs, and our bodies full of alcohol, we shall turn any love we feel into that kind of love; just as if you have a rut in your path all the rainwater will run into that rut, and if you wear blue spectacles everything you see will turn blue. But that will be our own fault."

~C.S. Lewis, in "Mere Christianity"

The "hot" periods weren't meant to last forever...it's better to learn to appreciate a quieter kind of thrill/happiness.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Sounds like he is getting the 2 year itch. Spice things up a little with him in the bedroom. If this doesnt work maybe have a heart to heart talk to see what is really going on in his head. Also, do you think he has his eye on someone else? Just asking sometimes this is the case when men start acting strangely. Hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

properly, what do you % to do? you ought to bypass see a movie, consume a cafe you have in no way been to, bypass bowling, or play video games with him. you ought to have an concept in ideas in case you % to do something, considering the fact it is different from he's going to bounce on the seen spending 0.5 an hour of debating on the place you adult males ought to bypass. detect a comedy club close to you or a curler rink. Or invite him for some warm, wild intercourse. better then staring at him watch the computing device.

Answer 4

often times the first two years are the best but after that things start slowing down. it just means you guys may not love each other only sexually anymore. I think you're right..just hang out more

Answer 5

He might be getting bored with you. Try doing something new to keep him guessing, the same stuff all the time is never fun.

Answer 6

you guys should hang out more often and talk too.

Answer 7

ok???......i don't know....