How do i get over a death this close?

Question

ok...the deal is that i lose my father recently and i have got to move on because i am SERIOUSLY depressed. He had a massive heartattack and was also an alcoholic. He chose drinking over a realationship with me but i loved him more than anyone else even though he hurt so bad. When my father died he toke a large piece of me with him. How can i focus on things like family, my boyfriend, and school? someone please help me! im dying here

Answer 1

My sympathies.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it will take time. The closer you are to someone, the longer it takes to get through the grieving process. It didn't matter what your dad was like, he was your dad.

Try your best to keep your body busy. (I find that when my body is busy it clears my head).

Lean on your friends for support. They probably don't know what to say or do, but they do want to help you. Tell them what you need from them (a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, patience, someone to drag you to the movies when you don't feel like going, etc)

If you're still in school, see you counselor. You may want to seriously think about seeing a therapist.

At some point you will probably feel angry with your father for being and alcoholic, for choosing an unhealthy lifestyle, even for dying. Don't feel guilty about. It's also a natural part of grieving. A trained professional will talk you though this.

Your teachers will understand that your schoolwork will suffer during this time. You may have better luck studying with a friend in the meantime.

Try to reach outside of yourself. You may find that helping others makes you feel better. See if your church or school has any volunteer opportunities.

I hope this helps. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 2

There are many support groups available where you can talk with other people who have experienced similar situations. Because part of the problem seems to be that your are still trying to get over his alcohol abuse you may want to look into a local Al -anon and Alateen meeting. To get over the death, you may need some formal therapy sessions to help you put closure to this and to clear your head enough to move forward.

I'm sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.

Answer 3

You have to start understand that hes gone to peace. No more alochols for him which is good things but sadly he wont be here anymore. Now you have to wake up and be yourself, you already learned that he was alocholic and you won't let it happen to you. Now you have family, boyfriend and school, get serious with that. ARe you alone? no, you got them, so why depressed about that? Think Positive and have your father stay in your heart, he will watch you how much you will be sucess in your future. Good luck.

Answer 4

It's the grieving process sweetheart.
It takes different times for different people.

A part of you has died. It was your dad. But he wants you to go on, live life to it's fullest, cherish each day, love and be with the ones you love.
He chose not to be around you as much as you would of liked, but it's up to you to either live the way he did, or live the way you wish he would of, could of or should of.

It hurts awhile, maybe along while, but you were given life, grieve and keep loving the life you were given.

Answer 5

Everyone grieves at their own pace. There is no real way to rush it.If you suppress it it will only come back to haunt you later.All you can do is try and busy yourself with life thats happening around you.try and focus on the positive things.All things heal in time.You will feel better, just dont push yourself so hard.And even though your dad wasnt perfect, its ok for you to miss him.

Answer 6

I'm really sorry for your loss. Just because your dad made some wrong decisions he was still your dad and obviously you loved him. When you lose someone that you love it is very hard. I think it would be helpful to you to go get some counciling to resolve some of your guilt and help you go on with your life. It always helps to talk with someone close to you who understands your situaltion. Time will heal your pain so be strong.

Answer 7

I am really sorry for your loss. Grieve as much as you want. There is no timeframe or How To Guide for getting over someone you were close to.
I myself lost a relative to suicide in August. My heart broke in a million pieces. It still feels broken.
We just have to keep going in life, realizing every day is a special gift.

Answer 8

Please I urge you to go see your doctor, maybe a bit of grief conselling would help you? Always remember, things like this, take time. Time does heal. I would say your father didn't choose alcohol over you, remember alcoholism is an illness. It does affect loved ones though, I know from experience. Please get some help, remember you must go through the grief process, in order to heal. To me, you are quite normal.

Answer 9

You may want to read this article http://nitzitry.notlong.com/ i found, will be useful also has info on different treatments and should help with your depression. And some natural remedies which will help cheer people up.

Answer 10

you would have to think something positive about him because it would take a while for u to git ova that so just give it some time it would go down naturally and soon

may god bless you