i'm getting married in September and having my best friend, my flat mate, as my only bridesmaid. I haven't got anyone else close to me, i'm not particularly close to family so would only, by choice, have 1 bridesmaid. However, my mother is dead against this and is saying i have to have more than 1. Apparently i have alienated my family (even though me and my cousins have lived in different cities and grown apart over time, which i didn't think was all my fault) and that i should feel bad for not having any of my cousins as bridesmaids. Can anyone tell me what is so bad about just having 1 bridesmaid? Anyone i ask now would be purely to pacify Mum and not becos i want them. Also feel guilty cos she and my stepfather are funding almost the entirity of the wedding as we're getting wed sooner than we thought cos we have to move abroad, and it wont just be pennies. In a dilemma as don't want to offend Mum but don't want another BM just for the sake of having nicer photos!
2007-01-15 08:31:49 · 37 answers · asked by butterfly.bride 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am in your shoes now. I am having only one maid of honor and one best man. Many in both my side of the family and his are offended that they were not asked. Instead, I have found ways to include them in the wedding without standing in it. (doing readings, wed. coordinator, etc.) Although they're still disappointed they can't stand, they're happy to be included as it makes them feel important.
That's pretty much the purpose of having a bridesmaid - even though other's would consider only the reason of having them help you in the wedding (anyone could do that). The bridesmaid position is a position of honor, so if you don't feel like honoring someone you never see or hardly know, then you shouldn't be made to do so.
Plus, I tried to joke with them that they won't be having to foot the bill on an expensive dress. (not that it's expensive, but it really helped my decision knowing only one girl would be paying for it, and I could get any style I wanted. If it was too much to ask my maid to pay for, I didn't mind shelling out extra to help, since it is only one gal.)
Just be warned that if you do decide not to ask family to stand, they may get insulted and that's something you may have to deal with down the road.
Best of luck, and congrats!!!
2007-01-15 08:46:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding so you should be able to have what you want however when other people are involved with the financial side it is hard to get everything that you want. Your mum only wants whats best for you but cannot see that you and your cousins are no longer close and because she is paying alot towards this wedding she wants the rest of the family to see this and so lots of bridesmaids would send this message accross. You have to sit down with your mum and explain what you want and listen to what she wants then meet somewhere in the middle so everyone is happy. Good luck
2007-01-16 02:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by sonic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't agree no rely what others evaluate. This phase would not exist if that have been definitely. i've got been to a wedding ceremony ceremony with an unequal quantity and it wasn't a large deal. besides the undeniable fact that, I evaluate there exchange into as quickly as purely yet another bridesmaid than groomsman. What you're making plans is a little greater seen. And what struck me lots is you're marrying a guy with no friends or family members. that's what's lots extraordinary spectacular right here. additionally, once you have have been given 6 bridesmaids, you're actually not any greater in contact that "we" understand so few human beings. for sure, you're lined. you're in contact that "he" is wide-unfold with of so few human beings. So wherein have, this plan seems to magnify that.
2016-10-31 04:47:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have more than 1 bridesmaid. Heck, my sister's getting married, and she's not having bridesmaids PERIOD, and she has 3 sisters! I was thrilled, because I told her I was not wearing an ugly dress, no matter what, and she told me I could wear whatever I wanted, because they weren't having a wedding party. Tell your mother (nicely--since she's footing the bill) that this is YOUR wedding, and you will honor who you see fit. Maybe--to keep the peace--you can have the cousins do readings, or take the gifts, or be ushers, or play some other role in the wedding.
2007-01-15 08:39:00 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask you mum what she thinks the reaction would be if you chose just 2 of your cousins - what about those you don't ask.
Explain that apart from your flatmate, there are other friends you would like to ask but don't want to offend anyone by asking one friend and not the other and this is the case with cousins - you say you have alienated yourself by not asking any of them - just let her think what would happen if you asked just a couple of them - World War 3 would break out
I know this as I asked 3 of my nieces who I saw every Friday for years but didnt ask my other 2 nieces who I never saw, this resulted in both their parents and grandparents boycotting my wedding (even though the 3 bridesmaids were also g/children)
Stick to your guns, it is your day - don't be bought!!!
2007-01-15 11:30:12 · answer #5 · answered by PMF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
errr let me get this right - its YOUR wedding day yeah not ya mums -so you have as many or as few bridesmaids as you want
i think your mum is saying all this as you have cousins etc and its expected that you should choose them too. Hopefully this will be your first and last wedding so do it the way you want it too be - alienated your family (just becuase you dont want them as b/maids) what a laugh and of course they will all turn up for the wedding !!!!! stick to your guns its YOUR and the Grooms big day make it the way you want it and not what anyone else wants.
Good luck
2007-01-15 08:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing wrong with having one bridesmaid. I think that the way to do it is try to explain to your mum that this is your day, and that you appreciate her help, but it really is down to you. Other than that, I would do it with out her. You marry for love, doesn't have to be an expensive wedding, so long as your happy and with the person you love.
2007-01-15 08:38:39 · answer #7 · answered by Nefarious Rascal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why i'm going to Gretna Green next Friday to get married. Just me my boyfriend and our daughter. It is unconventional I know but it is exactly the wedding I want. Which is the whole point of YOUR wedding day. Do what you want, thank your mom for her advice and opinion in this matter but say they you really dont want another bridesmaid. Try and use another of her suggestions for the day, or ask her advice on other aspects of the wedding so that she still feels involved in the day.
2007-01-15 08:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by gingajen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have as many or as few as you like, only one is the chief bridesmaid the rest are just for decoration, If your mother is paying for most of the wedding I think you should comply with her wishes, maybe she would have liked to have more at her wedding and alway's regretted it , I had only one when i got married . Go on it's not too much to ask . HAVE A GREAT DAY WHEN IT COME'S AND EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY .
2007-01-15 08:52:17 · answer #9 · answered by MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its a dilemma faced by many but stick to your guns. They might be paying but its your wedding. If you're not close to cousins,whats the point? Know its hard but its better to have someone you actually know and like as a bridesmaid than someone you don't. Congratulations and best wishes
2007-01-15 08:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋