It's gotten complicated. I have a best friend (male) and we're closest friends as you can get without it being more. I've been thinking about it for a while n i've decided i'd like it to be more than a friendship.
We had a lot of drunken flirting at new year, but nothing happened from it. One minute he's hugging me, is all over me and i think he wants it to be more than a friendship too. Yet, the next minute he's treating me like we're just friends and nothing more and he couldn't care less about me - what do you all reckon - does he like me as more than a friend or not?
I don't know whether to say anything about my feelings or not - i mean, it would put our friendship at risk - and that does mean the world to me.
2007-01-15 08:29:03 · 17 answers · asked by Bella Donna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him that you were confused by the way he acted towards you over the new year . Say that it made you feel as if you wanted to take it one stage futher. but didnt want to in case it meant that you would lose him as a friend if it didnt work out.Tell him that you really dont want to lose that friendship, so could he let you know whats going on in his head.
2007-01-15 08:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's scared of losing a good friend if the relationship comes to an end.
It happened to me and my best male friend a few years ago and when the relationship ended it was very pain full and I did feel that I had lost the other half of me as we'd known each other for so long. After 2 years we got back in touch and thankfully we are best friends again, but there is always that feeling there that we could go back to being lovers again in the heat of the moment and that could be the end of our friendship so we don't put ourselves in that situation i.e we don't get drunk together etc
I would suggest sitting down with him and talking honestly about how you feel about each other and then decide between you where the relationship goes from there.
Don't be hurt if he says friendship is all he wants after all lovers come and go but friends are forever.
I wish you the best of luck he sounds like a lovely person as do you
2007-01-15 16:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by moby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really hard. I'm in a kind of similar situation, except we're not as close friends as you two obviously are and we've never had any flirting - we're just good friends who get on really well... only I'd like it to be more! I don't feel I can risk saying anything for fear of wrecking our friendship, and to be honest the situation's worse for you as you're so close to each other. In some ways I do believe in taking risks in life, though - it has be better than having regrets for things you were never quite brave enough to do.
2007-01-15 18:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by Phil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the old $64,000 question, do I drive myself nuts and leave things as they are and don't risk damaging things, or do I take it to the next level and either have the time of my life, or wreck everything?
I'd say watch "When Harry Met sally" and try work it out best for you, after that ;-)
Do you not have mutual friends you could sound the idea out on? Might someone know that he is mad about you too, but is scared himself, or could tell you "Didn't you know??? He's gay"
It's best to not let the genie out of the bottle without evidence that he's interested in going on, because if he's not, and he knows you are, that might make it too uncomfortable for him to carry on, and you lose everything.
2007-01-15 16:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably thinks exactly the same as you, but doesnt want to risk his friendship The only thing you can do is risk it nothing ventured nothing gained
2007-01-15 16:38:17 · answer #5 · answered by pigeon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try asking him as you would if you was joking then if he knocks you back you say come on, im joking!
You need to find out one way or the other because if you dont, and you do really like him alot then it's going to eat you up inside. Good luck, hope he likes you too as in more than friends.
2007-01-15 16:38:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
babe this is a hard one i have answered a similar one to this a long time ago... i had my male best friend declair his love for me years ago and it ended up splitting our friendship up as he could not handle my rejection as my love for him was not the same.... sorry can't help you but do think hard about this what is more important to you his friendship or the risk that you could loose him if he doesn't feel the same?
2007-01-15 16:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I reckon he likes you, but maybe he too doesn't want to ruin the relationship. Just talk to him, if you don't you may regret it for the rest of you life.
2007-01-15 16:38:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on if he was drunk every time he made moves. If yes, then it's the booze. If not, then he probably likes you and doesn't want to screw up you friendship.
2007-01-15 16:35:01 · answer #9 · answered by tokes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blowing hot and cold usually means his heart belongs to another
2007-01-15 16:40:38 · answer #10 · answered by DONNAIS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋