do you suppose its better to know your significant others past? know exact numbers of those who came before you?
or better to leave the past and the past?
do you feel better knowing?
2007-01-15 07:47:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I asked, he told, I didn't like what I heard.I kinda hurt my feelings even tho I know it was before me. So In my experience it's better to leave the past behind ya.
2007-01-15 07:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the gory details aren't important but it is important to know if there were 6 relationships or 50 relationships. It is important to know how involved your significant is capable of being. Does he cycle his women by the month or by the decade. Early on in our relationship, my fiance volunteered a specific number of women that he had been involved with previously over the years. The number was low which made me feel confident that he was capable of being in a long term relationship with me and then later the discussion about any STDs was very short. Over time he volunteered more information about various past gfs and thats fine. I have done the same.
Quite frankly if the person is into things that YOU aren't okay with-- it is better to find out sooner than later. Such as if the general conversation netted you information that BF is in to group sex sometimes, or bisexuality, you might want to discuss your views on those topics now--rather than learning the info with a shock in your face later.
2007-01-15 16:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by lifesweetcandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people feel the need to know because sometimes they are not as "experienced" as their significant other. Some people really could care less. If you really feel the need to know, then tell your partner that you feel like you should both be completely honest with each other and you should let each other know how many people came before you. I would not, however, get into specifics about each and every one. Don't ask him how long each one was, or how far the relationship got. That information is private and he will divulge it to you if he feels you need to know. Some people do feel better knowing about how "experienced" their significant other is but I personally choose to not judge the relationship by how "experienced" my partner is. Also, don't judge your PARTNER by how many relationships he has had. If it's a lot, it may not be his fault. Just be poen and honest and hopefully he will be the same with you.
Good Luck!
2007-01-15 15:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In certain areas of life like for example when it comes to STD's i think its good to know. But at the same time if you really care about this person the number of people that were in the past shouldn't really matter. I don't ask because I've found out from my own experience that it bothered me and it made things are harder for me and that guy. So I don't ask unless they ask. Unless I have reason to believe there might be something I should know about. That's just something you have to decide on if it's important for you to know about or can you just accept the guy for who he is now.
2007-01-15 15:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lindsey G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would have to say its way better to know about the past cause who knows .. they could have slept with alot of ppl therefore putting u at risk of STD's .. i would get a quick check up before anything is done just to be on the safe side.
2007-01-15 15:53:38 · answer #5 · answered by chantee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In certain situations, you should know some parts of the past... but you shouldn't dwell on it, because it happend so long ago. (Does it really matter)? You should be focusing on whats going on now! Don't worry about it though... keep your eye on the present!
2007-01-15 15:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by CUTIE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are not naive, we know we are not the first ones in their lives. It will only cause you hurt & curiosity to know how many, then you'll wanna demand who..It will bring trouble just leave it in the past.
2007-01-15 15:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't care how many people my husband was with in the past. None of my business...I wasn't even part of his life then. I only care about the present.
2007-01-15 15:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by scoop6698 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is good to have total honesty with someone you are considering spending you life with. I don't think you need to share all the details but part of sharing your life is knowing something about the person you share it with. The other people in his/her life and what kind of relationship they had is a part of who they are now and that effects your relationship also.
2007-01-15 15:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by Kathy E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want to know - as you said, what's in the past is in the past.
2007-01-15 15:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by ForeverAnAngel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋