this is a release of anger and a question...?

Question

okay when I was little my parents were never there for me I always had to go to my grand parents or my uncle. My dad has an excuese kinda, he was almost allways on the road (Truck Driving long haul) but I allways had to "keep my chin up" for my brother and my sister. After I turned seven I took on the older sibling roll and was constantly there for my sister and brother. When my sister experienced her first heart break I was there saying it's okay and all that, but when I first had my heart broken no one was there. My mom when I was little didn't care about anyone except her and her husband... My life has gone from bad to pretty good, I got a bunch of friends that care about me (I didn't when I was little) and a guy that worships the ground that I walk on *smile*. My question is how do I forgive my parents for being such bad parents? and belive me they were bad. thanks.

I've given up on talking to them a long long long time ago. any time I try to talk to them the police are called.

Answer 1

Realize, you gave them a chance, I'm sure you gave them many chances, and realize it's their fault, their loss, not yours anymore. Just take some time to yourself, ponder over the past, but do not dwell upon it. Soon enough you'll come to forgive, just remember you must let yourself forgive them. Forgive, but do not forget, however do not dwell on the past either. You'll find the right balance one day.

Be happy with who you are now and what your life is like now, because you do seem very pleased with your current life. The forgiveness will come with time, don't worry. Just live your life to it's fullest, and know that if you ever have children someday you'll be a wonderful parent.

Live your life and move on, it's in the past, you've given it all you can, and they just won't move on, so there's not much more you can do. If you do feel uncomfortable or unsure of things, seek guidance from one of your friends or even go talk to a counselor once in a while to just let it all out and help you to take control of the necessity of forgiveness.

Good luck, you sound like a very capable person, something tells me you'll be just fine.

Answer 2

You may not be able to forgive them. Until you lose the anger that you feel, you won't be able to forgive them. Sometimes when you know someone is truly sorry for what they have done you can forgive them but until you feel the regret that the person who has hurt you feels you may never be able to forgive them. You have to ask yourself, do you want to waste your time carrying the weight of the anger you feel towards them or would you rather learn to forgive and focus on the good things in life. Anger tends to taint the good things and take away from your enjoyment. You may never be truly happy until you learn to let go. It doesn't mean that you will ever forget what happened to you, but you need to try to forgive for your own sake not for there's.

Sorry they were so rotten. Nobody deserves that.

Answer 3

They call the cops everythime you try to communicate with them? Why are they doing that? I mean no disrespect, but do they feel threatened by you - did something happen to make them fearful of you, or are they just being difficult? I will answer for both scenarios.....1. If you have did somethng in the past that has made them fearful, then try writing a letter - God knows that you do not want to end up in jail for nonsense....tell them in the letter that you are sorry for what you did, and that you want a relationship with them....that you see the error of your ways, but you still have some unresolved issues, and that because you love them, you want to work it all out. Try to call/ask after a few days to see if they got the letter...this will probably soften their hearts and open a line of communication...after which try to plan some activities with which to bond...cook them dinner, take them to the park if weather permits...you know what they like....and just use the time to initiate small talk, about school or work.....win them over again and build a relationship with them, just as you would with someone you just met.....keep in mind that you will have to keep building and not break trust with a temper tantrum or something like that...take it upon yourself to be mature and the bigger person.....2. If they are simply being mean, then it will not be that easy....they are hardeing their hearts toward you for reasons unknown to you, and you may have to go on and find closure with in yourself, with no resolvation from their end....if this is the case - no one deserves to be cast aside and abused like that, and with no disrespect intended - you will probably do better without them in your life....if you are still under their roof, then you have to be respectful...do so until you are old enough for college, and then once you are away from them, concentrate on being the sort of adult that is total opposite of them...use this as a learning experience...some people are parents, but that does not make them fit parents...don't let the experience make you bitter...let it make you strong, and concentrate on how not to do what they did to you....you forgive them by understanding that just because on becomes a parent, that it does not mean that they will be a good one....may be they never had anyone to tell them how to be good parents...maybe they were selfish by nature....maybe they just did not care...who knows?....none of it is right, but there are many reasons for situations like that....I hope you find the closure you are looking for, Good Luck.

Answer 4

that was then , This is now there is no way you can change who they were or what they did so why are you allowing it to pull you down, Inspite of all of this you did very well for your self, so obviously you took the bad times and used them as a lesson on how NOT to be as a person or a parent, I am not saying forgive them , just look at them as sad indiviguals that missed out and messed up big time and they need your sympathy and nothing else

Answer 5

they are your parents! they brought you in to this world. they chose the way they raised you. it is up to YOU now to be the better parent and friend to your children. i went thru this, dad who had everything and a mom who laid on the couch and cuddled with my sis, while i lay on the floor. I LAY WITH BOTH MY KIDS ON THE COUCH, THEY COME FIRST AND MOST CERTAINLY TELL THEM EVERYDAY WHO LOVES THEM AND HOW MUCH!it doesnt need to be a matter of forgiveness. if you cannot figure out how to forgive them then you are not obligated too. Have you ever brought this to their attention? maybe an apology from them could help you figure this out. BUT LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST and don't be them! and when you have a man that worships you....LOVE HIM PASSIONATELY!!

Answer 6

i dont want to tell you that yep ive been there, but i will tell you what you should do. they are your parent , they brought you into this world, yep they might act immature, but then again you have to forgive your own flesh and blood, you dont want to just ignore them either, they might not even know they are making you feell that way which is the reasoni willl say talk to them, now they dont have control over you,.... i hope and you said you happy now so go meet them and talk to them , let all that be for the past and move on to the present, i did that and my life has change for even the better,, you might need them in the future and now that you not talking to them, you wont know how to approach them when you want to so now is the best time. put yourself in their position and try to think why they acting that way.. me they will leave me to my five siblings and go out and then come back home and if the house is messy blame it on me and make me clean it all, yell at me dont buy things for me but i get over it, they weren't doing it on purpose it might just be wat they going through, even though i think everycase is different the best and last policy is just forgive them, and dont ignore them either.

Answer 7

You really need to pray to God and ask him to help you forgive your parents. If you hold a grudge it'll eat you up inside. I should know because I dealt with this but when I asked God to help me forgive and not let it eat me up. When I did forgive I had a huge lift up off my heart and you need to do the same. God will help you get the strength to forgive like he did with me.

Answer 8

You simply forgive, there is no "how" about it. Because if you don't forgive them it will fester and make your life miserable. You can't go back and change the past, but you can move forward. It's your choice though.

Answer 9

You don't really have to forgive them, just decide not to let it eat at you anymore. You did a great job with the hand you where dealt and they are the losers. Move on for yourself and stop being angry.

Answer 10

Just make the choice to forgive them. You don't even have to talk to them face to face or at all. Tell God that you want to forgive them and he will help you.