I did a very stupid thing. I had too much too drink and try to kiss my boyfriend's friend and now he broke up with me and he also said that i need too much attention that he feels that he cant give me. What can I do to show him that I care and want to be with him and work things out.
2007-01-15 07:33:42 · 26 answers · asked by chanlen2005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Only a sub-human jerk can't (or won't) forgive a genuinely contrite someone.
If I were your boyfriend, I'd forgive you right up front, and then see if there were any issues we needed to resolve in our relationship.
The rest of my answer addresses things from your perspective:
Several possibilities come to mind:
1) If he said he feels you need more attention than he can give, you have to allow for the possibility his assessment is accurate. Don't take it as an insult against you, but as an admission of his own shortcoming.
If you're going to continue together in a relationship with each other, either
(a) he's going to have to grow enough to be confident in his ability to satisfy you -- which involves lots of things, or
(b) you and he need to have some sort of "open" arrangement in your relationship -- which can also get very complicated.
2) If your "misbehavior" was the result of your being under the influence of alcohol, you need to decide whether
(a) the alcohol merely lowered your inhibitions (so that you revealed desires that you really do have, but that you ordinarily suppress), or
(b) you were sufficiently inebriated that you didn't have control of your faculties, and didn't at that moment really fully appreciate the nature and quality of what you did.
Contrary to what many have answered, alcohol affects people differently (even in moderation) and inebriation can occur without warning (again, with effects being unique to the individual). Just because others drink like fish and keep their wits doesn't mean you could.
In the case of 2b, we have to consider whether it is your habit to get so drunk. It's certainly possible your drink was spiked without your consent, which (imho) would exonerate you completely.
OTOH, if you are a "party girl" that likes to "get hammered," chances are very high something like this will happen again. That puts you in the position of needing to quit alcohol before it's reasonable for him to take you back (since it was a problem for him).
Be honest with yourself: if 2a is the case, OR if you need more attention than any one man can provide -- you need to make some changes in order to have a happy life.
2007-01-15 07:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by wireflight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is tell him how sorry you are, that it won't happen again, that you really love him, and stop drinking so much! Why did you do that? Maybe he's right and you want more attention than he can give. Maybe you are too 'needy' in a relationship and when he wouldn't give you that attention you got it from somewhere else. Soul search baby.
2007-01-15 07:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that you can do is pray that he forgives you. Being drunk does not mean you should be able to get away with it. If you tried kissing his friend while you were drunk what would you have done if his friend would have kissed you back. If he sees a potential problem then maybe he is making the right move but only he knows that. The only thing that you can do is pray that he will want you back. If not it was a bad mistake and the only way we learn is from making them. Its hard but you have to pay the consequences of your actions.
2007-01-15 07:40:21 · answer #3 · answered by Believe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't do stupid things like drink too much and use that as an excuse to kiss other guys. That's what I would do to show him that I was sorry.
2007-01-15 07:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What are you talking about...you just showed him that you don't care. Learn from your mistakes. If you are going to use alcohol as an excuse, don't drink. It is NOT an excuse. I drink all the time and I know what boundaries not to cross. I know who I love and what I amwilling to do and not do...that doesn't change when I drink.
Learn your lesson...he was smart to say by to you. It sounds like you need to grow up a bit before you are ready for a mature relationship!
2007-01-15 07:38:57 · answer #5 · answered by tellme 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing really. If it was meant to be, you wouldn't have kissed his friend. Just move on. As far as the drinking goes, maybe you should slow down.
2007-01-15 07:38:19 · answer #6 · answered by trisha_r_c 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can see why he'd be upset that you got drunk and tried to kiss his friend. What you did was really wrong and stupid. You better keep moving because I don't think he'll take you back after that one. But you could try to talk to him.
2007-01-15 07:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Grieving can be hard. The steps are--
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
You are exhibiting a classic bargaining behavior.
The sad news is that it's probably over this time, and if it is, you need to grieve your loss and move on to the next chapter of your life. Best of luck.
2007-01-15 07:37:25 · answer #8 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If that's all it took for your BF to get upset and dump you....then, sorry to say, but he wasn't much of a man and you're better off without him! Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to dump you!
2007-01-15 07:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness!Stop the drinking till I'm horny bit and maybe that will help. Seriously do you actually really think that he's dumb enough to fall for it again if he did get back with you??? Truth hurts..my bad!
2007-01-15 07:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋