Alcohol, mood swings, and relationships?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. He told me when we first started dating that he used to be an alcoholic. He still drinks, and at first I thought he had it under control, but he never drinks before work or during work, and he never lets it affect his work, however, at night and on the weekends, he starts with a glass of beer, and then goes through almost two bottles of wine. He has promised that he has cut down, but I don't see that he has. We have had a very up and down relationship. He's very moody. He seems to start arguments out of nowhere. Sometimes he is open, honest and sweet after drinking, sometimes he's impossible. I don't know if it's his personality, or his drinking. I've never dated an alcoholic, so anyone with personal experience with this, I appreciate your replies and feedback. I care about him, but I don't think I can do this for much longer.

Answer 1

It sounds to me like he needs help. He may not necessarily be an alcoholic, but an alcohol abuser: just drinking for the sole purpose of getting drunk, in which case this is something that people just grow out of. I used to abuse alcohol and once he hits the harsh reality of how out of control his drinking is and that he might lose his girlfriend because of it, he will start to change. It's just a matter of when this will happen. If he's nice to you after a night of drinking, it's because he feels guilty and some part of him knows that he is wrong but feels he can't do anything about it. Keep putting forth effort in telling him how it makes you feel without turning it into an argument. Don't tell him you're contemplating breaking up with him because he will just feel scared and threatened, giving him more of a reason to drink. Trust me, you will know when you truly can't take it anymore and if you have faith in him and believe that things can get better, it's worth the effort. Whether you end up staying with him or not, you will learn and grow from this situation.

Answer 2

One of the hardest things to do is to be realistic about a situation when it involves someone you care deeply about. First, he still is an alcoholic. Second, there isn't much you can do about. If someone wants to change, the motivation comes from within. That doesn't mean we can't support someone who has an illness, just understand you on your own can't make him quit. Sit down and talk with him and see if he is willing to get help. If not, you have to decide on your own if the relationship is were keeping. Good luck.

Answer 3

WOW... I know first hand that you cant change him. The only way he will change is if he wants to change. It sounds alot like he is an alcoholic. But the very definition of alcholism is drinking to the point of the liquor interferring with your regular life. YOU ARE HIS regular life and unfortunately, the drinking is interferring with his relationship with you. My only suggestion is to leave him. Sometimes a guy just needs to know that he is going to lose something he values immensely to be able to get on the right path. And if he doesnt come crawling back, with a full on committment to change, then you can do better. Good luck

Answer 4

Then do not. it is that straightforward. Your husband is likely an alcoholic and may search out some counseling or attend an AA assembly. If he makes your existence depressing and is abusive both verbally or bodily perchance you should guage taking your little ones and transferring out till he makes a decision whats better substantial. You and the little ones or some beverages on the weekends. perchance you should opt for too. both he stops or you and the little ones are outta there. in case you want to larger comprehend what your dealing with, then perchance you should attend an Al-Anon assembly your self. examine it out a minimum of and observe if its something that you would possibly want to be attracted to doing for your self. let your husband take care of his own topics and also you take care of yours and the baby's. best of success, J

Answer 5

Girl, he's an alcoholic.. It's up to you to cut it off and walk away or suck it up and put up with it. He won't change. My man starts drinking at noon then by the time I get out of work he's wasted by 5pm... He's an alcoholic and I put up with it. It's great some days some days it's war....yet it's always the same. HE won't change.

Answer 6

Please turn around and run away before you get any further into this relationship. And make sure you don't make babies with him - don't make innocent souls suffer!