We've been together for a year, have been friends for over 5. We are in love and he makes me very happy, except he's a pothead. He functions like a normal person, he's very successful and ambitious. I've never asked him to quit, but he knows that I don't like it. It actually never bothered me until we got serious and started talking about marriage...I refuse to be married to a stoner. He knows it's a problem and he wants to quit. He has asked me to be patient in this matter and has asked for my help. I want to be there for him, but I don't want to waste my time either. Should I get out now, or should I be there for him?
2007-01-15 06:48:48 · 4 answers · asked by Ladybeth 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a hard one and no different than if he were a heavy drinker.
If his support system of friends are also all the same way, do not look for a change in the near future. Even if he tries to quit, his entire friend system is not quitting and he will feel out of place with his own friends and the pressure will be enormous.
When my husband quit drinking, he lost all the people that he thought were his friends, and that part was harder than the loss of the alcohol.
Basically, he would need a whole new support system of friends, and this is not easy.
Some groups that he could find a new friend system in would include support groups of former users of alcohol and drugs. Small churches also have the ability to offer new friends and supportive advice.
If he refuses or just cannot give up his using friends, you will have to learn to accept him the way he is if you want to continue to be with him.
2007-01-15 07:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes you happy and you've got to the point of talking about marriage it sounds like it could really work between you two. If you feel like the happiness you have with him is worth it stay with him, help him be a better man. It might take a while though its always hard for people like that to stop cold turkey.
2007-01-15 14:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by nitespector 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he honestly wants to quit he will, pot is not addictive like cigs. He asked for you help, so obviously he values you. I say stay and help him find other ways to relax.
2007-01-15 14:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by jennifer d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to church, maybe he'll see that its not good for you. And that your body is a temple and have to take care of it.
2007-01-15 14:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by melly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋