2007-01-15 06:46:28 · 22 answers · asked by tony t 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I would call a lawyer..they will give you a free consultation.....
I don't know if it legal but I would tell her that I wanted to watch the kids for a few hours at your house, take the kids and don't let her have them back. If she fought me I would call the cops..and DHS.......
2007-01-15 06:55:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have just cause to believe that she is putting the children in danger, is neglecting their basic care, or is causing them harm, you should call your local Social Services or Child Protective Services Department. If you can't find the phone numbers for these agencies, call your local police station, and they can direct your call. You can report the incidents you have witnessed, and they will conduct an investigation. If they feel that the harm to the children is of great concern, they will temporarily remove the children from the home until the mother can attend a court date to defend herself. I will warn you that the goal of the CPS is to keep families together, so they will try their best to rehabilitate the mother so that she can keep custody of her children. This is not a bad thing... your daughter will get the help she needs- just that it makes it difficult on the kids if they end up being passed back and forth between caregivers. As the grandparent, they will probably look to you first to care for the children, so let CPS know that you are willing to take on the responsibility. Also, before you call, you may want to write down pertinent information so that when asked, you have it right in front of you. Info you will want will include dates (round-about) when incidents occurred, what you witnessed (not hearsay- anything you heard from others, unless it is from the children themselves), and anything the children have told you that has happened to them. About 80% of calls to CPS are unfounded- that means that people call just to get back at someone or make their life miserable, and there really isn't anything going on. So, you have to make sure that you have real facts documented to be credible, because the first thing they will look at is your relationship with the mother to determine if these claims are founded or not. If you believe that your concerns are great enough to warrant a call to a protective agency, then CALL. The life of a child is not something to wait and see if the situation gets better... it always gets worse first. Don't "wait and see" if you feel these children are in imminent danger. Good luck!
2007-01-15 11:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodness, this is a VERY delicate situation. I would suggest speaking w/ your daughter, first. Nothing too harsh though b/c she may turn on you & harm the kids even more. You DEFINITELY must intervene, daughter or not... it is not acceptable to abuse a child. She obviously isn't herself & must get professional help. But you must be very careful. Grandparents, back in the day, were automatically given custody of kids w/o any hesitation. Nowadays, for some odd reason, grandparents do not have much say or pull when it comes to taking custody of their grandkids. Social services may take the kids away & place them w/ a temporary family. Our system works great but it has many, many flaws.
See a lawyer, get friends and family to help out. I wish you the best & hope & pray your grandchildren & daughter will be okay.
2007-01-16 00:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by njboricua78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know for a fact she's on drugs?
Can you prove she's hurting the children? (marks etc.)
Do not risk alienating her; if you make her mad, she could deny visitation, and then you won't be able to help them at all. If you bring the authorities down on her without sufficient proof, they'll send those kids right back to her.
Get her to leave the kids with you as much as possible. If she's on drugs and you offer to keep them, she won't turn you down. A free sitter is a good sitter, and she probably doesn't want to deal with them anyway.
Get a a lawyer; ask him about filing a petition for companionship visitation, being appointed an intervening third party, and a motion to move custody.
Email me if you wish. I'm not a lawyer or anything, but I've done a few rounds of family court, and was able to do a lot of my own paperwork.
Good luck to you and prayers to those little ones.
2007-01-15 07:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good you are the grand parent that helps. You have a right to take the children away from her if you wittness it first hand. Then call social services, and if you are wanting to keep them, usually they will let the grand parents keep them.
We had a simular case in our church and the grandparents were told that with so many kids in the foster system they would rather family take them if they can. You must always protect a child, but you do need to call police when you witness these things first hand so that they are present when you take the children.
2007-01-16 04:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Touchy, if you can show that you can provide a stable, loving, and healthy home as well as being able to keep the kids away from their mom if the court demands it, you can talk to Social Services about taking custody.
Calling Social Services will help the children, but it may hurt your daughter. You need to decide what is best. If you can convince her to give you the kids and go into treatment without CPS involvement, that would be best for everyone but I'm guessing you tried that.
If the kids are being hurt, you need to help them even if it means hurting your daughter and maybe never seeing her again.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that an easy and wonderful solution presents itself to you.
2007-01-15 06:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should call DHHS= Department of Health and Human Services..It is the hardest thing a parent had to do...You have to do this for the safety of the children...Here in Maine they do there best to keep the children in kinship care...I know this because I am a Foster Parent...The only time they keep children in foster care is when none of the family members want the children in their care...When you do call on her tell them that the children can go to you that is if you will take them... After you call the # a case worker will get hold of you and ask things that are or have happened..They will also ask if you will be willing to take the children...
IF YOU THINK THAT THE CHILDREN ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CALL YOU LOCAL POLICE STATION AND TELL THEM THE CHILDREN NEED HELP
2007-01-15 07:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by charmed4412 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your right as a grandmother to call CPS and turn your daught er in if you think she is hurting the children. You can tell them then if you will take those kids in or not. They will then determine if your home will work for them. If you cant take the kids then you have to decide if they will be better with strangers than with your daughter.
2007-01-15 08:19:53 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends most on where you live. I'd talk to an attorney who deals with family law. You can also call Children and Family Services anonymously. They can tell you. If you have just cause to do so and want to do this, see about getting at least temporary custody of your grandchildren, but what about their father? What is he doing about all this? He might want custody too and maybe you aught to consult with him. Good luck.
2007-01-15 06:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that before you get social services involved, you speak with your daughter about letting you take the kids (if that's what you want to do). Then you can encourage her to seek help. If she refuses to let the kids stay with you (either permanently or until/while she is seeking treatment), then forget about your rights, you have a responsability to your grandchildren to ensure that they are safe, so you'll need to call child protective services
Good luck
2007-01-15 06:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to report her to the dept of children services. I know that sounds harsh, but it is really just a way to help her. She needs tough love right now. If she finds out it was you that reported her, she will be mad for a while, but when she realizes why and the good that it did her she will come around. Good Luck
2007-01-15 06:52:36 · answer #11 · answered by justcurious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋