Okay - my boyfriend's brother is getting married next month - and I have been invited to all 3 showers for his fiance. My question is - do I get her something off of her registry and then also get a wedding gift?
I'm going to the Bachelorette Party as well and didn't know if I am supposed to bring something to that??
2007-01-15 06:45:47 · 11 answers · asked by JenMoo2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
As an update - my boyfriends family is divorced, which is causing me to go to atleast 2 of the parties. The 3rd is for her friends. I have to attend both family events as my boyfriends parents get a little fussy if they don't get enough attention.
2007-01-15 07:02:55 · update #1
Also - Only intended on getting one bridal gift.
2007-01-15 07:03:22 · update #2
I am sure that the intent of the invitations was to make sure that you did not feel left out of any of the festivities.
It is up to you as to how you would like to go about gift giving. Your boyfriend should be the one who buys the actual wedding gift with both your names on it as the givers.
Shower gifts can be one off the registry and then just simple little ones for the other showers. I am sure no one expects you to go broke giving major gifts at all three showers.
Bachelorette Party is another story. Contact the hostess of this event and ask her about the party and what is expected or not expected.
2007-01-15 06:53:53 · answer #1 · answered by cindy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you shouldn't have been invited to all 3 showers for her, because the purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. You must be very close to the family here, I'm assuming. You do not need to bring a gift to the bachelorette party. Technically, etiquette speaking, you are "supposed" to bring a gift to each shower (hence why you should only be invited to 1), as well as a wedding gift, since they are 2 separate "events" so to speak. In your case, you can do 1 of two things for the showers, either get 3 smaller gifts (or 1 that you can break apart into 3 separate gifts), or 1 "bigger" gift and tell the bride that's for all 3 showers. And then get them a wedding gift as well. Something off the registry is just fine, or even gift cards to the store she's registered at, then she can use those to get the stuff off the registry that she doesn't receive.
2007-01-15 06:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes usually you should bring a gift to the shower as well as the wedding. If you intend to go to more than shower you are only obligated to bring one gift. You may bring a card to the other shower(s) but you are under no obligation to purchase a gift for each shower.
A wedding gift should be brought to the wedding, but it should be from both you and your fiance, no need for separate gifts.
The bachelorette is tricky. Most parties are given by all the girls attending except the bride and the cost of the dinner/drinks/stripper etc are all split equally between the girls attending. I have never heard of arriving with a gift, unless its a bottle of liquor to be enjoyed during the night. But I suppose it would be ok to bring one, my concern is that if you bring one you might make the other girls feel strangely if you bring a gift and they dont. Check with the maid of honor or a bridesmaid, they will know the information and what your fincial duties will be, if any.
2007-01-15 07:35:20 · answer #3 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not proper of them to have invited you to all three showers. Don't they think you have a life? They should have invited you to one only.
In some regions, the shower and wedding gift are one, combined (medium to large) gift. In other regions of the country people choose to gift twice, but they tend to be two smaller gifts. It is your choice what you want to do.
If you choose to attend a shower, it is proper etiquette to bring along a physical gift (not $ or giftcard), even if it is small or handmade. No showing up "empty handed" at a shower.
Wedding gifts, however, are never mandatory, and are properly shipped to (or dropped off at) the bride or groom's home, before or after the wedding (do not bring it with you to the wedding or reception).
Gifts are not usually given at a bachelorette, unless they have combined it with a shower, which it sounds like they have not in this case.
2007-01-15 10:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wedding gift should be something off her registry.
For the showers, generally they have a 'theme' like laundry things, bathroom things, kitchen things, or some such. Just buy a more inexpensive item like a wicker basket with pegs and laundry detergent, or two pretty hand towels, or a plastic jug and tumblers for juice (for instance).
No gift is required for the bachelorette party.
(I must point out that I am in Australia and that's the way things have been done at all the wedding-type functions I've been to over the years.)
2007-01-15 22:26:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally you give her a gift for the Shower off the registry - just one thing :) You don't have to do all three!!
And Registry are wonderful- you getting the bride a gift you know she wants!
Then for the wedding you normally give $$$ in a card.
For the bachelorette Party- just ask what they are doing. Some do gag gifts or just ask for money like $20 per person to pay for the brides drinking and to get in the club.
2007-01-15 08:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to get something off the registry if you do not want but typically you give both a shower and wedding gift. I have always given money for the wedding and bought something off the registry for the shower.
You don't have to give a gift for the bachelorette.
2007-01-15 07:09:35 · answer #7 · answered by strtat2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One shower gift off the registry is fine, you and your boyfriend share in the expensive of the wedding gift (or hell, make him pay for it) and I would get her a bachlorette party gift. Something fun, like a nightie or if you too are close, a frame with you and her in it or make a Bachlorette party survival kit with gatorade, aspirin, eye cream, a barf bag, slippers, a pony tail holder - doesn't have to be expensive...it's really the thought that counts but I don't like showing up empty handed...
2007-01-15 07:16:40 · answer #8 · answered by MK 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get her one gift for the shower. You and your boyfriend should buy them something together for the wedding, actually ask your boyfriend he may actually take care of that on his own, as he might already have something in mind. Unless specified on the invite for the bachlorette party there shouldn't be any cost.
2007-01-15 07:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You only go to one shower, and take one gift for the shower. The wedding gift is separate.
2007-01-15 10:08:20 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋