how do i become more confident and build up self esteem about who i am?

Question

ok this is weird question.. i feel very awkward in social situations especially at college.. ok i wana be more confident and i wana have a better self esteem about myself but its so scary... i mean whever i try and show my personality they always end up lookin at me like i am a fool my councellor said i should try and be more trusting with people (dunno wat tht means) and tht i shoud try and be more open.. but i cant... am so scared theyre gona take the mik or sat something horrible about me for example 'oh tht quiet girl just spoke haha' and out of tht whoole collge av onli managed to make one frnd.. they always seem to not wana hang around with me.. i hate myself, i mean every1 else seems to be spo outgoing and proud of whothey are but me, av bin seein a councellor but i dnt think its gona work.. i mean everytime i manage to win over a fear a second one comes and takes over then when i combat that 1 another comes and takes over... help plz..

Answer 1

Just be yourself, that`s all you can do.
Find something you like to do and do it. Have fun and enjoy life.
Get to know yourself, who you are, what you want and stuff like that. Be proud of who you are and other people will be to.

Good Luck :-)
Hope all your dreams come true.

Answer 2

You are who you are. We are all unique and even the most outgoing people probably have something that makes them doubt themselves. What are your interests? If you do what interests you, you will find others that have the same interest. Have you ever heard the saying, "birds of a feather flock together"? I think that can mean that people who have the same interests can gravitate to each other and become friends. If I'm around someone who is a real football fan, I have nothing to say because I don't have any interest in football, but I do have an interest in MMA and if I find someone else who enjoys it, I can go on and on with a conversation. If you like music, find someone else who likes music. It is ok to be quiet if you aren't interested in something or don't have any knowlege about the subject. Keep up with current events even if it is online. Read newspapers and magazines also. The more you know (even if it's trivia) the more apt you are to be able to make a comment or enter into a conversation. Also, ask questions of people. It makes them feel good to be able to share something they know. Don't let anyone demean you or make fun of you for being quiet or introverted. People treat you however you let them. You said you had one friend. That is great. One friend is enough to have fun with. When you two go out together, you have each other and are bound to run into other people who might also want to join you. There is strength in numbers and a person who has a friend is blessed. Be yourself and be glad for how God made you. He doesn't make mistakes.

Answer 3

It's good that you are in counseling. It's possible that the reason you think it wont work for you is because you're with the wrong counselor. The right counselor will be one who you can be comfortable with, comfortable enough to tell your deepest secrets without fear of rejection. I'm sure the counselor has pointed out to you though that the reason you're so insecure is because you don't like yourself. I don't know why you don't but it's a deep issue that you need to work on. My suggestion is that you focus on becoming your own best friend. It just takes time. Don't worry about what others say or think. Your real friends will stand by you and besides, who wants to be accepted by people who are so low on their self esteem that they have to act out immaturely and make fun of others? And, if they do laugh because of something you said or did, learn to find your own humor in it and laugh at yourself. This is your life, try to make the most of it. Feel the way you want to feel, head in the direction you want to head, physically, emotionally, mentally. Your life is all about you. Stick with the counseling and put your 100% into it. It will help you if you let it. If the counselor you're with makes you feel uncomfortable for ANY reason, find another one. Eventually you will find one who's just right for you. Chin up girlfriend. It's not impossible to change yourself. Takes a lot of thought and effort, but you can do it. You have a responsibility to yourself to allow yourself to blossom and see just how beautiful you really are.

Answer 4

Well, you may not like this answer, but what I suggest is to look at others. I have a simular situation where my self esteem and confidence are pretty low. When I feel the best about myself is when I try and help others and especially when I count the blessings (my health, my family, my church) in my life and see there are many who don't have those things. Then the focus is not on me and I'm not thinking about my short comings. Life is not an easy road. But, I'm sure you are a wonderful person with much to give. Try it and also remember you are never truly alone .
God Bless

Answer 5

It's all about the fun at first place. Don't be so hard on yourself - the more you're pushing yourself, the more scared you'll feel. If you don't feel comfortable talking to certain people at school - there are so many other places. You can join a course, fitness or whatever you like. This way - 1) you'll have good time developing something you like and 2) you'll meet people interested in the same things as you are
Good luck ;)

Answer 6

a thank you to construct self assurance is a step by step technique. self assurance is a concept in your self which you will accomplish issues. So initiate reaching issues. yet initiate small. Run some hundred yards. sparkling out your table. carry out a little pushups. every time you place a job in front of you and you finished it, you will experience greater constructive. Then, initiate raising the bar. yet understand, you heavily isn't waiting to end each thing. Be arranged to fail and notice failure as only one greater step to attending to the wanted action. As you finished harder projects and experience some mess ups, yet recuperate and shop going, you will build greater self assurance. finally, get comments from others. teach them what you're doing. Do projects with them. while human beings initiate congratulating you on ending up projects, you will experience greater constructive. I suffered from low self assurance and then i began a company that went ok. It exchange into an incredible self assurance booster for me that has caught with me continually..... not something comes ordinary in existence...yet luckily, sometimes the answer is relatively uncomplicated.....

Answer 7

Well, self esteem is actually easy to get. I used to be in a similar situation. Then I just started out fishing for compliments from my friends. I had them repeat them (unknowingly, of course) until the compliments became lodged in my brain. After that, I just starting thinking that this is who I am and that's all I've got. You have to learn to love yourself if you ever want anyone to love you. Just remember that you are what and who you are. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. There are people out there that are dying to be your friend, they just don't know it yet. And how will they if you don't open up? Nothing anyone says about you can kill you. Keep your head high and you will overcome.

Answer 8

Hello,

You might wanna think about it this way: What really makes anyone else better or happier than you? They might seem happier, but the fact is, everyone has self-doubt and views themselves in a critical way.

To build my self esteem, I typically do two things:

First, I write down all of the positive attributes about myself. Everyone can do something better than someone else. Write down the things that legitimately make you happy. Put this list next to your computer.

Second, figure out your sources of stress and sadness. Write those out as well, and figure out how you can eliminate these from your life.

It sounds simple, but it worked for me.

Answer 9

write on your bathroom mirror "I LOVE MYSELF". say it everytime you see it. you will start your day feeling better.

life is full of risks and chances...we have to learn to fall in order to learn how to get back up.

give yourself a chance and take a class on something you like to do, you will immediately have something in common with the 'classmates'.

make a list of all your good/great qualities. carry it with you. when you are feeling unsure of yourself, take out the list and read it.

start with just one friend and go from there. it's easier to make one friend than a bunch at once. then nuture that friendship and you will meet their friends and pretty soon you will have a bunch of friends. give it time.

stop trying to 'show' your personality and just be yourself.

overcoming fears is part of an ongoing growing process. you will learn something from each and every fear.

continue with counseling even if it doesn't make sense to you right now...it will as time goes by.

NEVER GIVE UP!

Answer 10

I'm puzzled why you think so lowly of yourself. One thing you should know is that you are over reacting to people. Really, they are not that into you. Now, that sounds cruel... but really, it's not all about you. Your college buddies have so many other things and people on their minds. Fears.... heck yes, we all have them!! Yes, show your personality... who Else's would you show. Girlfriend, lighten up for just one day. Go through that day thinking about college and not what other people are thinking about you.... because they aren't thinking anything at all!Every day is not some sort of test. Lighten up and learn to laugh at yourself. That is one sure sign of confidence. You seem to believe they are really critiquing you. They aren't. You don't need to try to be anything except yourself.