Im about to be 17, and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have had break ups before, but this was nearly 2 years ago, we fell in love with eachother and he has moved 2 hours away (back in september) and we talk on the phone every night and see eachother every 2 weeks for a whole weekend, and it's been working well for the last 4 months, but recently it hasn't been as sparky as it was a month ago, I know I still love him and care about him, and I saw him this weekend and although I enjoyed my time with him and had nice chats, it wasn't the same as such. I can't imagine being without him, and I don't want to be with anyone else, but at the moment it feels as if he's a bit more into me than me into him, and occassionally little things about him irritate me,I don't want to be without him, I just want to work it out and it to be the same as it was, but I don't like me getting irritated by him at times or feeling as if the spark is going. Is it normal to have this phase?
2007-01-15 06:17:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let me tell you this! I was having the same issue not too long ago! I'm 19 btw...
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We have gone through a few phases where I thought our relationship was done, when really it was just a phase. At 6 months, we didn't talk as much and I thought he wasn't as interested in me anymore. Got through it.
At 1 year, for the first time EVER I felt that he didn't want to be with my anymore. Our relationship was so awkward for about a week. I thought it would never be the same between us and I was so depressed that I didn't show up for work one day. Guess what? We got through it.
Relationships go through immense changes and phases through out the years, but you will make it through if you truly love each other.
2007-01-15 06:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by :-) 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say, not knowing either you or him, but it could very well be a phase. In most long term relationships feelings shift a bit over time, and sometimes couples even go through a period when they can't stand the other person's annoying little habits or "flaws" etc... If you hang in there through this phase it may go away, and if it doesn't, then you're probably getting ready to move on. The initial spark in any relationship mellows out over time (bummer) and that's perfectly normal because it's usually replaced with a more mature, richer type of relationship - the kind that could quite possibly endure over time. Even then - while the fire isn't as hot as it was in the beginning, it will still get pretty hot, just not on as constant of a basis :)
2007-01-15 06:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I study at an all girls school and many of my schoolmates are into g2g relationships. I think it's because there are no boys in our school or they find more comfortable having a relationship with a girl rather than a boy. It's like saying that girls and guys know more about the person who has the same sex as they have. But it can also be just a phase change based from my schoolmate's experience when she went to college and started dating with a guy. You still have to know yourself first. If you think that your gay then you are gay. But if you're not sure yet then that means that you like girls so there might be a possibility that you might change. By the way it's not genetic
2016-05-24 07:07:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. Sometimes, even though you still truly love a person, the passion (or spark) dies down. Passion is not something that is automatically there. When you've been together for a long time, you need to work at it. Especially when you're both overloaded with school, work or both. But don't worry, if you both want it to work. The spark will come back. It's just something that comes and goes.
2007-01-15 06:25:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like the you're passed the "honeymoon" stage. Distance or no distance. We've all been there and done that. It's a normal process of dating. I've been seeing someone myself and in a relationship and the honeymoon stage is starting to pass. We all have our quirks. I would talk about it with him. See what he says and how he feels. In my relationship; communication as been the key and it's the best thing to have! I can't imagine being without mine either and it's been six months now. It's not a long, long time; but enough time to know if you want to be in it for the long haul =)
2007-01-15 06:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT may just be that you two have grown up and grown apart. It is hard to have a longterm boyfriend in highschool and then afterwards simply because there are so many different experiances you two will have.
I hate to say this, but it will never be the same as it was until you two are living under the same conditions. Good luck with everything, it could very well just be a normal phase :)
2007-01-15 06:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is pretty normal in long term relationships.. you may want to start doing new things with him and remind yourself why you love him and just him. It is normal for little things to irritate you about him.. that is normal. They are called pet peeves, and in a loving relationship you learn to put them past you. Good relationships are meant to be worked out no matter how young you are. You may want to try what I said above or take a short break see other people then see how you feel. In the end if you meant to be with him, you will be OK.
2007-01-15 06:25:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that the technical term for this is a "rut" and it happens to everyone, especially after long relationships. It's good that he's still into you. You're probably feeling stressed by the long distance part of the relationship. Rather than try to recreate what used to be, allow change to happen because relationships need to grow. You two are in a different place (literally & figuratively) than when you started out. Accept it, and learn to enjoy it as it is.
2007-01-15 06:25:25 · answer #8 · answered by Meagan M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
things will never go back to the way they were, your relationship is just changing. Maybe you'll decide that you just aren't right for each other anymore. Doesn't mean you don't love him anymore. Maybe you aren't IN love with him anymore. Maybe you'll decide to break up with him, before things get worse and you end up cheating on him or something. End the relationship b4 it gets bad, I think. OR you can get through this phase and get used to your new relationship with each other, after the spark has kinda died down. just remember the old saying about there being other fish in the sea, it's true.
2007-01-15 06:25:34 · answer #9 · answered by Estelle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a normal phase yes, but not for a healthy relationship.
This is a normal phase for when you slowly lose attraction for him and wind up separating for good. That it doesn't feel the same and you don't feel as into him are rather common signs of this decline and eventual breakup.
2007-01-15 06:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by Mike K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋