I need sum advice, my son is 4 yrs old and wont sleep in his own room. He keeps saying hes scared, plus hes in a route of going to bed at half 7 every nite. But once hes fallen a sleep and i go down stairs im constantly going up cos hes crying. Is there any1 else who has the same problem as me. I just dont no wat to do plz help!!
2007-01-15 06:06:04 · 10 answers · asked by sky_danni06 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Okay. You need to be firm on this one.
A good idea is to buy him a superhero bear or toy and tell him it will look after him and then tell him the NEW bed routine :
Tell him that you will read to him and then he must not cry. Tell him you will leave his light on low for him. Leave a little drink for him.
If he cries, check him without him seeing you. Make sure he's okay.
You will find that if you leave him to cry....he will cry for quite some time. Be prepared 'cos it will tug on your heart strings.
It is hard not to go back up as sometimes the crying really gets to a parent and you feel mean but, he learns that if he cries for long enough YOU WILL come back up. Now he needs to unlearn this.
After a few nights of this, if you are very consistent, he should realise and you'll be able to relax.
I hope that helps a little.
2007-01-15 06:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every time you go there and see whats wrong, it is embedded in his head that all he needs to do is cry, and you will come.
Be firm and repetitive with a system: Each night, you should provide him with everything he needs so he has no reason to leave his room. install a night light, give him a glass of water, and frame a few family photos for comfort.
For the first few nights when he cries, simply go to his room, assure him that youre in the next room and that it is bedtime, not playtime. Try to do this only twice per night max. Once he knows that youre not going to come to his every cry, he will eventually stop.
If that doesnt work, you can sit by his bedside, without contact, until he falls asleep. Every night, start sitting closer to the door and eventually he will sleep undisturbed.
2007-01-15 06:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by valerie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he knows that, if he cries, you'll come.
First, to help with the being scared: get him a nightlight, if he doesn't have one already. Talk to him about how it's not scary, and ask him to explain his fears to you.
Second, when he wakes up just put him back in bed. Don't hold him, talk to him, or do anything else that he would find rewarding, because this will reinforce the behavior. You might have to be strong for a few nights but when he realizes that he won't get your company or your time for crying, he'll give up on it.
I'm sorry you're having this problem. I hope it works itself out soon.
2007-01-15 06:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why he keeps waking up, but he certainly needs to learn how to self-soothe. Stop going to him every time he cries. He's old enough to know that you are in the house if something is really wrong but you going in as soon as he starts to cry is probably exacerbating the issue. If he gets up out of bed, put him back in without conversing with him, otherwise just leave him alone.
2007-01-15 06:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my daughter doesn't like sleepign in her own room either. I like to show compassion but be firm. She has a bright night light. She has music. And she can take a pet with her to bed to 'protect' her... Then, if she comes out, I tell her that if she comes out one more time, that I will take a toy away... she can lay in her bed quietly and pet the dog or whatever... but I don't want her out. I usually give the toy threat after 3 times up... the first three times up are usually for a swallow of water.. to go pee.. or to ask if she can read a book cause she is not tired... after a few times out of her room, she gets the 'don't come out again or I am taking a toy away...' and I do.. consisteny and predictiblity is the key
2007-01-15 06:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is this neat little nite light,kinda looks like a small disco ball.It lights up nicely and helped when one of my kids went through that fraidy stage.I found it at target for around 8 dollars.Maybe you could try it.Good Luck!
2007-01-15 06:19:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dylan aka Dilly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like night terrors, often happens around this age and especially with boys. Comfort him and be consistant with putting him back to bed each time. Make sure he wakes completely up, sometimes that helps. Consult your ped. to see if you should get a psych eval. They may be able to give you tips to help you both. It passes....good luck.
2007-01-15 07:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by nic_tammyscott 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get him to tell you what he is afraid of. my son did this for a few nights and then finally told me he was afraid of the embroidered snake (from a jungle theme) on his pillow case... he said it was biting his neck. as soon as i changed the pillow case, he started sleeping fine.
2007-01-15 06:15:03 · answer #8 · answered by ♥sweet♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say that you are the problem. Stop reacting to the tears and they will stop. Make sure you are not too strict but always respond firmly and lovingly.
2007-01-15 06:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
leave an upstairs light on sit with him till he falls asleep and keep checking on him so he no's your there
2007-01-15 06:15:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋