I am an 18 years old girl in India and have a boyfriend for a year now. My parents are conservative so I did not tell them about him. However, I am 1 month pregnant now. My boyfriend who has been on a business trip promises to marry me as soon as he returns. However, I do not know how to tell my parents i'm getting married without their concent. Please advice me on what course of action I should take.
2007-01-15 05:51:02 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I've been with my bf for 3 years. Though he is nice, and well settled (he is 25 and working), he belongs to a different community as well....
My parents are conservative ....even if they know that i'm seeing someone they wont be able to take it...leave alone getting married to someone from a different community... this is what makes it more difficult....
2007-01-15 06:03:45 · update #1
I'm in std 12 (HSC) and my parents expect me to finish studies...
2007-01-15 06:05:13 · update #2
I've known him for 3 years and we got involved a year ago...he'll be returning next month and says we'll marry immediately
2007-01-15 06:15:36 · update #3
all this wasn't planned - it just happened
2007-01-15 06:16:47 · update #4
JUST TELL THEM.
2007-01-16 19:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I noticed your not referring to your guy as your fiance. Has he made it official by asking? That's the first step to announcing your engagement, you gotta be engaged first. So, if you're not than don't stress yourself or your parents out by dealing w/ something premature. It says a lot about your maturity & the quality of the man if he is present when you announce the news to your parents. I know that he is out of the country but igf you're in a relationship he's going to be w/ you sometime & when he is you should have a sit down w/ your parents together. If you go at it alone it will appear that he is cowardly. So be patient & deal w/ it as it comes. Have all your ducks in a row, your parents may not like your decision to marry so young but they'll feel better about it if you & your guy have some kind of plan for your future that include details. How long will you be engaged. How are you going to pay for the wedding? How are you going to pay for college (when you marry parents stop being responsible for that kind of stuff because you are doing adult things & your husband should be supporting/helping you)? Good luck!
2016-05-24 07:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well aside from taking proper care of your new condition, I would possibly try to get your future husband together with your parents and have him ask for your hand. Stating that while you realize that it is not the future they planned for you, it is what you feel God has blessed. Let them know you Love them & hopefully have your Beau express his love for you & respect for them leaving a bridge for them to cross.
Know that while they may react poorly and create a gap you must do what is right for you, and hopefully they will learn tolerance, remember their vow to you as their child and keep you close.
I would hold off on the baby news until you are married or you are further along 2nd trimester, as the stress during this time will be great and too explosive of a topic. I hope he returns soon and will do right by you and your new family, as you will need the support while your Family deals with the culture shock. But just remember while you were born into that culture - God has many plans for us...do what is best for you.
2007-01-21 06:46:38 · answer #3 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no answer available that will make any of it easier. The fact of the matter is that you have a time limit girl! Be upfront and honest with your parents about it. DON'T sugar coat it! The more straight forward you are about it, the more "grown up" your parents will view you. They'll appreciate your aproach. Though there is no guarantee that they'll take it well, the odds of them getting over it sooner will be greater. I, personally, would tell them by myself. There's no need to bring your fiance into it until you're ready to deal with your parents and him at the same time. I'm not saying to hide what happens from your fiance. Just remember, you have only a short few months.
2007-01-22 04:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by ionwheels03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you parents belived you so much. You really gonna hurt them more. I don;t want to give you negative ways. But i want you to think this. What will happen if that guy just escapes? And it is you and your parents gonna suffer. I would say better tell you parents the truth now itself. Otherwise it will be more serious if that guy cheated you. How can you belive him , just in 3 years?
There are soo many person who known you from childhood cheats you and hurt you. How can you belive him just in 3 years.
It only shows how much you love him so blindly. If he marries you, sure he loves you a lot.
Best tell your parents the truth and before that get all his home, office address and conform that it is his home and it is where he works and tell your parents atonce. So that they can make arrangements. If you have any love letters or any proof, have it with you. Don;t burn or throw it away,never give it to anyone(keep it just with you, not even to your parents, since in angry, there is a chance to tear the proof by mistake.) IF suppose he cheats you. You can show the proof to his parents or law and make him understand that you are not a fool.( sorry to say fool here. not intend to hurt, He might have thought, if he plans to cheat you.)
So take immediate action more than his words.I wish you to have a good life. Don't delay. Since you say one month pregnant, take immediate actions.
2007-01-21 19:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Mayandi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have made your choice already. So, that´s the most important thing.
If you are afraid of the reaction of your parents and you think they could turn out violently on you or force you to get rid of your baby, then keep th secret with you and wait till your boy friend returns and move out quickly, marry and tell them afterwards. In such a situation you have to protect yours and your unborn child's health first.
If the situation isn´t that drastic, I also would suggest to wait till your boy friend returns and tell your parents together with him about your baby and the wedding...
It´s a hard situation but you´re together with that guy quiet a long time, so I´m sure that you both will raise a happy family together.
One more thing: Normally parents love their children and want to protect them from any harm. So I hope that your parents are not religious fanatics who would kill their daughter (honour killing is very common in some Muslim societies) - in that case: Back your bags and run away as far as you can with your boy friend...
Well, I hope that isn´t your case, so, normally parents are willing to accept a new situation like yours and try to make the best out of it...
2007-01-15 06:44:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you gotta find the right moment, like when you are all in a happy mood or the topic of marriage comes up (If it doesnt within a week then work up the courage and tell them straight of...expect anger and consequences....)
Then tell them about yur bf - good qualities only and tell them you didnt think they'd mind if they sound surprised.
DO NOT BRING UP THE FACT THAT YOUR PREGNANT...leave that for last..
Tell them you wish to marry him and need their consent.
However I would just like to sday that you are 18 and maybe you should rethink the marriage thing. I know finding out you are pregnant may have pressurized you to get married but think twice - is he really the 'one'???
Make sure you stay calm at all times and dont retort or answer back. Just listen quietly to them even if they are screaming at you at the top of their voices ...STAY CALM.
Good Luck!!! :)
2007-01-15 06:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by Lynne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that it is too late for you to decide,since you are one month into pregnancy,what are you waiting for? Will the society spare you from abuses or can you hide this pregnancy?The best way is to confide in your parents as they would be your best and safe support,even if they are annoyed and shocked. Also keep a track of your boyfriend,as he is the culprit for this mess.Could he not have used his common sense and used a protective measure for a safe sex?I think he is just a pleasure lover. Your parents will digest this bitter truth with a pinch of salt but what about your boyfriend's reaction?.Is he taking the responsibility?You better watch.Best of luck.
2007-01-15 07:53:05 · answer #8 · answered by man_g_roy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, make yourself strong to face any situation that you might have to encounter. How did your boyfriend reacted when you told him about your pregnancy.Will his parents accept you?
You have whole life in front of you, probably you are not mature enough to take the right decision. Getting married without your parents consent will never keep you happy, & even if you manage to stay happy, life for your parents will be like a hell after that, they will have to face the society. Our parents who spend their life in bringing us up do not deserve this.
Be strong, have trust in your parents & tell them whatever has happened, they will be shocked for sometime, they may react in a way which you won't like, but you have to stay calm & respect the desion they take for you.
Moreover, if your boyfriend really loves you, he will do everything to convince your & his parents for your marriage, If he backs out or gives you excuses, then he does not deserve your love.Ultimately, its your parents who will stand by you.
Remember, marrying against their consent, you will spoil your life.Ask yourself if you will be able to go back to school, will your friends & teachers accept you.what will you do for the rest of your life? Instead of getting upset & making a hasty decision, relax & find a good time to talk to your parents, without much delay.Believe me parents are the best friends you can ever have,they always love you and want to see you happy.
2007-01-15 07:05:28 · answer #9 · answered by well wisher 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult now...although your parents will be devasted you need to let them know your plans. It would be best for you and your boyfriend to meet with your parents. This may give them a little consulation that you & your boyfriend are stepping up to the plate and you're taken responsibility for your actions. Maintain your stance because the reality is... it is what it is and do not deal with what should've happen. The future is before you and your boyfriend be strong a make decision that going to be the best for you, boyfriend and baby to be. God Bless
2007-01-19 21:19:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl r u out of ur mind or somethin?? 18 yrs is the age 2 study well, build up a career & make ur parents' feel proud. ur too young 2 take such big decison called "marriage" coz marriage is not a joke n on top of this u r pregnant now...but r u sure that this guy who u love will definately marry u?? 1st make sure abt ur guy, then tell ur parents' very tactfully...if u both really love each other then there should'nt b a prob. gud luck
2007-01-15 23:21:25 · answer #11 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋