how do i become more confident? and have a better self esteem when its so scary to..?

Question

ok this is weird question.. i feel very awkward in social situations especially at college.. ok i wana be more confident and i wana have a better self esteem about myself but its so scary... i mean whever i try and show my personality they always end up lookin at me like i am a fool my councellor said i should try and be more trusting with people (dunno wat tht means) and tht i shoud try and be more open.. but i cant... am so scared theyre gona take the mik or sat something horrible about me for example 'oh tht quiet girl just spoke haha' and out of tht whoole collge av onli managed to make one frnd.. they always seem to not wana hang around with me.. i hate myself, i mean every1 else seems to be spo outgoing and proud of whothey are but me, av bin seein a councellor but i dnt think its gona work.. i mean everytime i manage to win over a fear a second one comes and takes over then when i combat that 1 another comes and takes over... help plz..

Answer 1

This stirred something in me when I read it. I mean, I wouldn't say I exactly have the same problem, but I do tend to feel alone in college, and all the friends I have are kind of superficial, so I can't really talk to them about it. I have thought about what I can do to make more friends or even find a "more than friend". I thought about joining clubs, talking to people in my classes and even going to frats (i know, that's desperate). I've decided to join a club, even though why workload is heavy. Maybe then I can find people with the same interests as me. Back in high school I didn't like to talk at all, I was known as that geek in the corner. But somehow I heard a conversation I knew something about, so I made a comment and they responded. Not with disgust or suprise, but like I had been talking to them all along. I found that people are mostly good, and they will try to include you. So that's why I'm not so discouraged, I'm just thinking about what I can do. I hope this doesn't seem like I am giving advice without knowing your circumstances, but if possible, join a club you like. Maybe around people with the same interests as you, you can open up more. When you talk and you know what you are talking about, that should build up your self-confidence. If this doesn't help, just at least know that other people have felt the same way, and it won't always be like this.

Answer 2

Katie...what you are struggling with we all struggle with in some form or another. It is a form of stage fright, only the stage is social situations....we usually talk ourselves into the worst scenarios, so we need to do the same in reverse..we need to do positive self talk... and with that we need to worry more about what you think and less about what others think. Also it is best to make a few close friends and widen our circle from there... truth is not many of us are very good in crowds...and the last piece of advice... you will never see these people again after college so go wild abit.. just a bit...

Answer 3

you're who you're. we are all unique or maybe the most outgoing people likely have some thing that makes them doubt themselves. What are your pastimes? in case you do what pastimes you, you'll locate others which have an same pastime. have you ever heard the saying, "birds of a feather flock jointly"? i imagine that would advise that those who've an same pastimes can gravitate to at least one yet another and grow to be pals. If i'm round someone who's a authentic football fan, I truly haven't any further some thing to assert because i have not any pastime in football, yet I do have an pastime in MMA and if i locate somebody else who enjoys it, i will bypass on and on with a communique. in case you want music, locate somebody else who likes music. that's okay to be quiet in case you're not any further attracted to at least some thing or haven't any knowlege about the concern. stay alongside of modern-day activities even even if that's on line. examine newspapers and magazines also. The more suitable you recognize (regardless of if it truly is trivialities) the more suitable apt you're to be able to make a remark or enter right into a communique. also, ask questions of people. It makes them sense good to be able to share some thing they recognize. do not enable all and sundry demean you or make relaxing of you for being quiet or introverted. people manage you notwithstanding you enable them. You reported you had one pal. it truly is large. One pal is sufficient to have relaxing with. once you 2 bypass out jointly, you've one yet another and are absolute to run into those who would also favor to hitch you. there is capacity in numbers and someone who has a pal is blessed. Be your self and be happy for the way God made you. He would not make blunders.

Answer 4

first off take care of yourself first before you even begin to care about what others think, go get glammed up or try doing something that you are afraid to try force yourself to get to know you there is nothing wrong with being quiet, but use what powers you do have to make yourself known. invite yourself to any and everything make your own personal life enjoyable and that will exude more confidence but get it from within because you cannot rely on others to fill in the blanks for you good luck

Answer 5

I know what you're going through. I'm the same way. I say to myself, "just talk to people." BE MYSELF. What's the worst that can happen?

Answer 6

hmm try this it might me hard for you....but just be your self when ur with friends(i know u had/have friends) and dont give a rats *** what ppl think about you....cause thats what's wrong with us we care what ppl think about us....im sure ur a cool girl so just let every one know it and act ur self. talk to ppl.

Answer 7

SORRY, I DON´T SPEEK ENGLISH WELL.