I think I've made a terrible mistake. I'm going through a divorce and when an old friend (who made no secret of his attraction for me) called out of the blue and suggested a meet, I didn't say no.
Well, we've been "meeting" now fairly regularly, I thought the idea was to keep it casual. Well, he slipped, and whispered that he loved me. Yes I knew of the attraction thing, but I didn't think love was a part of the equation. He's such the happy player type. But now he's got the whole can't consentrate, can't sleep thing going on...this concerns me because this was how I was with my husband. I'm not capable of loving my friend this way, not now, maybe not ever. I don't want to hurt my friend, and I don't want to lose him. What do I do? No longer meet? What?
2007-01-15 05:29:44 · 11 answers · asked by amyaliceco 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Getting hooked up with a friend is the BEST in the world I married my BEST FRIEND and I LOVE her with all of my heart we have now been Married 5 years and she is my everything still BEST Friend and still the one I LOVE the BEST and we have a bond that not many have that I can see with others I look in her eyes I know how she feels and all I really do is think of her all the time but she may not know that but she really is my everything! So yeah if it really is Besty Friend type go for it!
2007-01-15 05:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by randd721 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important that you lay it on the line here. He can't help that he feels the way he does, but you can't help that you don't share those feelings as well. Tell him how much you value his friendship and that he has been there for you during this difficult time in your life, but that right now you can't even think about a romantic relationship with anyone. Make sure he understands how much you treasure his friendship, but that it isn't fair to him if you say nothing while he continues to develop stronger feelings. If you do it right, you can retain your friend and not break his heart.
However, don't dismiss the possibility that over time you may start to feel something yourself. Sometimes our best relationships have to blossom over time and through adversity. Good luck to you.
2007-01-15 05:37:56 · answer #2 · answered by McB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are still married...you shouldn't even be meeting this man...you should wait until after you divorce out of respect for your marriage vows and the promise you made to God about keeping your wedding vows...even if your husband is a cheater, you should be the "Tall Pine on the Hill" and honour your precious wedding vows...Please Do The Right Thing...!
2007-01-15 05:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by SunShine 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that you need time to learn who you are after the divorce and that you appreciate his friendship but need to have some time by yourself before you get involved with anyone again. You may be tempted to get into another relationship after the divorce is final and perhaps he may then be the one you chose but you do need to have some time as an ex wife before getting into another serious relationship.
2007-01-15 05:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the friendship matters to you, you have to stop "meeting" and tell him that you do not feel that way about him and that you want to be friends. Nothing but honesty will do here.
If it doesn't matter to you how he feels as long as you get what you want, you can keep going on like you are.
2007-01-15 05:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by BelleDandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him you don't feel the same way for him, but you would love to stay friends. He might be a little hurt but it's better to tell him than to give him false hope. Good Luck Girl! :)
2007-01-15 05:33:09 · answer #6 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont let it go any farther, tell him that you dont feel the same, that you would like to remain friends, but at this time in your life you are not ready for more, it is not fair to him to lead him on
2007-01-15 05:33:13 · answer #7 · answered by reshadow31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the ball in his court and ask him if you can just be friends , then if he can't accept that you will have to choose. Good luck with this !
2007-01-15 05:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No reason you should not be able to grow to love him..
You husband should be your lover, best friend and companion
through lifes journey...
You cannot be "just friends" with this or any other man...
2007-01-15 05:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell him how you feel and explain what you are going through. And if he is willing to deal with this then your relationship can continue, but if not................he knows how you feel and can move on.
2007-01-15 05:34:31 · answer #10 · answered by MsCantBeWrong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋