Hey. I use to be really really shy. especially with woman. For the past few years though, just turned 21 this december, i've definatly gotten rid of the shyness. Problem is though, I havent really been on a date or anything since my first and only love which was about 5 or 6 years ago. I've seen a few girls since than but wasnt anything I would call a gf or a relationship for that matter. Just a couple of waist of timers really except for one. Now that im 21 though, I find it hard to tell if I actually like someone or if i'm just trying to be with anyone. On top of all this im a virgin (yea I know never thought they still existed). I know I can get some *** but im not the type to go sleepin around or a one night stand. Rather have a relationship. Question is, u think I screwed myself on being able to actually know if I love someone since I havent given anyone a chance?
2007-01-15 05:20:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
nope..best advice for you...is stop looking..and def. stop worrying..the second you stop looking and worrying and reading between the lines of every girl you talk to....you will fall in love...love is not questionable..its not a ...erm..hmm..am I in love...its an..O SHYT...IM IN LOVE. kinda feeling lol..good luck...and I commend you on still being a virgin and having morals...very few still do.
2007-01-15 05:27:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well love is all about giving chances. the only way u can find love and hold onto it is if u go out and meet people, u sound like u feel old already and u dont want to go out or u have very little time! ur still 21 are u still in college?? well if u want to make ur love life work then u just need to go out and meet people, u cannot be shy in this society, u will miss out on lots of things! and u dont find many 21 yr olds still virgins! maybe a girl will respect u for that and give u a chance!
2007-01-15 13:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by Daisy! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously you have to give someone the chance, just try not to fall head over heels in love with the person right away to prevent being hurt. The right girl has to be out there somewhere, you will know when you meet her! Good luck! i ususally also believe that if someone (or something) seems to good to be true, they are fake and putting on an act, everyone has some type of flaw
2007-01-15 13:28:31 · answer #3 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think not.
You've reached the age where EVERYTHING starts making more sense. Your hormones are no longer raging and all your decisions are based on logical thinking and you can see further into the future and see the consequences your decisions make.
I have to say that I'm SOO happy to hear that you are a virgin, because men like that are SO hard to find and when you finally get married and you marry a girl that has never been with someone...that wedding night will be truly special for both of you. One that you will never forget. I've been married two years and my husband and I were both virgins at 23 when we married.
I think you're at the perfect age now to judge a girl for relationship material or if she's a waste of time. Because you are now capable of having more mature relationships, they won't last a couple of weeks or months...they can last for years. Dating in your 20s is much different than in your teens.
You'll find that you will have more realistic relationships with her, and you will interact more with her friends, and her family. All this is a great set up for maybe consider a long-term relationship and getting married.
If you feel you want to go out, go out with a girl. If you find your interests match hers and you'd like to get to know her...eventually you'll see if you just like her companionship or you'll find if you have "feelings" towards her where you want to be romantic with her.
You'll just need to go out for the sake of going out with a girl and finding that difference. Get more experience, go out with a girl for different reasons:
1. She's pretty
2. She's smart
3. She's skinny
4. She's short
...and so on...
Eventually you'll find what is attractive to you and you'll date for a purpose and you'll fall in love with what you've learned to like from all these different girls...you'll eventually find the perfect girl and maybe marry her, but most importantly...you'll be able to distinguish what is not clear for you right now.
2007-01-15 13:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by Querida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are just inexperienced.
Getting rid of the shyness is one thing, but just like anything else, you need a plan and a goal.
Whats your plan and whats your goal?
Getting laid? Getting a "girlfriend", or what?
At 21 I would advise against trying to get a long term "girlfriend" and just work on your game. Heres a link: bristollair.com
That will help you focus. Check out the "truth about women" on the right of the page.
2007-01-15 13:25:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you're in a rush to fall in love. this whole being in a relationship thing is really affecting you and not in a good way. first of all you're still young, you have your whole life ahead of you and you're gonna fall in love more than once. second of all try hanging out with friends and family. concentrate on something else. you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. as time goes if you find someone you truly like, that's good but if you're rushing you're not gonna get what you want and the relationship is gonna fall apart. someone you like is gonna come your way but for now enjoy your life and don't small things like that hold you down.
2007-01-15 13:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by jdukenumber1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of time i still wonder what love really means. You are still young, why would you even think that you screwed yourself over? i believe the older that you get the wiser you get. Love usually develope from being friends with someone. dont give up on love yet and good luck
2007-01-15 13:28:02 · answer #7 · answered by molly_tony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! where do you leave?? i mus have been looking for you all my life, hehehe. not because you're a virgin but because you were able to love someone for such a long time..
well, to answer your question, dont sleep around.. *** is not everything though dont flaunt yur virginity either.. if love hits you, it hits you.. it doesnt really make you think, just make you feel.. if nothing and no one has hit you hard enough to still be asking that question, don't worry, nothing worthwhile has passed you by just yet..
2007-01-15 13:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by jeij_84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it...you haven't been an adult for all that long...give it time...you'll know it when you feel it, just be open to the possibility.
2007-01-15 13:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋