How do I stop the kids I babysit from kicking me?

Question

I've been babysitting the same kids for almost 3 years now. They're wonderful kids, ages 6 and 3(both girls), but since the oldest one has started kindergarten she hits or kicks me when she doesn't get her way, especially when I won't let her watch t.v.(their father doesn't want them watching more than 2 hours a day). The youngest doesn't do it as much but it's getting more frequent with her. When they do kick or hit me I tell them that it hurts me and ask them not to do it again, but they do it again anyways. What should I do?

I should also mention that the parents don't know how to say "no" and back it up. Yesterday when I babysat them before they left the oldest asked for a piece of candy, the mother told her no and that she had to wait until after lunch, she started screaming at the top of her lungs and the mom handed her the candy. The kids are used to screaming for what they want then getting it, so when I don't give them what they want they do what they would normally do.

Answer 1

Talk to the parents and see what dicipline style they want for this.

I would immediatly stop playing with/talking to them and send them to their room for a few minutes. When you tell them they can come out, remind them WHY they were there in the first place and tell them that whenever they hit/kick/bite/whatever, they will have to be alone because it's not okay to hurt people. Also, let her know that hitting/kicking will not change the answer. With my kids, I tell them that if they can cooperate and calmly ask for what they want, IF I can/have time/whatever, I will accept their request. But if I can't they will have to cooperate anyway. Maybe you could give a few more minutes if they ask nicely rather than freaking out.

Also, if you can play with them or have other activities for them, they may forget about the TV.

Answer 2

The worst thing you could do is hit or kick them back!!!

Speak with the parents, and decide on a consequence that you both can agree with. Six years old is old enough to understand that kicking hurts. I would discuss the kicking with the child, parents, and you together, when things are calm. You can also practice with the child what to do when she doesn't get her way--maybe she doesn't know what to do when she feels upset or disappointed. Give a reward every time she handles a disappointment correctly. When TV time is coming to a close, start announcing that it'll be turned off in five minutes and one minute, and remind her that instead of kicking when it goes off, you will be doing the next activity. If she kicks, I would give a warning, and if she did it again, follow through with the consequence that you agreed on with the parent. I bet when the older one stops, the younger one will too.

Good luck!

Answer 3

These kids are obviously in charge of their house. You need to remind them that you are in charge. When it is time to shut the TV off, it's time, period. If the girls choose to get physical, they choose to lose privileges. The girls are old enough and know what they are doing is wrong, tell the girls that no one likes to be hit and you will not tolerate it. "If you choose to hit me, you choose to lose. You will not be allowed to play, you will sit in time out. If you hit me today, the next time I come, there will be NO television at all." And follow through. Always follow through.
The girls will get worse before they get better, especially since their parents don't follow through. You will have to be very strict about that behavior and never overlook it. After a few times, they will see that you will not tolerate it and stop. They will probably still do it to their parents or others, but not with you. This is a good lesson in what you will want for your kids and why it is actually better for kids to have the parents be in charge. It is great that you ask for help instead of resorting to quitting or hitting.

Answer 4

It almost sounds to me like they think it's funny, and they don't believe you when you say that it hurts. I wouldn't ask them to stop, I would tell them to stop or else they sit in time out for 15 minutes, or go to their room for 30 minutes, or get some privilege taken away. There has to be a consequence to their actions. And be sure that they know that you will tell their parents.

Also, definitely talk about this with their parents. Tell them you're having a hard time getting them to stop, and ask them what punishment(s) would be effective. It's possible the girls never kick when their parents are around, so they might not even know this is happening. If the younger kid sees her big sister getting in trouble for kicking, she'll stop.

Answer 5

Only since you've tried everything else and it's not working...

Yell at them in the most thunderous tone you can. Not a scream like a girl but an authoritative yell and say "That is it. You will NOT kick me anymore. I don't kick or hit you and YOU will not hit or kick me." (Remember you are like a giant compared to them, image a person who stood 2 or 3 feet taller than you yelling at you, it will scare them silent.) Then pick them each up and place them in the time out chair and look them straight in the eye and tell them that you were going to take them for a walk or were going to play a game but since they were mean to you that they can sit in the time out chair alone. (If they get up, just keep putting them back.) Follow up with, that tomorrow you can do something fun together if they behave but not today because you are upset with them. You have to stick to your guns on this and not let them get away for a second with abusing you. It will probably take 2 or 3 days but they will conform.

Answer 6

I would discuss this with their parents.

If you feel uncomfortable doing this, then get the kids to stop kicking you by conditioning them or using reinforcement. Tell the kid that every time she kicks you, you will take away something from her-like a minute off of TV time. So if she kicks you 30 times, she gets a half an hour taken off her TV time. You could also try this with other things, like every time she kicks you, you take away one cookie or cracker. Good luck!

Answer 7

You need to talk to their parents about this, and they need to have a word with their daughters- let them know that their behavior is completely unacceptable, and that if it happens again, they will go from two hours of TV to zero. They need to understand that hitting and kicking ANYONE will not be tolerated. Usually negative consequence work pretty good when trying to eliminate a behavior. Good luck!


PS- It's also a good idea to have some alternative activities to keep them engaged- reading to them, arts & crafts, baking, playing dress-up, etc., etc., etc.

Answer 8

well obviously you can't beat them sh!tless cause there not your kids. hell you can hardly hit your own kids these days. anyways, something i like doing is creative "time-outs" instead of sending to there room. have them "push the wall" thats where you lean forward and put both hands on the wall and just stand there. or you can have them "sit the wall" which is worse thats where you put your back against the wall and squat as if you were sitting in a chair. it gets old quick. and it starts to hurt after a bit. if neither one of these work you can put a bar of soap in a tube sock and that wont leave marks.

Answer 9

This works.

A video called "1-2-3 Magic"

I found it at the library. Ask the parents to watch it, too. It has to be a joint effort or it won't work. It's a discipline program involving time outs. I recommend it highly.

Answer 10

TIME-OUTS DO WONDERS!!! PLEASE try them. You put them in a very boring spot, not the couch either. Try a corner with nothing to look at but the corner walls. One minute for each year of age. I have a timer that I set and tell my 3 year old when it dings, he can come out of time-out. Keep doing it until they know you mean business. Give them a warning that they will be put in time out if they continue to kick you and the next time it happens, put them in time out. Make sure to tell them why you are putting them in time-out too. Good luck.