they are both happy with eachother and he doesnt push a sexual relationship on her till they get married
2007-01-15 05:06:59 · 80 answers · asked by epicex 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he doesnt push her for sex he says that they should wait to have sex if they decide to get married
2007-01-15 05:08:12 · update #1
no, me personnaly i think you should only go out with someone no more than 3 years older than you if your are only 15, and if your over 18 then it should be no more than 7 or 8 years more. i'm not saying that the 30 year old is just trying to get sex but you there is a 15 age difference that is a little to much, think of it this way a 5 year old going out with a 20 year old sound good? i didnt think so, i dont see why a 30 year old would want to go out with a 15 year old girl, i think there would be to much heat on the 30 year old for going out with a 15 year old, and the 15 year old is (i think) not old enough to even start thinking about marrige yet, and i would not want to be friends with a 15 year old with a 30 year old boyfriend even if he doesnt want her for sex
to the third poster who said it is illegal... here in the USA it is not it is only illegal to have SEX with a minor (here in michigan 16) otherwise they could get married if they wanted
i as you might be able to tell am a guy, and if i were 30 i would not want to go out with a 15 year old for a few reasons (1) you might loose all your friends because of it (2) you may be put in the newspaper by the girls parents for trying to go out with here
(3) the girls parents could get a restraining order on the 30 year old...
the 30 could also persuade her to do stuff (i.e. drop out of school, run away from home, do drugs... easier than say someone in her age goup)
i bet there isnt one post in your answer that says yes, and when i last checked you had more than a few pages of answers
i just searched the first three pages for the words 'yes' and 'yeah' and not one person said yes or yeah to your question
2007-01-15 05:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by willy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not! Number one, besides the fact that the 30 yr. old is technically an "adult," and the 15 yr. old a "child," why would a normal, emotionally and socially mature "man" want a non-sexual relationship? Especially with somebody 1/2 his age? I mean, think about it! It's not "normal."
And even if it did remain non-sexual, which I don't believe is possible, there's something sick about the whole concept. If the girl's parents are ok with this, I'd wonder about their parenting abilities and/or sanity. I mean, it's totally irresponsible for them to even consider allowing it!!
Being "happy" with each other makes no sense. The 15 yr. old is nowhere near being ready to make decisions for herself. She's still in need of capable parents who are supposed to be protecting her from strangers, danger, and predators.
The 30 yr. old has some psychological issues that need addressing. Why would he not look to a woman closer to his own age for a complete relationship?
Absolutely horrifying!!
2007-01-15 05:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand why the girl could be enamored.
However she should take a long look at the fact that the man, at age 30, has the emotional level of a 15 year old and cannot deal with the emotional complexity of a woman his own age.
Someday the 15 year old will be a woman herself, with emotions that mature and become more complex over time. Her "man" on the other hand is likely to remain stuck at the 15 year old level for the rest of his life.
He will likely become very frustrated over time, as will she. Her frustration will come out as a desire to change the relationship between them to be more mature. He will likely be unable to evolve toward maturity and I would expect his frustration to be expressed much more immaturely - through childish efforts to contol the girl. When these fail, which they undoubtedly will, expect him to try to control her physically, usually through physical abuse that will include beatings and worse.
Run away from this man. If necessary get a restraining order. I cannot be more serious in this advice.
2007-01-15 05:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by Richard B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know what he is thinking . 15 is still under the underage statue for consent. He is really not using his brain, Think about this 15 year old. When you are 30 he will be 45 not to bad but when you are 45 he will be 60 when you are 60 he will probably be deceased leaving you a widow at the most critical and scary time in your life. BE a little girl now you will have plenty time for grown up things and the problems that come with them soon enough.
2007-01-15 05:15:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello, the answer too your question is NO, you are way too young & he needs help, mental help theirs something very wrong with this guy I don't care if he ask for sex or not it is wrong , very wrong & I'm also sorry you can't convience me that he hasn't & is not asking for sex not a man that is 30 years old; you are also too young too know what happiness & true love is soooo if I was your parent the law would be called !!! So the answer too your quetion is NO, NO, & NO again . Sorry, I can't give you the answer you wanted too hear but the law will not either .
Get away from this man Now.
2007-01-15 05:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by sweettexasangel12001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I still think the age difference is too much. There is just too much difference in where you both would be as far as stages in life. The relationship would be doomed to fail. I think a 30 year old man is demented to think he can have a relationship with a child. He needs to find someone near his own age. Even if he doesn't push a sexual relationship, their is still something not right mentally.
2007-01-15 05:12:34 · answer #6 · answered by TeresaW 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should wait until you are 20 and he is 35. Then when you come back and ask most people will say ,why not, age is just a number. It amazes me how just a few years makes such a big difference in perception. At 15 you really are to young for this. And a pedophile is anyone who is sexually attracted to pre pubescent children.
2007-01-15 05:21:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO, she should be around people in her own social age group with in 5 years. If the other adults that she should have trust in are not protecting the 15 year old girl from herself and other predators. Does she have a mature father figure in her life?
I would strongly urge you to do a background check and see if he is listed as a sexual predator.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck then its a duck.
Again, 15 years old is way to young for her to be with a man that is twice her age. If you are her PLEASE AVOID this situation. If you are not her...it's your responsibility to PROTECT her. No grown person who is healthy and "normal" should be seeking a relationship with someone that much younger than they are. You must question as to why they don't have people their own age to establish relationships with. Be honest about the answers to the questions. If you're not you're only hurting yourself or the person you care about in the end.
Its not always about sex. Somettimes (a lot) it is about power.
2007-01-15 05:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a very open-minded person, but no, I don't think this age gap in this context is healthy in a relationship.
A 15-year gap between a 30-year-old woman and a 45-year-old man is a little different.
Both are adults, both have experienced independence and generally learned something of what they want in life, both are emotionally mature (hopefully), their brains and bodies are now developed (rather than still developing), the woman is probably financially independent, etc. There is no imbalance of "power" in the relationship.
There is a big difference with the situation you've described.
The teenage girl is still maturing physically, emotionally, and mentally. She does not have much experience with men that much older than her (if any), so she will not know how to interpret his behavior or be aware of when he's taking advantage of her.
She is not socially or financially independent -- if she latches onto this guy (marriage or otherwise), she will be completely at his mercy. Especially if she has a baby. She can't even drive yet. She isn't even a legal adult yet.
She is very much dependent on this thirty-year-old, in the relationship. Technically, he is old enough to biologically be her father.
To give an example: I am 38 years old. While I can look at a girl 20 years younger than me and acknowledge that she might be very beautiful, mature, and smart for her age, there is a LARGE gap there between her life experience and mine. She is still in school and has very different daily concerns from me, while I have had to build an independent life for myself, build long-term relationships, deal with children, etc.
I simply cannot "relate" to her in the sense of dating, enough to have a "real" relationship with her. Any attraction there would primarily be about one thing... the physical aspect. There is no other point of real connection.
So this thirty-year-old man either is interested in her because of a physical attraction (even if he's promising to wait... a promise he will have to struggle to hold onto) ... OR he sees her as an easy emotional mark and senses how vulnerable she is to him in the relationship, so he can dominate her for his own purposes... OR he is emotionally a 15-year-old himself and can totally relate to her... and any 30-year-old man that is emotionally a 15-year-old is not a good man to be in a relationship with.
Why isn't he matching up with a woman his age? Does he feel that inadequate, or out of control in a relationship with a woman who can hold her own with him?
Let me reiterate that there is nothing wrong with the 15-year-old girl: She can act like a 15-year-old, because that's her real age. She probably appreciates the attention, especially from an older man, and she feels special because he chose her.
But this 30-year-old man, in almost any situation, has some big issues... and she will most likely regret involving herself with him in a long-term relationship.
I would advise her to get out of it now, before her life becomes really screwed up.
2007-01-15 05:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a 15 year old girl has no business being with a man that much older, and the man being 30 has some serious problems, that's called being a child petafile not a boyfriend. threes to much of a maturity gap for them to have things in com on, if he really cares for he he would leave her alone and let her have a normal life
2007-01-15 05:11:49 · answer #10 · answered by cowgrl3611 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋