Hey. Theres this girl I met at a friends house who has a baby girl. Shes 21 from what my friend told me and is just taking care of her kid and working. Anyways, what I wanted to know is if ur in the same shoes or just know, what would u look for in a bf? Dont really know if she likes me or anything but just want to know if I would be somethings she would be interested in so were not waisting our time. Spit out whatever and let me kno. Thanks for readin.
2007-01-15 05:01:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Before you even consider getting involved with a young woman with a child make sure this is something that you are ready for. Remember, she has a child and that child needs to be the first priority in her life. If she has half a brain, she will be looking for someone who is secure, has values, likes kids and isn't afraid to take on responsibility. You need to think of this before you date her. If the child becomes attached to you and you break up, that can have a severe impact on the child. If you are okay with being second in her life, then ask her out. I'd actually get to know her better in a group environment and as a friend and make sure she is someone you are really interested in. It's really hard to say what she might want in a guy. She may want someone who is fun, caring, and a good father figure. Or, she may be really immature and just be in it for personal gratification and head games. Get to know her! Good luck!
2007-01-15 05:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Getting involved with anyone with a child no matter what the age is going to take alot of work. You need to ask yourself if this woman is ready for a relationship? Are you ready to start a relationship with a woman with a young child? This could be hard for both of you just because there is a child involved.
I am a 22 year old mom of a 4 month old boy. I do have a boyfriend but if I was single I would not want to start a relationship with anyone. I would want to focus on my baby and providing for him.
2007-01-15 05:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was a 21 yr old single mom. I would probably look for a man that isn't playing any games. After you have a child you want to be all done to business. I would want the man to be mature and willing to commit. I think after you become a mom you aren't really wanting to just date. I would want someone serious that is great with my child as well because you wouldn't only be dating me but my baby is a part of the package. My brother starting dating this girl (his wife now) just after she had a baby. My brother has been around since and that baby is now 17 yrs old and my brother has been her "dad" since. If you were to seriously start dating this girl very seriously you should really love this baby as your own. all I know is that most women don't want the childish games especially after having a baby. Good luck
2007-01-15 05:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife was in the same shoes when I met her. To be completly honest all she was looking for was a "good time." After dating for a couple of months we decieded that are feelings for each other were blossoming into something else and we moved foward with the relationship.
Couple of things I would advise is;
1.) Give her the space/time that she needs to care for her child. Never for a second think that you will be more important than the child.
2.) Let hertell you when it's time for you to meet the child. It's not a good idea for mother who's dating to introduce her boyfriends to the child right of the bat, it gives the child a false sense of security. If the child develops a liking to you and then things don't work out, you will be breaking up with both of them.
Good luck and treat her right, remember she is somebody's daughter and somebody's mother.
2007-01-15 05:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by Therious 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
For a single Mother the most important thing to her is the child.If you want things to go any further ask yourself if you think you can handle being with someone who has a young child? She probably spends a lot of time with the baby and might not have a great deal of time for a BF right now.This girl needs someone who likes kids,who is responsible and mature.GL
2007-01-15 05:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im a single mom and what i looked for was an honest person who could deal with my everyday responsibilities. having a child is difficult. while you are able to go on the fly. we on the other hand have to worry about someone else. also dont gte involved unless you are looking for a relationship. single mothers dont need flings, and guys going through revolving doors. there are alot of things to consider, is the father involved and how much? is he a jerk that will be on ur butt all the time? is he jealous? these are all things you might have to deal with. but hey give it a chance if you like her. just know its different and often times a rewarding experience.
2007-01-15 05:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The qualities I was looking for in a man when I was in her shoes (21 and a single mom of 3) were:
1.A man that loved and respected me
2. A man who could love and respect my children as if they were his own
3. Honesty
4. Hard worker
5. Has a good sense of humor
6. Can accept that bad things happen
7. Knows when the bad things happen good things are sure to come.
2007-01-15 05:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
#1 you have to present your self like you are very mature and ready to have a relationship with her, keep in mind she has a little one so for you; you will be with her and her child alot, ** especially if she is a single mother.
#2 Some one trust worthy and dependable would be good qualities depending on her last relationship she may have had a hard time with her childs father,
#3 Flexiblity is also good from what you stated she has little time for personal life. Get when youcan basically!!
2007-01-15 05:22:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you being a single mom shouldn't make men run faraway from you in the event that they know mind-blowing upfront which you have a newborn.. Now in case you purely decide to this element a guy ,with none dedication,then having a newborn might desire to have no bearing on the guy truly. while you're desirous to get right into a dating with a guy then he has to understand that your newborn comes first and if he needs you and a dating with then you definately he's taking you and the newborn . some men will run reason they do purely not decide to be tied down with you and a newborn purely you would be ok..while you're chuffed as you're saying being single then stay that way for now date have relaxing situations no strings linked. you will stumble on an incredible guy in time no might desire to hurry. wish it is clever to you..
2016-10-07 04:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would look for a man that is mature enough to take on the role of playing a father figure when he steps into y'alls world. A man that will love your child and much as he will love you. He has to respect that fact that your a mother and a girlfriend (or future wife) and your daughter will always come first.
(to the girl with the child)
2007-01-15 05:09:44 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋