Everytime we have a row, she dont want to see me and dont want anything to do with me for days on end and then wants to see me but dont want to discuss why we had a fight etc. She says all i ever do is talk about things. And all i do is talk talk talk. I see that talking is the only way to communicate emotions effectively and to understand why we argue and fight. thus talking and learning lessons in the future. I often ask what she wants from me, but she says she dont know She says she wants a boyfriend when things are good but when we fight she dont want a boyfriend. I feel she picks me up and puts me down at her convienince and often feel rather used. I aske her today if she could tell me one thing she has done nice for me. She couldnt. Am i wasting my time????
2007-01-15 04:41:39 · 28 answers · asked by Westley K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Reality check:
You love her...but you are just a boyfriend to her. The feelings aren't as mutual as you would like.!
If I could have just the perfect thing....i would say a boyfriend when I need him...but not when I don't...you know make it all convenient for me. All about me...and not about you.
GET A REALITY CHECK. Time to let her go...or suffer for the sake of suffering. She doesn't love you. No matter how nice you are, the stakes need to be reversed. Try backing off, be unavailable, maybe she will change her mind. Maybe. But I wouldn't bet on it.
LOTS of women would like a nice boyfriend like you. Find one of them and be much much happier!
2007-01-15 04:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by kishoti 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You probably are, but think, and talk it with her, why did you get together in the first place, has she commitment issues, whats she worried about - general day to day stuff. If you talk more about what she holds dear, maybe the arguments wont happen, if none of that works, you may have to part. ...or do the same back, just the once, to make her aware, and understand.
If she doesn't want to come out of her shell, then there's nothing much you can do.
Discuss youre hopes and dreams, and try to find out what makes her so unhappy in general by steering her in a conversation, then backing off when things get too choppy, and give her a hug.
2007-01-15 04:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/YWAdd
Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.
Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.
She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!
Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!
2016-07-19 19:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving her will not fix the problem m8. If u love her you sort this out. Not by talking as you've tried that b4. Change your behavior and your talk for a while, you can be whatever you want. Stop talking about the arguments and start pretending they never happened. Show a change in behavior (for the better) and she'll notice the diference. When arguin, finish it straight away by answering her with a smile. She shall notice a big change and she may speak up. Some ppl are just a bit closed and they dont talk much.
2007-01-15 05:15:33 · answer #4 · answered by Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My good friend, end this relationship right now. If she cant talk about stuff and doesnt like when you try to give her advice or discuss thimgs, she is a waste of time. Being able to talk and discuss in a relationship is vital. Being allowed to listen and and discuss feelings and issues is the foundation of a successful relationship. Im afraid this girl you are with wont provide the relationship with that foundation. And it may get worse. Eventually, she wont want to know you atall. Time to walk away from her now, before things turn nasty. My hearthfelt advice mate. You are nobodys puppet.
I wish you the best. You deserve it. You are a good guy.
2007-01-15 04:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interestingly, your message reads like you are the typical, western woman and she is the "typical" man. My friend, all you have to do is dump her, let her find a "typical" man who believes problems go away by ignoring them - there are a lot out there and YOU find yourself, for the most part, just about any other woman you meet and you will find someone who is the right person for you.
It's hard to believe out of all the women who are all too ready to "talk" about their feelings and "where the relationship is going", you are saddled with the one woman who has communication issues.
Interesting, indeed.
Good luck.
2007-01-15 05:24:39 · answer #6 · answered by KD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely! Listen, your 'girlfriend' is seeing or liking someone else. When someone no longer values what you have to say, nine times out of ten, they're choosing someone else. Now I don't know whether or not you're the type that sticks around too long, but get out now! I'm telling you this for your own good. When she leaves you hanging 'cause things aren't going 'good', she's definitely weighing out her options. Don't try and compete, just go!!!
2007-01-15 04:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by miss understood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey dude. i have alot of expierence on serious relasionships. mabey , you are being to serious. what she is doing is wrong and inconsiderate, however, mabey you just need to take a step back. things have a way of working them selfs out. the next time you get into an argument, just say: okay okay, i'm sorry ( and pretend to mean it). do not have an argument. if there is something you disagree upon then just tell her how you feel calmly. take a step back! have fun! the serious stuff can come later! good luck!
2007-01-15 05:31:36 · answer #8 · answered by mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ill-suited for one another. You are open and would like to work on the relationship. She is the type who sweeps things under the rug. She holds a grudge and probably stockpiles hurts to use later in a BIG blow up. Millions, and I mean MILLIONS of women are just looking for a man that would behave the way you say you do. Look for one of them.
2007-01-15 04:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I got to say is you can't go forcing something if it just ain't right. It sounds to me like this girl is using you when she needs you and the rest of the time she doesn' t care. Doesn't want to work things out. I hope you figure things out. Good luck.
2007-01-15 04:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by Vthokie25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋