Why do parents want so many children?

Question

Once i have siblings, my parents became very biased in that they love the younger ones more and expect you to help look after them. When my younger brother and sister were born, i had to give up learning piano because there was not enough money. Whenever things went wrong or happened to the two young ones, my parents will immediately point finger at me and question me. Hello... Why can't parents just have one child and shower him/her with 100% love???

Answer 1

Some parents don't have the ability or knowledge to be the best of parents. Unfortunately, some parents tend to "favorite" a child more than another, a human quality they might not realize is happening.

Why do parents have lots of children instead of just one? Many reasons. First, they don't practice good birth control. Second, they love children and want more. Third, many have a belief that the role of a married couple is to propogate - have lots of children. Lastly, parents don't see money as an issue in raising children though like in your case the number of family members may limit what "benefits" the other children have, i.e. piano lessons.

When you are young, and I would expect your are about thirteen, you don't realize all the choices adults have to make from children, to finances, to new cars, etc. I think most kids who are in a family of two or more kids, wants to be the only child. And those who are only children, want to have at least one sibling.

Growing up in a family of four children, the money was always tight. We did not get the best of new clothes or vacations, etc. But we always knew we were loved, though when I was a teenager I thought I was adopted because I too thought I was treated differently than my younger or older siblings. But once I was an adult and living on my own, and had a long talk with Mother, I learned things she never shared, things I wish I had known growing up but my parents felt children did not need to worry about.

You are part of a family, a lucky thing with two parents these days. Take a walk with your mother or when the younger ones are in bed, ask her to sit down and talk. Keep the questions short and non-emotional.

And more, realize that at your apparent age things seem to be harder and less "fair". Time and maturity will help you survive and become a happy, independent adult.

Answer 2

There are a number of reasons people have more than one child. Religion...some religions forbade the use of contraceptives. Other religions or faiths believe in the more children born the wealthier the family is. Accidents..unplanned pregnancies or just one night of passion. Some plan their families out when they get married or talk of marriage, while others use children as a means to hold the spouse in the marriage.
I know where your coming from from your question...I was the 4th out of 5 children. My oldest brother and sister were the ones my Grandparents always preferred, my Mom felt guilty about not wanting pregnant for my youngest sister that she over did the spoiled part on her. My brother and I that are the middle children had each other, we took the blame or was blamed for many things we did not do or do alone. I wore hand-me-downs, but my baby sister got new for by the time she grew into the clothes they were too old and/or faded. The two older siblings spent long summers with my Grandparents but seemed to old and tired to take the rest of us for vacations. The two oldest went to college but money was scarse for the middle kids and by the time my youngest sister went the money was available. Do I resent them? No, it was not my siblings fault that this happened, I do not blame my parents for I really think they tried to make everyone feel equal and to be honest, I think I am a stronger person today for it all. I learned from my older siblings, my younger brother and I were as close as any twins could ever be and my little sister is still very much the baby in our family, at the age of 47. When my kids were born I wanted but two, my oldest and my baby, I never knew the sex of my babies until they were born and I had both girls to love and cherish. Much sibling rivalry went on with them also, but both knew Mom loved them equally, as my first born and my baby.

Answer 3

I had two children and as close together as possible because I wanted the kids to be friends as well as sibling's.My sons re 18 months apart and yes they are close. I know some people have 4,5 6 and more. If they can afford that many and give the children equal love and attention good for them.I am so sorry that you don't feel loved anymore.I am sure your parents would be crushed if they knew that they thought that they didn't love you. They are just wanting to teach you how to do chores and to be a better adult. Please tell them you feel left out and I can guarantee you that you will find out that they love you very much. My brother and his wife wanted only one child and he got everything and now he is a school teacher so he can be around children because he wishes he had brothers and sisters or at least one brother or one sister.His wife can't have children so they consider their students their children as they are both teachers.

Answer 4

Some parents like babies a lot and want big families and then there's ones out there like mine who had 3 and that was it. They also might not of wanted to stop at just one because they were afraid that the one would get lonely and some just happen by accident. I'm not sure since mine stopped after they had my younger brother and just had me and my older brother. I couldn't tell you but those are my guesses.

Answer 5

All parents do this, but it's not that they are favoring the younger ones, it's that they expect you to be more responsible. If there was only one child to spoil, as you say, that child would grow up being VERY selfish. Siblings teach us a lot. Like sharing, compassion, friendship (as with most siblings, they are your first friend), and above all they teach us the true meaning of love and family. Worth much more then the things money can buy, wouldn't you say?

Answer 6

I know that my children's first mom loved all of her children, but the youngest ones, she had a harder time bonding with. I think that somewhere in her mind, she knew that she was going to pass away and so she more encouraged them to bond with us and their older siblings. I don't care if she was technically mentally challenged or not. In many ways, she was amazingly smart and I will forever be grateful for that.

Answer 7

First of all how old are you. You sound like a teenager.

Second of all I don't know your parents side of the story but it sounds like you want it to be all about you.

Having a big family means more to love and some sacrafices have to be made not with just your problems, but with everyone in your family.

I don't know if you are religious or not, but think of it this way, if the Lord came up and asked you why you didn't want your parents to have more children, and you tell him it's because you had to quit piano and you get blamed for everything, what do you think his reaction would be, "hey I know how you feel, I had to die for all of the people on earth because of their sins" "No I think he would tell you that he sacraficed his life for all of us, can you sacrafice the piano?" and just start loving your family more and not think of yourself so much.

Answer 8

I would only want one child and that is it. Because if you have more than one..there is the possibility that one is going to feel more loved than the other one!

Answer 9

Your question should be, "Why couldn't MY parents have just one child..." Many other couples have several children and handle it just fine.

Answer 10

sounds like you are bitter, just give them the same explanation when they are in the nursing home. You have limited time and resources and can't spend it all on them.

No idea why people do that, i'm for replacement population growth.