I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 and half yrs of rockiness! We just had a baby together in october, which he cheated on me while i was pregnant.... ummmm such a lovely guy! lol What are somethings i can do to help myself get over him. like i wanna spend time with my baby all the time and when the baby is at his house i usually go over and spend some time with my baby. but now that i broke up with my boyfriend i need some advcie on how to go about not seeing him, talking to him and what not until he's not under my skin anymore and im over the relapses of wanting to be with him when i feel sad and lonely.
2007-01-15 04:22:44 · 17 answers · asked by foxzie006 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Concentrate on your new born. When he has him don't go over there. Eventually the feeling will pass.
2007-01-15 04:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First piece of advice - remember always that you made the decision to make a baby while you were in a rocky relationship. You have put yourself - and more importantly your child into this situation.
Second piece of advice. Get child support. Maybe you already are doing this. If not - you definitely should go through all of the legal paperwork and hassle to get it.
Third piece of advice: Unless your baby's father is harmful to the child - he should have a relationship with the child. Do not talk bad about him. Support his relationship with your child. You may think he is scum (and from what you wrote he seems to be) - but he is the child's only Dad - and YOU chose to make a child with him - so now it is important for you to support their relationship. If he continues to be scum - in time the child will see this. Meanwhile - it is not your job to tell the child what a scumbag he is. And if the child has questions about why Daddy did this or that - tell him/her to ask the Dad.
Fourth piece of advice: What should you do with you time now that you are trying to get over this guy? You should be involved in your child's life. 100%. There really is no time for other men now. And would that be fair to the child - to be bringing other men around? No. Kids need stability. And the best way you can provide that is to stay single. When your child is off spending time with the father - you can be spending your time reading parenting books so you know how to be the best Mom possible. They are free to read if you get them from the library. There are many things to learn about that will make you a better parent - such as nutrition and discipline and education. Also - when the child is away you can spend your time working. Come up with a definite schedule of parenting time (in a court order) so you can spend your non-parenting time working and making money to raise your child. Reading and working - those are two best things for you to be doing. If your mind is on your child - you will not be feeling sad and lonely.
Sixth piece of advice: Remember - it's all about this child. You decided to have a child and it is now YOUR responsibility to make sure everything is as good for the child as possible. Bringing a life into the world is a huge, big deal. It goes on for 18 years - and really, truly, it goes on for the rest of your life. Take on the responsibility of motherhood - and when setting your priorities - ALWAYS put your child first. (at least until they have graduated from high school or college) Your child is innocent and had nothing to do with your break-up.
2007-01-15 04:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is harsh. I would think just reminding yourself what he did to you should help you not want to think kindly of him and think being with him again just because you feel lonely would be a good thing. There are guys out there who will treat you and your baby they way you deserve. Don't go back to the jerk. Good luck - sorry I don't have better advice of how to keep the jerk out of your mind and heart.
2007-01-15 04:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by Uncle Tim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody told you this, one did hint at it. Take this person to COURT and make sure that he is obliged, by an order of the court, to pay you child support. If it is not an order of the court he most likely will forget to pay you to help out with your expense's of raising a child..Amongst all of your problems you need support. Do it now and don't feel guilty about it.
2007-01-15 04:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by buzzwaltz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do to keep your mind off of him, is only going to help in time.
I am not with my sons father and it was really hard for me at first. But I just found hobbies. Reading, i went back to college.
Keep your contact with him to a minimun only when absolutely necessary. It is something that is going to be in your life until you finally get over him.
2007-01-15 04:27:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See everyone has tough phases but then everyone has good ones too. It is a normal tendency to try and get out of tough situations, to try and escape them.
I tell you and you know that too that one day you will be out of the relationship completely and one day you will fall in love again .....
So just wait and watch. Sit back and eagerly wait for what the life has in store for you ...but be patient and for the moment just let yourself fall in love with the Gods gift ( your kid ) for he is one that is not going to cheat you ....he is all yours for the rest of your life ...love him and enjoy the love he returns to you and move ahead to discover new life.
best of luck
2007-01-15 04:33:56 · answer #6 · answered by puneet b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep busy. Spend time with your baby and family. Spend time with friends. It will take sometime but you'll get over him.
2007-01-15 04:26:53 · answer #7 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry sweet.... it is very natural for you to want him back after all he is the father of your child and you want your child to have a father... and be brought up in a normal family unit.....
Good luck x
2007-01-15 04:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont let him see the kid till the court appoints child support and visitations, you soon will be fighting over that and any loving feelings you still have will turn to hate, and you will be well over him.
2007-01-15 04:27:27 · answer #9 · answered by rand a 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this happened to me my parents were not married and my mom was pregnent with me. they broke up though. I used to see my dad once in a while but i havent seen him in years. my mom got remarried to my stepdad when i was two. i hope this helps you decide what to do
2007-01-15 04:27:50 · answer #10 · answered by {*Naomi*} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋