I am 25 years old and moved back into my parents house 5 months ago because I wanted to go to Graduate school without having to work. The problem is, I am not getting along with my Dad very well (we have our good days and bad). When I was a teenager we would fight once in a while. But he is old and grumpy (he’s 74) and often scolds me over the smallest things. Yesterday I got into a heated argument with him over something quite silly, and now I am considering moving out since I am an adult. My question is, should I just move out or should I stay put and try andwork things out with him? I get along fine with my mother, but my dad is another story. Things are different now because I am an adult and moving out is an option (though graduate school will have to be put on hold). . Any suggestions?
2007-01-15 04:15:14 · 9 answers · asked by Fred F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
btw, I am paying for my own schooling (Loans, etc)
2007-01-15 05:48:53 · update #1
you should never run away situations like that you should stay and work things out because once your family is gone you cant bring them back
2007-01-15 04:30:41 · answer #1 · answered by kody d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are an adult and as such you should realize that your father will never change. Did you think that time would make a difference in his attitude and values when you moved back in.
I also don't think you should expect your parents to pay for you as an adult, graduate school or not. You should be paying something to help with board and room!
If you cannot manage to handle the situation with your father, then by all means move out and put off the graduate program OR look into grants to help you pay bills while you get that advanced degree.
Some adults who return home with the rationale of that their parents won't care, or owe it to them, etc. Then they find out that like when they were growing up, things are still the same. My folks always said, "This is our house. Live by our rules, our standards, or live away."
My belief is as an adult I am independent and don't use any family member to support me. If I cannot do it on my own or with loans/grants, I would either take it slower (less classes) or wait.
You can always also work part time and go to school. No one says you cannot be flexible! Good luck
2007-01-15 05:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living with your parents may be the only concievable way for you to make it through grad school. If you're serious about achieving that goal, you've gotta stick through this.
Normally, I'd suggesting having a serious talk with the guy, but if he's "old and grumpy" maybe you should just ignore him when he starts arguing over silly things.
And take a good look at yourself while you're at it. Do you two argue about silly things so much because he starts arguements for no reasons, or do you refuse to stop arguing because you can't stand to lose?
Just suggesting this as a possibility, not a fact. Think about it.
Cheers, best of luck
*EDIT*
If you're paying for your own school, and you think you can pay for your own living expenses, then there's really no need for you to be there. Unless you feel you need to look out for your parents at their age.
2007-01-15 04:43:34 · answer #3 · answered by AbbeyDLaurence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are my thoughts. Look to the future. When you (I'm sorry to say this) are at his funeral what do you think you would like to have said or have done with your father or have done for your father? What he is picking about, are you at fault or is it just his age? Maybe he has a difficult personality and you need to challenge yourself to try and get a long with him. You will meet worse people out in the world. You can do this, you will get your graduate degree and will possibly have some good memories with your parents. Its all up to you, you are the adult now. Just do your best and don't say or do anything you'll regret later when his time is up. Have mercy and compassion and try to stay out of the way as best you can.
2007-01-15 04:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move out.
He is grumpy because you are crowding his space and privacy.
He is in his elder years and does not want disruption in his household.
He has worked all his life and deserves peace and quiet.
You need to move out to another place and wait until you can financially support yourself and go back to school then,
It is not fair for him to have to change his life around because you want to return to school.
He is finsihed raising you and the financial part of you being there might be a drain on their resources.
You should definitely move out. As you said you are an adult.
Adults should not be living with mom and dad.
2007-01-15 04:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is that you can work a part time job, continue living with your parents but respect their rules. When you are done with school you will have some money to move out.
2007-01-15 04:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by ?Sherbear ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is time for you to be out on your own and have a better life for yourself.you have to work inorder to go to graduate school. your father shouldn't have to put you through school.it isn't up to him to do that for you. most of the time the military will do that for you.
2007-01-15 05:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you, i would move out to avoid any more conflicts with that old man.
2007-01-15 04:39:34 · answer #8 · answered by Daffodil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to work things out with ur dad i lost mine and would give anything to have him back if u leave and something happens to him god forbid u might have a guilty consience
2007-01-15 04:41:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋