My daughter is 18 months, what is the best way to discipline her????

Question

My daughter is always doing things she is not supposed to do and i tell her not to do it and she still does it. What can i do to make her understand that it is bad to do what she is doing

Answer 1

We tried the swat on the butt or the swat on the hand when our daughter was in trouble but the only thing that seemed to work (and still does) is to do time-out. We would immediately pick her up from whatever she was doing and tell her it was time out. We would then hold her (usually kicking and screaming) facing away from us on our lap for a minute and then tell her what she did was bad & why and then tell her time-out was all done. Then she would get a hug and away we would go. Somedays seemed worse than others, but it did get better over time. Now she's two and a half and when she gets into trouble, we send her to the couch or to her room for 2 minutes and if she keeps crying or throwing a fit after that, we tell her that time-out is over, and when she's ready, she can go play. Sometimes she gets right up, other times she cries for 5-10 mins more then all of a sudden tells us she's all done. The main thing is you have to start somewhere and then experiment a few times to see what works and what doesn't for her.

Answer 2

The reason that this question is so difficult is because of her age. She kind-of knows that she shouldn't but just doesn't seem to be able to stop herself or just doesn't care. She does this because she is too young to have enough impulse control to stop herself when she sees something tempting. She is not too young to discipline. I don't believe in spanking but even if I did, she is much too young.
It is really hard to know what to do with yourself if someone says, "Don't". Help her by telling her what to do instead. If she is using the mop to knock DVDs off the shelf, don't say, "No, stop knocking the DVDs off." She is left with an image of knocking the DVDs off. Tell her instead, "Here, please mop the kitchen floor." The image in her head is of mopping the kitchen floor.
If she is hitting or something else harmful then she should hear a firm "No, hitting hurts Mommy!" and be sat down away from her victim. She will sit for all of 15 seconds but the point is made that if you hurt, we are done. If she does it again right away, make sure that you move from the chair or place that you were in and that she is moved so the entire activity is changed. If you are cooking etc, she should be placed in another room (in eyesight) and told that she cannot play near you if she is going to hurt you.
Now is a good time for you and Dad to sit down and talk about the goals of discipline and what you want for her to be and for her to learn. Ultimately, the idea is to teach her self-discipline and to live a good life. Remember, you are not raising a daughter, you are teaching a little girl to be a woman. Always have an eye on the lesson you want to teach and an appropriate teaching opportunity will usually become clear.

Answer 3

This varies per child, its very important to understand what your daughters level of developement is to be able to give sound advice regarding discipline.

My daughter at 18 months was speaking fairly clearly, putting together sentences and attempting multiple syllable words. Discipline for her was based on conversation to be sure she understood what she did was wrong/dangerous etc. Then an enforcement punishment, 5 minutes time out to think about it then follow up that 5 minutes with a 1-2 minutes discussion about the ordeal.
You need to reinforce 2-3 times what it was that she did wrong at this age to ensure they remember it clearly and don't make the same mistake again.
Swatting them on the behind and saying No bad go sit down for 5 minutes, then letting them up for a snack or to play afterwards confuses them. What did they do wrong.. how can they not do it again, is mommy really mad at them .. why ? make sure these basic questions are answered even if they seem like a baby still, their minds are fully capable of understanding you if you will be patient enough to communicate clearly to them.

Answer 4

It can get very frustrating, I know, My son is 21 months.

First Time, I usually say no, explain why its no, then I take him away from what he was doing that was wrong
Second Time, If he goes to go do it again, knowing I have said its wrong, I will give him a time out, in the corner. When his time out is done, I will explain again why he cant do that, and why he was in the corner and I tell him, if he does it again, he goes in the corner again.
It works for us, most I have ever had to put him in the corner is twice, he figures it isn't worth it and carries onto something else.

But I do take time to explain and talk to him, telling him why its a No, and that it can hurt him or hurt the dog or whatever the case be, Mommy doesn't want crayon on the walls, its for paper only.

TIME OUTS - I have been told, and read in a few places to give them a time out the length of their years of life - 18 months 1 1/2 Min's and if 3 yrs old then 3 Min's etc...

Answer 5

I know, it's so hard. My daughter is 2 1/2 now, and it is a battle each day. First when she's doing something she not supposed to, get down to her level, grab her hands, and in a firm voice tell her that was a no no. I gently spank her hand. Not enough to hurt her, just enough to get her attention. Give her a disapproving look and tell her she was being naughty and she needs to leave it alone. Remove her from the area and give her something else to do. Then give her a big hug and kiss and tell her you love her and don't want her to get hurt. It's not foolproof, but it's about as much as you can reason with a 1 year old. And I'm sorry, they just don't understand timeouts that young. Good luck.

Answer 6

She is still too young yet to understand the concept of no yet, nor the repercussions for her actions. My daughter is in an early intervention program and the teacher there told me that instead of telling a toddler no, no, no all the time, direct them to what you do want them to do. It's not easy at first and takes some time to think of ways to redirect their attention to something more positive. Sometimes you have to make adjustments to keep her from doing things she shouldn't be doing. If she's getting into something, try moving it out of reach. Yes, children need to learn, but at this age they are exploring and you can't expect them to understand something they aren't ready to comprehend. Good luck.

Answer 7

The right question should be, what is the best way to make better connection with her?
In any case, telling her what to do and "discipline" her will wither won't work or work and leave her with serious things to deal with the psychologist when she reaches adulthood.
Offer her choices: Don't tell her, we have pasta and this is what you "have to" eat but offer her 2-3 food choices that SHE will choose. Leave her to choose her own clothes even if they don't match. Let her express her emotions and creativity with not too many "no". For example, she cannot draw the walls in the living room, but she can draw on the walls in her room.
She will learn to respect you, when you learn to respect her.

Answer 8

At 18 months your daughter has a very limited ability to understand what she is and is not supposed to do.

One person had her answer half right by saying you need to remove her from the situation. But you don't then hit her if she continues.

A key element of this is consistency. You have to remove her from the situation *every* time she does it. Yes, it's exhausting, but it'll be more effective than what will seem like a random act of violence.

Answer 9

My boy is almost 18 months old now. By all means, Don't spank her..she's still a baby. At this age, they are still toddlers and don't understand everything. You just have to have patience and repeat to her over and over NO to whatever she is doing. This stage won't last forever. Use a play pen to keep her confined when you need a 'break' from her.This helps me. I also have a 5 year old so I know what it's like. Having a toddler is demanding at times, but they are still sweet and need to be treated well.

Answer 10

Hubby and that i have raised 5 little ones, and a heap of foster little ones, with out spanking (there have been some close calls lol) notwithstanding that's an on-going pastime to self-discipline youthful little ones with out hitting them. What I advise, seeing as your daughter is in trouble-free words a year and a 1/2 old, beginning the following day, praise her for each good element she does, for taking section in acceptable, for being affected human being, for putting a toy away, for ingesting her breakfast, for being style, and for listening to you. effective re-enforcement works a lot more suitable constructive than punishment, and this manner she will commence to favor to obey you and make you chuffed. i'd in trouble-free words be a midsection elderly mom and grandmother, yet I truly have over one hundred "Mommy years" adventure, and that i will allow you to recognize that little ones who're spanked would nicely be obedient, yet they are adversarial and it may no longer teach itself instantly, notwithstanding it is going to teach itself and also you gained't like it. little ones noticeably reply nicely to praise, and if she does some thing like hitting or biting, or doing some thing you've informed her no longer to, then eliminate her, placed her in her playpen and turn your back on her. children hate that. Say what you advise, and advise what you're saying - it truly is the Golden Rule with little ones, be consistent, be style and loving, yet agency.