I have been dating this fabulous guy for two an years.He is everything a mother would want for her daughter.He loves n respects me endlessly and i love him too. The problem is i was never attracted to him since the beggining, well i was attracted to his personality, but thats about it .Since we hit it off so well and men like him are so hard and seemingly impossible to come by,I decided to continue dating him.Hoping that my feelings would grow. well that never happen, I just fell in-love with his personality even more. I even said to myself that if I had powers I would make myself fall in-love with him, the way he deserves. Well that wish neva came through. I even cheated on him, he knows about it, but I am not the cheating kind, i hate hurting someone else.So I realized if I stay then things would only get worst.So I finally told him the truth and he kept asking me how can i say i care and love him(which i really do) and tell him im not attracted and inlove with him. Hence my question
2007-01-15 03:51:24 · 23 answers · asked by love-a mere chemical reaction 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are many types of love. I feel that you can love someone emotionally and even spiritually without being romantically attracted to them or in love with them.
Just because I love a person because they have a beautiful soul does not mean that I am going to love them romantically or intimately.
I have many female friends who I have the utmost respect and admiration for, but I'm not romantically attracted to them.
I think that the chemistry is either there or it's not, and you can't force it to be so.
Romantic love, spiritual love, brotherly love, sisterly love, love for ones parents etc. is all different. When it comes to the friendship between a man and a woman, things get a bit tricky because romance and friendship often get confusing.
Sounds to me like this man could be a great friend, but you may never be in love with him. You did the right thing by being honest with him, and hopefully he can move on and learn to see you as a great friend someday.
Hopefully, you will find someone out there with whom you will love and be in love with. It's hard but not impossible.
2007-01-15 04:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all this guy sounds super nice and what you need to do is stop asking the question am I in love with him even though I am not attracted to him. If you really loved him, you would never have cheated on him. You have a nice guy there and you are being self fish. You know good guys are hard to find yet you hold on to him while you screw around. Leave this guy alone and let him move on you are hurting him. I can understand why you would break up with someone that you are not attracted to it is human nature to follow our eyes and what we see, but if you don't end this it would be silly you are wasting each others time and the longer you wait the harder it will be. If you "love" him (which ever love) then let him go.
2007-01-15 04:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by imdachef2003 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, love is a mysterious and complex thing. Sometimes people can fall in love and not realise they are in love and interpret their feelings for the other person in different ways. Physical attraction in the case of real love only becomes apparent (if it was not there at the start) when the people in question realise the depth of their feelings on both sides, then when they see how their true feelings lie, they will love every aspect of eachother.
2016-05-24 06:30:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no dear i don't think so. attraction is the key ingredient in gettin a true love n it's not just associated with outer appearence. coz in most of the case where ppl r married u can c n that's y ppl say opposites attract. even thou' he's hottest lookin guy or has BMW or other things, at the end of the day u only want 2 b with a guy who u r attracted 2, vice versa n not the other materialistic things he owes. c 4 urself, ur feelings have not changed coz the attraction factor is missin. u love him n care 4 him coz u've not fallen in love with him but only his personality. tell him that all the ways u love n care is not like u do 2 a special some1 but as a good freind n he mite have mistook. try 2 make things clear u'll definately get ur mr. right but only if u r more clear in ur thought n not cluless like this. gud luck.
2007-01-15 04:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you say not attracted to him does that also refer to sexually? Attraction whether it's physical or sexual can be two entirely different things. Looks can have absolutely nothing to do with attraction but if you are also not sexually compatible then you really are not attracted. On the other hand sex should not be the only bond holding together a relationship either just as looks shouldn't be. If you love his personality, the way he treats you and can have a statisfying sexual relationship (b/c this is also an expression of love) what difference does it make what they look like? Just something to thing about!
2007-01-15 04:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by hair2811 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all .. its a really wonderful question that you have asked. Yes its true that true love exists without attraction. True love is nothing but loving a person for what he/she is rather than how he/she looks. Physical attraction is nothing but enchantment. You dont look the same after 15 years as you look now but your personality is as it has been all through and will remain the same through out your life. Wishing you all the best... and hope i could do my best to answer your question.
2007-01-15 04:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you think you can be with him and not cheat on him, then you should make a commitment to do so. When you're young you think you can 'have it all' with one person. I can't tell you how many 'nice guys' I passed over looking for someone I was hot for. I'm 40 now, divorced and I now see the error of my ways. I will jump at my next chance for a decent man, no matter what the attraction level. (well, he should have good hygiene.. ;-)
2007-01-15 03:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by sheila b 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have a friend who was in a relationship so much similar to yours and let me tell u what happend this man loved her for years and she cheated and cheated and did him so bad and when he got fed up he left her and married someone else and my friend was so heart broken she shedded tears because she really did care for him but she felt that she could do anything she wanted to do to him and he wouldn't leave her but he did and guess what she ended up begging him back and he did come back because he married someone else out of spite to hurt her the moral of the story treat people like u want to be treated if the guy is good to u be good to him it will carry the relationship a long way and sex isn't everything and don't take this the wrong way but u have some growing up to do also
2007-01-15 04:09:42 · answer #8 · answered by lilsis2576 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
looks aint everything i mean yeah it would be nice to find a good looking man and all but wouldnt u rather have someone that has more than looks the guy im messing with everyone wonders why but i told them its not what it is there is just something about him i like and if u love this guy like u say u do his looks really shouldnt matter unless u are trying to impress someone for some odd reason
2007-01-15 03:59:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Attraction. especially for girls is not based only upon looks, personality is what can cause attraction
And one thing attraction is never a choice, it just happens unconciously
2007-01-15 06:04:51 · answer #10 · answered by arabontheloose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋