is she cheating on me?

Question

My GF met a guy during an out of town training and continued conversating via phone with him afterwards and never told me about him. I suspected she met someone while in training, because she became aggressive with me. I checked her phone and found out they were having long conversations with each other late at night. I confronted her and she claimed he was just a friend and that she will stop talking to him. However, I checked her phone records a few weeks later and found out she continued talking to him and infact they stayed as long as 138 mins on the phone together. She deletes the calls they made to each other from her phone. I was only able to get the records through her billing statement. I am confused, my mind tells me she is or was going to cheat on me if I hadn't intervened. I have confronted her and she claims that there was nothing going on that she was stupid to start talking to him again and doesn;t want to lose me. I am not sure I can trust her again

Answer 1

If she isn't cheating yet she has plans too, don't trust her .

Answer 2

Well one thing 4 sure is that she is weak and a liar. U need 2 think really hard what is it u want because she doesn't seem 2 b sure of what she wants. She is weak because she started 2 talk 2 this guy again what makes u think she won't continue. Think about what u want in life and if she is what u want. What in the world would she have 2 talk 2 a stranger about for 138 mins. come on something else is up and u need 2 find out be 4 u get played. Sorry 2 sound so cruel but it's the truth.

Answer 3

Well my boyfriend was cheating on me and actually went as far as getting a tracfone so he could call this girl so when he told me he was cheating because he didnt think he wanted to be with me anymore I didnt buy it. But, if she knows you will have access to the phone records and she is still doing it than maybe its nothing or maybe she is not tryng to cover her tracks. But I will say from past experience it will make her mad if she thinks you are always checking up on her and yes her deleting it could be just to avoid a fight, but to have that long of a conversation with another man behind your back does not seem right to me! My man would leave me in a minute if I was doing that.

Answer 4

The fact that she is trying to hide it from you brings up the red flags for me.
Lying and telling you she has stopped and then proceeded to do it again, also raises questions.
She obviously has a long distance relationship with him, even if it is by phone.
It sounds like he is with someone else too, otherwise she would be making frequent trips without you to meet up with him.
If there is not respect, honor and truth in a relationship, then you have nothing.
You are going to keep reacting to her shenanigans and there will likely be a blow up. She sounds like she is intent on continuing this charade as long as she can and keep you at home with the fire burning.
I am afraid that I could not continue in a relationship like this. The deceit would kill my spirit and the emotional turmoil is something you do not deserve.
I think she should be moving on and so should you.

Answer 5

You obviously already know that she has done 'something' with this person. It also depends on what your definition of 'cheating' is. Out of experience, if the other person has become aggressive then it is apparent that she has started to develop feelings for this person. You're best bet is to trust your own intuition and end it now. You mustn't give her an ultimatum. If she really wanted to talk for um-teen minutes to someone, she could've called or talked to you. You can already tell that you don't trust her so stop torturing yourself by wondering 'what if'. Good luck!

Answer 6

you do not have a conversation over 100 minutes long with "just a friend". Something happened between them to make her want to keep in touch. If you really want to learn the truth, you should call the guy up yourself and just be straight out and ask him!!! Seems like that's the only way you will get the truth, after that, you should know what to do. Good luck!

Answer 7

Definitely a trust issue here. She is going behind your back and that is not good. At this point it will be hard for you to trust her about this guy.

It could spell the end of your relationship. Sounds like she is moving on.

By the way stop going through her mail it is as unhealthy for the relationship as her sneaking phone calls. This time it may have saved you from cheating, but next time there may not be anything going on but she may feel her privacy is violated and that you are too controlling and bounce you.

Answer 8

Not necessarily cheating physically on you but a definite on the mental part. Sounds to me like she met someone that caught more than just her attention, when she lied to you about the phone conversations the relationship with this new fella was put on the same grounds as cheating on you. To be blunt, if she goes off on training sessions and meets guys she lies to you about then she does not love you and it is not someone that is to be trusted. I personally would not trust her again.

Answer 9

Trust is huge and for some people its damn hard. My GF honestly doesn't trust me very much. I've been on both sides of the fence but I've never ever cheated. I used to let her go through my phone and had no problems giving up friendships with girls I knew before I met her just to make her happy and secure and nothing much changed because after a while she would think everthing I did was suspicious. This much I can tell you I love my GF with all my heart and the times when I wanted most to pick up a phone and talk to one of my female friends was when I felt my GF thought the worse of me and would never appreciate me or see me as one of my friends did. Right now things between me and her are undefined. She broke up with me but we still talk and neither of us are seeing anyone else or even talking to someone else (at least not on my part).
If you love your girlfriend and she's a big part of your life you need to let her know what you are feeling and maybe even suggest breaking up and staying friends until you have time to let things settle. Don't act differently with her though. Don't get cold on her if you really love her. Let her know you have strong feelings for her and that you want something with her but that her actions have led you to conclude its time to step off and see if she really is going to be faithful to you and not talk to new single guys. You need to be the one she turns to on the phone and in life. On your part make sure you are not holding back and that you're loving her and being affectionate to her with all you have. She's talking to someone else either cuz she's a flirt and needs constant attention or she's talking to someone else because she doesn't feel you see her the way she wants to be seen and she's not vibing with you. Either way if she truly loves you, she will not hurt you and you need to let her know that if she's looking to talk to someone else she IS HURTING you and that just can't be. In that scenario break ups suck but you both have to find out if you really want to be in a relationship with fights and lack of trust and lack of loyalty.

Answer 10

She might really just enjoy talking to him. Having a friend you can talk to for that long is important.
If you don't trust her, then you should not be with her.
I would quit checking her phone and phone bills, not only is that an invasion of privacy, but it's going to push her away.
It's important she feels comfortable telling you about her conversations with him, so next time, don't jump to conclusions...and LEAVE THE PHONE RECORDS ALONE!

Answer 11

Yea sorry, but even if she isnt "hooking up" with him, it still seems like emotionally she is cheating on you. Before you just break-up, thell her what you know, say that its difficult for you to believe and you want to trust her. You are going to have to rebuild that trust. Now that Ive though about it dude, I would just break-up, you dont need the drama! Go back out to the club and have fun! Cause it will all be over soon enough.