I am recently engaged. (This past year) I have cut out any friends that threatened my current relationship. I live in a tiny town where everyone knows most everyone. A girlfriend sided with his X-fiance and said only mean things about my BF to me (she didn't even know my BF)- I cut her out of my life because her negativity was caustic and threatened my relationship. His X fiance was jealous of me-- giving me death wish looks in public. I thought he should cut her out because she was hateful to me, as was my friend to him. BF did- then demanded that I cut out my X BF who has never acted inapropriatly, I was never in-love with- nor engaged too, who I still have a platonic relationship with. Fiance is jealous because X has seen me naked- Even though he trusts me, he cant stand X spending any time with me on the phone or in public. He says if it hurts him for any reason- I should give up my X. I feel he is being CONTROLING because it isn't about me or any real threat to our relationship.
2007-01-15 03:14:55 · 6 answers · asked by lifesweetcandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
for exes, or anyone for that matter, you should cut them out if there are any negative feelings towards you or your fiance. if you are capable of maintaining a platonic friendship with an ex, then good for you, because most people can't. this is something that your fiance is just going to have to deal with. it sounds like he's been screwed around on before, and he's just trying to keep that from happening with you. perhaps you could find a compromise, such as only seeing your ex when others are present, so your fiance won't fear you having alone time with him, then hopefully in time he will build up his trust.
2007-01-15 03:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just for arguments sake, it might be best to cut any contact off that is threatening your relationship that you have between you and your fiance, that way nothing can get started and cause a break up between you and your fiance. This friend you have is not a very good one at that for the simple fact that if he is being controlling then it could cause more of a problem then you would want to deal with and you don't nedd any drama or anything weighing you down. I think you are doing right in this case to cease all contact if you can help it and start fresh, but tell this person that you think they are controlling and that you want to end it and why. That way the cant find anything to get you back on.
2007-01-15 03:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Xs can really be friends for either or you. You never know the other person's intention. You should never make you mate feel like you might be discussing personal details of you relationship with an X especially if he saw you naked. If you relationship means a lot to you it should be easy to honor the request because you never know the X might have regrets and get to the point where he starts to like you for more than a friend. If you create that distance now, you eliminate problems for yourself in the future. Though we all want to get along, if he did it for you no matter how insignificant the relationship may have been since he saw you naked you need to let that friendship go.
2007-01-15 03:22:19 · answer #3 · answered by Marcella D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think both of you need to sit down and rethink your lives. You should be able to get married and keep all of your friends. You can be in a relationships and maintain relationships that are seperate.
Ex's are a problem. Usually when you get into a relationship you do not need to deal with the ex. However this is something you two should discuss and then respect each other's position. If he is uncomfortable, then you should be sure to see your ex only within groups. Your fiance should respect this compromise.
2007-01-15 03:20:53 · answer #4 · answered by rcbricker33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've been to quick to cut people out of your life! Because someone said something bad about your boyfriend, it was a threat to your relationship??? You sound crazy and your boyfriend is a control nut! Sounds like you'll make a fine pair!
2007-01-15 03:20:42 · answer #5 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's not just about the ex- just playing devil's advocate, maybe that's what your friends you cut out of your life were trying to tell you. It's pretty common to interpret that as jealousy if you really like someone- you become blind to their faults.
Be careful about cutting out friends- because if your relationship fails then you might find you've got no one left. Eggs, one basket, etc.
Good luck!
2007-01-15 03:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋