Why oh why do some do this???

Question

I am not a deeply religious person, though I have my beliefs in God--I am comfortable with what I believe. My friend however will (about once a year) go though a huge 'spiritual revolution' and get really uber hyped up on God and His power, etc and how he's changed her life. I'm supportive of her beliefs, however she then starts really going in on me and really harping on how great how wonderful--it's like she's attempting to convert me to her brand of religion and when I say no thank you...she gets upset like she's giving me this wonderful gift and how dare I not take it? Like she's forcing her beliefs on me, and if I don't really go "wow, how wonderful, thanks for showing me the light"--I'm wandering aimlessly in the dark. HELP!

She does this with our other friends as well, and they tell her the same thing. Then she pouts and 'punishes' us by not taking our calls for a while. We're all in our 30's and grown women!

Mind you, I do love her dearly, and I'm glad that she has Him in her life...I just do not want to be preached to at the bookstore, the coffee shop, at playdate. I listen, but it does get old after a while.

Answer 1

I think you need to tell your friend how you feel about her constant harping. I don't know how close of a friend you are to her but I think that she needs to know how you feel so it doesn't strain your friendship with her.

I also think that your friend means well, she just needs to mature in what she believes in because forcing and shunning people isn't exactly a good 'witness' to what she is testifying to. Action speaks louder than words.

She won't know until you tell her. (If you haven't already told her, that is)

Just my thoughts.

Answer 2

While it is wrong to "force" one's religious beliefs on another, it is not wrong for one to try. Your friend is excited about her beliefs - so excited is she that she wants everyone she knows to experience the same Spiritual elation she has experienced.

When something good happens to you, do you not try and share it with your friends? Of course you do. It's the same thing with your friend.

Your friend is giving you a wonderful gift. While it is your right to either accept or reject it, perhaps you might consider the fact that your friend is looking out for you and it trying to do what it best, Spiritually speaking.

You claim to be "wandering aimlessly in the dark." Even if you do not intend to adopt her belief system, it might not be a bad idea to let her share it with you. You never know; your friend might lead you from "aimless wandering in the dark" into the light.

However, your friend does seem a little forcful. Tell her that you will allow discussions regarding faith ONLY if she hangs back and is not the least bit forceful. If she does become forcful, tell her this, "Hey, God want's volunteers, not conscripts."

Answer 3

Christianity is ultimately about love. Unfortunately, many people become obsessed by certain readings or misinterpretations. It doesn't sound like your friend is motivated out of love, but out of zeal. I think in this case it sounds more like 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'. Try and convince your friend to join a bible study or some other such thing so that she can get a solid foundation in the basics before she goes off on a zealous tangent. But remember too, that your friend loves you and might just want to share her joy with you. Maybe you could bridge that gap by reading the bible together and maybe talk through some of the parts you don't understand or don't believe. This will strengthen both of you! Keep the communication levels open though.

Answer 4

Sounds like my Aunt, except she goes through this every time I see her. She can't stand the fact I'm Pagan. So she starts her sermon by listing every single bad thing that's ever happened in my life - mostly things I have no control over, like, having to wipe clean my hard drive on my computer because it had an error. She blames it on me "worshiping the devil". I kid you not!

Unfortunately, you can't really quiet the fanatics without offending them. If you've tried every way of being nice to her, pull out the big guns and say: "Look, I'm glad you're having an Epiphany. I understand how you could be excited, but if you're really a friend of mine, you'll respect my beliefs and stop preaching to me."

Answer 5

I do not harp at my friends but I do have a couple that believe they are on the Correct Path and that I am NOT. I always listen to them and expect equal time. \If you are going to do so, you need to be able to place your points and give BIBLICAL REFERENCES to hold up your religious viewpoint. I see nothing wrong with a short religious discussion among friends. I never want a friend to be in the dark about GOD when his/her time comes at the Judgment. I hope that this helps. Have a great week!
Eds

Answer 6

Sit down with her, and have a talk. Let her know that you are not criticizing her, nor belittling her. You have your own beliefs, as do we all, and ones beliefs can't be changed.....unless they want them to be changed, unless they ask for change. Mankind has been killing each other off since the beginning of time because they want for others to believe what they believe.

Shayna~ I believe that is exactly what she is talking about.

Religion is something that someone can not prove, nor disprove. Something one must believe in, have unfaltering faith. Something another can not force upon you, only when you ask, can your beliefs be changed.

It is my personal view that people must have something to believe in, something to strive for. Without something to live for, a greater purpose, what is the reason for living. You will notice it is a common thread in all religions.

Answer 7

Really doesn't sound to me like she's that much of a real friend so not taking your calls may be a good think, you should consider making that a permanent thing. Otherwise, many people gets hyped at different times about God, she'll be fine.

Answer 8

I would probably just keep the focus on her as much as possible. "You know, I'm so happy for you that you've found what works for your beliefs. It's such a personal thing, isn't it? I know I value my beliefs, too, and am very comfortable with how I believe. How lucky are we to each have found what we need from God?" It makes it a little harder to argue with. And if she continues to go on, you just have to make up an excuse. Don't feel guilty!

Answer 9

Your friend means well, but without a doubt she is causing you some inconvenience, but the problem is not her its you? If you knew more about the scriptural back ground of being a true christian then you would not only be able to defend yourself, but help your friend to see her mistakes. If you think her beliefs are wrong then you need to be smart enough to show her. You must be a good friend to her otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question. It might be that you need to brush up on the commands of our Lord. You might need to test your own faith to see that you have the truth of God's purpose for the earth and all humans? For example when you read a scripture it would help to ponder over it. I will give you Two scriptures to ponder over.
Try Mathew 6:9,10 think about what it means, then go to Daniel 2:44 to see what God will do? then think about what your protection will be when these things happen? If you truly need help you can mail me. [e-mail]

Answer 10

Walking with the Lord gives her such an incrediable intense sense of peace, happiness, joy and excitement, unlike any other feeling. We are designed to share anything that gives us so much. We fill up and pour out. She is doing a very natural thing and when it is not received the way she wishes, there is a let down. Since you know that it is coming, when it comes, be honest with her... and let her know that you are not there yet... God Bless.

Answer 11

Sounds like she thinks that just because she feels really close to God at a given time that everyone else should feel it, only you don't feel it. She isn't right by the way she is acting. She needs to read the four gospels and the way Jesus acted is the way she needs to learn to act. The things Jesus said wasn't exactly accepted by everyone. But he didn't go off and pout over it. He just kept showing them love as if they never rejected them. This is the way a true Christian should act. Like Jesus did.