If we all mature as we get older how can a 20 year age gap in a relationship work? Music, fashion, sport, current events etc differ in interest for different age groups? As does goin out and getting drunk, going to the local night club etc What is there to talk about?
2007-01-15 02:51:45 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Age doesn't matter, its the differences that make things interesting :)
2007-01-15 02:55:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It matters less as you age, but I think maturity and life experience play a large, if mainly hidden part in our relationships.
I've dated a number of younger guys (never more than 5 years gap though, so not like the 20 year thing!) and have found, now I'm seeing a guy 7 years my senior, that it does make a huge difference.
I'd pick a man over a boy any day, and however lovely and mature-for-their- age they seem, they can never quite measure up to someone your own age. For some reason it seems better the other way around, and not just for me!
There's something nice too about being able to reminisce about the same group of childhood experiences, and once the age gap it over 10 years, that puts you in a different childhood/teenage years bracket, so it's harder to connect.
Having said all that, if you really get on with each other, have the same interests, sufficient maturity, and love each other... who cares?
2007-01-15 03:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by SilverSongster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a level of maturity involved when such an age gap is present.
We wonder how a 20 old can relate to a 40 year old? I'm 25 and I have always related better with adults because I've never enjoyed people my own age. Everyone is so whiny about trivial things instead of hunkering down and just accepting life as it is.
I'm not saying that every 20 plus gap is going to work. Those relationships have a lot to accomplish and overcome before they can survive.
Wisdom knows no age either. You can 70 years old (like my Grandfather) and still be foolish. It is the experiences in life and the lessons we learn in them that mold us and shape us in our wisdom and understanding.
Best of luck,
Amanda
(personal note and I'll be done: for myself I enjoy older adults because they can, but not all, have a better understanding about life. They've been there and done that so why not try and glean from them? It's not true about every young woman who is with an older man that she is only with him for his money. True love can exist for them, and those who see this and despise it are jealous because they themselves don't have the kind of relationship where there's true love and devotion.
So long as the the younger person is of legal age and with the consent of their parents I see nothing wrong with a 20 year plus gap in a relationship. If it is in God's will then it is good!)
2007-01-15 03:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by mandaboate_2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it can work if the age difference is between more mature adults. Say maybe two people where one is in their 30's the other in their 50's and looks young for their age. Other wise, if the woman is the older one she just looks like his mother, if the man is the older one he looks like her father. This can be embarassing for both when people think your boyfriend/girlfriend is your mother or your father. Older men, say in their 50's can't have sex like they use to, (not all but a lot of them)plus they don't have the physical energy they use to and a young woman could wear them down. Same goes with an older woman and a younger man. This usually works if the younger person is not that active and the older person is more active then usual for their age. Plus the younger person is very mature for their age and the older person is immature. Then I believe it can work.
2007-01-15 03:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is nearly 20 years older than me and we have been happily married for 13 years. We find many things to talk about and have many things in common. Two of our friends also have large age gaps in between their and their partners ages. Ones Aged 40ish and dates girls of 18-24 he says the older ones are OK, but some of the younger ones tend to be pretty to look at but very boring to talk to. The other one is 20 and dating a woman aged 48 (she is very attractive and looks younger than her age) they are very happy. Although she does worry that she will not be able to give him children. Although he Say's he does not want any children yet anyway. I guess this may be a problem later on when he does want children. So i guess it all depends on the individuals involved. How mature they are etc.
2007-01-17 22:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by Ruby D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you're talking about a romantic relationship. I have plenty of friends who are 20 years older than me - work colleagues mostly.
A 20 year age gap in a romantic relationship would be tough to handle. I'm 36, and couldn't imagine being with someone either 20 years older than me or 20 years older than me. 20 years younger would be 16 - no way I could deal with that, even if I wanted to. 20 years older would be 56 - and by then many people are thinking toward retirement and aren't as physically active as they were in their 30's.
I just don't see how it could possibly work.
2007-01-15 02:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it is a issue ... take it frm me i know im 40 and have a 20yr old who is adament she is deeply in luv?
this maybe a good thing in the initial stage, but who at 20 knows who/what it is he/she wants? people generally dont know who they are till mid 20's so personality / characters change. This sis not so evident the older you get .. ie say 30 versus 50, by this time yr more comfortable in yr skin and who it is you are.
Im no average 40yr old either, absolutely love trance and hard house etc, my outlook is of the younger persuasion, the other problem i encounter is that i feel like a father figure etc, we all know what the outcome will be eventually they will leave for someone who is younger has the same wavelength and penultimately the same things etc
2007-01-15 03:32:44 · answer #7 · answered by conrad t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think when one's 60 and the other's 80 there would be a problem. When you're 60 you are still active (sexually and physically) but when you're 80 there is a big difference in energy levels and you're alot more dependent on others...
The same could be said berween a 40 year old and a 60 year old. Some might even consider you a bit warped, if you're 40 and shagging old biddies.
I don't know... i don't see age differences as a problem, but it won't be easy.
2007-01-15 03:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many will say "age is just a number" but I disagree...age can definitely be a factor, especially when the gap is rather large. Over 10 yrs distance there is a great increase in liklihood the parties are at different places in life, have had different life experiences, are at different places in their career, will be less likely to have a lot in common, etc.
Also, there are often ulterior motives...the older person is often looking to recapture their youth, or to show off to others that younger people find them attractive...the younger person may be looking for security or a parent-type figure to help take care of them versus more of an equal partner...
Not saying it can't work, but large age gaps can bring challenges that tend not to exist when people date those closer to their own age.
2007-01-15 02:57:05 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm 30 and my GF is 19. Age is so not an issue. What is there to talk about? What could we have in common? EVERTYTHING!
We're both artists. I'm in the fashion/graphic design feild and she's going into fashion..i already know the ropes and help her out giving her a step above everyone else. our minds are alike and we have 3-4 hour long convos...we've been togetehr for almost a year and everyday seems like it was the first. I go out with her on weekends I love going out..so dont go generalizing thats 30 yr olds are like 90 yr olds...30 is the new 20
2007-01-15 02:55:54 · answer #10 · answered by V P 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO.
Not all twenty year olds are into stereotypic intersts that you mention.
Some life experiences make 20 year olds need an older person and vice versa!
Couples talk about each other and that is the interest! without that interest the relationship dies!
Plus you don't choose who you fall in love with, So don't analyse relationships - enjoy them!
You can only be in love with one person at a time, and if that person happens to be older than you - then that is the way it is!
If you love some one and then deny being with them the only course in your life is misery!
Look around and you'll find that the people who have denied themselves of their true love are very bitter and unhappy!
2007-01-15 03:06:04 · answer #11 · answered by kiku 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋