My cousin and his fiance are having a wedding in North Carolina (where her family is) on July 20th. My fiance and I are having our wedding in Wisconsin (where our family is) on July 7th. Is it rude to choose that date when it is so close to their's? We chose this date because it was the only opening they at the reception hall we choose. And we are due to have a baby in August. My other cousin is having her wedding on August 4th, which is two weeks from the 20th also. My cousin's fiance isn't complaining about their's, just ours because it happens to be in the same month. Should we change all our plans?
2007-01-15 02:29:29 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My family on my father's side (my cousin's family also) all live within 30 miles of our reception site. They only have to travel to attend my cousin's wedding. Which they will have two weeks to do. We aren't having any bridesmaids or groomsman. It's just going to be a small ceremony with a large reception afterwards. And I don't believe many of them are going to travel to my cousin's wedding. My uncle was married in Florida (where his wife's family lives) and nobody went down there to see him get married. Not even his 3 brothers and his sister (my aunt and uncles). My cousin is still going to have a party in Wisconsin to celebrate. And if the tables were turned and my cousin did the same thing to me, I would not care. I would be happy for my cousin. My cousin doesn't care at all, it's just his fiance. And our pregnancy was planned, we were already engaged at the time, and now we just want to get the wedding over with before we are too busy with our new baby.
2007-01-15 06:12:02 · update #1
It's not wrong, you shouldn't change your plans. My fiance and I have been planning our wedding for a year and a half, we will be married in June. We picked a time that would be most convenient for us from what was available at the place we wanted. My cousin just got engaged (between Thanksgiving and Christmas) and is getting married the week after us. Our family is psyched, and I am sooo happy for my cousin. Of course, I am giving them crap because they picked a day we won't be able to attend (we'll be on our honeymoon) but I don't expect them, and wouldn't want them, to change their plans. It's all about what's available, really.
Your cousin's fiance sounds like she wants the world to revolve around her. Sorry, but it doesn't happen that way.
2007-01-15 03:33:22 · answer #1 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's absolutely not wrong or rude to go with the date you have planned, and you should change your plans - it's rude of her to complain about it.
Two weeks is a good amount of time - and I can do you one better: we went to two weddings in one weekend last summer (although in the same city), both for my fiance's cousins. They had both independently picked the Saturday of a long weekend in August (the groom of one wedding and the bride of another are first cousins). When one of the aunts found out about it, she insisted that one couple had to change plans - they have a large extended family (7 aunts and 2 uncles), and all the aunts would want to attend both. They decided on the Monday because that's what was available, and some people were already coming from out of town.
There was some mild complaining from the extended family (about having to get two outfits for one weekend, not being able to go away on the long weekend, etc.), but it worked out fine. In fact, including these weddings, a friend's, and my cousin's, we actually attended four weddings within four weeks.
Don't worry about it - and congratulations!
2007-01-15 03:48:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only see a problem in terms of the guests being able to come. Planning for a trip usually take a long time and money. To have them in two or three different states within a matter of weeks will make familiy members "choose" which one(s) to attend.
If you dont mind your whole family being able to show up, then by all means keep your wedding date planned for the date it originally was.
You mentioned that you are pregnant and expecting in August, and the wedding is in July. With the impending birth of your child, you may (only if you want) either push it up or push it out until after the birth. That way you can feel your best!
But honestly, your wedding is planned first. Either they deal with it or get over it...
2007-01-15 04:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a problem at all. I ran in to a very similar situation, with friends and family. We got married on Aug. 19th, and my good friend, whose wedding I was in, got married July 29th. Another of our friends got married on the 13th of August, and my cousin got married a month later, Sept. 30th. It can be a little taxing on the guest, if they're invited to both weddings, but as long as you guys know that it wasn't planned to steal the limelight, then you should go with what you've set. Try to explain this as best, you can, but you have to do what works for you two. And look at the bright side. You guys can plan together, and help eliminate some of the stress. And you could even share some items to cut down the expenses too. My friend and I used the same veil, and left over decorations, candles, etc, are all reusable. Try your best to make peace, but remember, ultimately, it's about you and your fiance! Congratulations and good luck!
2007-01-15 04:52:46 · answer #4 · answered by prplluva 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I 100% disagree with the other answerers. Imagine if the situations were reversed? If your cousin KNEW when your wedding date was and then scheduled THEIR wedding 2 weeks earlier, 2000 miles away.
Yes, I think it's rude and selfish if you will have lots of overlapping family and friends. If you were irresponsible enough to get pregnant and now have to rush your wedding, that's not your cousin's problem and it shouldn't affect her wedding.
In all honesty, people are probably going to choose one or the other if they don't live within 3 driving hours of either wedding. The only way to rectify this would be to move the wedding date or to invite only those who live near you. This way you won't affect her wedding.
You can start asking around to people who would have to travel to both weddings and honestly have them tell you if they will still travel to both. Ask them what they would plan on doing. If ANY reasonable amount of them say "well, we would have gone to both, but now we'll have to choose because we can't take that much time off work in a month," then you have to be the better person and either let them off the hook or move the wedding date.
I'd be furious if someone did this to me. It's just too much to expect people who will travel to attend both weddings. And they shouldn't be forced to choose.
2007-01-15 05:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no such thing as an appropriate time to separate two family marriages. They have theirs, and you have yours. People should be glad they are not on the same day or on consecutive weekends! Besides -- everyone knows a Wisconsin wedding reception is much more fun than a North Carolina reception!!!
It is YOUR wedding -- not the guests' wedding! Good luck!
2007-01-15 02:34:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, girl, you should change your date. Not because of your cousin's wedding, but because you better hurry up and get married NOW! Give your babe a fighting chance at entering the world into a loving, happy family - not one stressed out at the wedding having been a month before.
2007-01-15 10:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. You have a right to schedule your reception whenever you want. It will be up the the family members whether to go to both, either or none. Your cousins fear stems from the fact yours is prior to his and if members go to yours may not be able to attend his. That should not be your problem, focus on your own happiness at this time and good luck!
2007-01-15 02:36:11 · answer #8 · answered by sassywv 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It it not incorrect to schedule these two weddings closely.
If you scheduled them in the same city, within a few days of each other, choosing the same attendants, and tried to upstage each other, I would say there is a problem, but you have very valid reasons for choosing your date.
Stop worrying about something that hasn't happened, enjoy this wonderful time, and have your wedding as scheduled.
2007-01-15 02:54:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do what you want to do - if this is the date that was open, then go with it. Just know that your cousin and his fiance may not be able to take time off work to come to yours, with their wedding coming up so soon afterwards.
2007-01-15 02:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by khy8w2004 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋