I've been dating my boyfriend for about four months. We met on our first night at university and have been going out since. We live in the same halls, meaning we see each other all the time. This has become a bit of a problem..because things have gone so fast (we theoretically live together already, we've been on holiday, we spent lots of time together and know more about each other than you can imagine) it now feels a bit like we've hit a dead end and everything is a bit like a routine. We don't have exciting new things to talk about, sex is good but always the same, we go out on very similar dates. We've talked about it and decided we can do something about the last two points i mentioned, but not too sure about the first. Is the relationship doomed or do you, like me, think that if we get used to the fact that relationships don't stay exciting forever but learn to appreciate the stability, it can be ok? We both love each other and want it to work out. I'm so scared it'll end!
2007-01-15 02:25:19 · 11 answers · asked by bballbabe8706 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like a little breathing space is required. maybe spend a bit more time with your other friends. that way when you get back together you'll have other stuff to talk about.
It is normal to go thought these periods from time to time. I'd try not to worry or force things because you two are in love so like you say it will work its way out. Sounds as if this has been a very intense four months, and it is easy to get burnout in a relationship this way. just give yourselves a break and try not to be all doom and gloom, or become too clingy.
The best sex comes from one enjoying the pleasure that the other is receiving (as I've just discovered!). Be as selfless as possible and spend a whole night finding/teasing/enjoying/pleasuring his erotic zones. Have a go at swapping who takes control of the bedroom play, you may find that you both enjoy it more when he is in charge or visa versa. Also role play can be a fantastic experience, I was very unsure when this was first mentioned to me. My current partner has taught me to take time over sex, appreciate it, appreciate the way he looks at your body and enjoy the way his skin feels to your touch. With my ex it was like we were in a blooming race to get it over and done with. There is so much pleasure to seek in just touching each other, without trying to reach the 'goal'.
Have fun and really it's nothing to worry about :-D
2007-01-15 02:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Little miss naughty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will get your variety. Being in college you probably won't end up living in the same dormitory next year, you will always be taking different classes.
Make it a point to hang out with your friends and do other things. That way when you get to catch up with your boyfriend it is with new experiences.
And also, I have been bored at some point in every relationship I have ever had. I am getting married soon, and I think that mundane details become more important once you have been together for a while. Perhaps because you actually give a crap if your long term significant other gets a parking ticket. etc. In other relationships if some girl had told me about her parking ticket I would have walked out of the room for sheer boredom.
Just a personal thought.
2007-01-15 02:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by Morty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have had four months of what I have had for 30 years. And now we are asking the very question you pose. If you are questioning so soon the value you receive from this relationship then you are just "getting comfortable" and are not ready to commit to anything even remotely permanent. It sounds to me like you have found a very good friend in each other. So did we. Your very last sentence says it all...you are scared. What if you just release the fear and try to listen to the feelings beneath your panic. Only you can know how you really feel. Good luck to you both. I do not know what lies ahead for us but we are not letting fear direct us this time.
2007-01-15 02:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by windsorcaper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 months is a drop in the ocean! If it was as good as you might think it is you wouldn't be struggling already. If it was meant to be you'd still be bubbling with excitement. Try 4 years, no, try ten years, then it might need a revamp! You should maybe knock it on the head and move on, who wants a relationship at college anyway - least of all a serious one. Be blahzay about it before you both feel obliged to stay together rather than want to stay together. Good luck!
2007-01-15 02:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by roskolewis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're very youthful and you will desire to be unfastened to discover existence and all kit has to grant. Your fella may be stressful approximately what's going to happen; what he would omit out on; or that he merits the prize earlier he is going simply by fact he's waited for soooo long; that's quite a few reasons yet none of which will desire to undertaking you until you prefer to proceed the relationship. ask your self, do I see myself with this guy in 5 years? 10 years? if the respond isn't any then carry real on your ideals. evaluate in case you have been relatively meant to be jointly you wouldnt be asking this and you wouldnt have "run" out of issues to assert to a minimum of one yet another...i think of you already be responsive to the solutions and merely choose confirmation. appropriate needs!
2016-10-20 05:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by kigar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic, it doesn't necessarily mean that the spark has gone, just relax and get used to enjoying each others company without the conversation, i had just the same thing and then i realised that she was just a kind of chilled out girl and we learned to sit and be content with each others company, the conversation returned again but above and we settled into a happy medium, as i have said, don't panic!!
2007-01-15 03:00:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah the same thing has happened to me, the trick is to do things separately (not all the time) say he hangs around with his mate's a few nights & you vice versa. Then when you see each other, you'll be looking forward to it & you'll have things to talk about. I think you'll be fine.
2007-01-15 03:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by pinkydixie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you use to do in the beginning? I feel that I get complacent and don't go out to new places like we used to in the beginning. Try for variety.
2007-01-15 02:29:43 · answer #8 · answered by plant a tree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey just chill out and have good time. there's plenty of time to worry about relationships later in life.
2007-01-15 03:55:53 · answer #9 · answered by robert x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, this is normal.....slog through it eventually one of you will get a life and then will have something new to talk about.
2007-01-15 02:30:46 · answer #10 · answered by raewrn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋