i'm looking for some funny quotes or sayings or jokes to put in my profile! any ones you know or you made up websites, movie quotes anything REALLY funny
2007-01-15 01:52:58 · 8 answers · asked by Jay 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
My all time favorite quote is from "Friends" when Joey and Chandler accidentally lose Ben and have to decide which baby is Ben:
Chandler: Ok heads or tails
Joey: oh, oh, oh Heads!
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something.
Joey: Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-a** clowns came to your birthday party?
2007-01-15 02:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about some deep thoughts by Jack Handy:
1. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
2. I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
3. I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
3. I'd rather be rich than stupid.
4. When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
5. Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
Or bumper stickers
1. He who laughs last thinks slowest!
2. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
3. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
4. You! Off my planet!
5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
2007-01-15 02:27:44 · answer #2 · answered by ecogeek4ever 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I really have some for you [: all of us won't be able to be heroes. someone has to sit down on the perimeters and clap as they flow with information from. do not save on with in my footsteps, because I run into countless walls. this isn't burger king, you won't be able to have it your way. McDonald’s presented they are going to be including 25 p.c. better beef to their hamburgers. subsequently, McDonald’s hamburgers will now function 25 p.c. beef.” a sparkling study with information from the american medical association shows that having sex does not set off a heart attack — it’s getting stuck having sex that triggers the heart attack.” adult males are like outhosues. each and each and every of the solid ones are taken and each and each and every of the undesirable ones are complete of crap Tragedy is when I decrease my finger. Comedy is once you walk into an open sewer and die. desire those helped [:
2016-12-02 07:33:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard some of the cheesiest pick-up lines out there.
Try to add some of those to your profile.
You can find them all over the net too.
2007-01-15 02:32:02 · answer #4 · answered by prizefyter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's heaps around check out
funquotes.witticism.org
www.comedy-zone.net/guide/quotes.htm
www.amusingquotes.com
2007-01-15 02:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by perthboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sorry I don't. Maybe you should look under Yo mamma is so stupid? I think the asker gave the address from where are the jokes from. Try that. I'm sorry I didn't answer your question so good. Good luck in finding your answer.
2007-01-15 02:04:51 · answer #6 · answered by Joka B 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
You don't have to tell a lie to tell the truth. Thats about it for me.
2007-01-15 02:46:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to http://www.amusingquotes.com/ or search Google
2007-01-15 02:54:14 · answer #8 · answered by Space Cadet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋