Protective parents... why not teach kids to protect self?

Question

If parents want to protect their kids why dont they adopt the train kids how to protect themselves policy.

Ie teach the kid to be street wise, teach it to fight and fight adults, swim, handle relationships etc.

Why keep a kid innocent ie stupid. Surely streetwise is better?

ie www.kravmaga.co.uk as opposed to judo.

Or is it more about control?

Do you not realise that it can cause incredible damage where the kid will grow up unable to fit in with peers or look after self in uni or cope? or end up stuck with you till 30 maybe 40?

And you cant be there all the time so why not teach it to look after self.

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Not saying become a bully more to be able to fight off peadophiles, rapists, muggers...


And being streetwise means hopefully not getting to that point or how to talk your way out of it.

Innocence means get into cars with strangers

My protective meaning more overprotective ie as they get to mid teens not letting them hang out, get boy or girl friends, go clubbing etc..

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By not fitting in I mean if they dont get boy and girlfriends, cant go to parties, cant go clubbing etc...

not just as kids but some partents are like that with 17, and 18 year olds

Part of it is deterant.

If people know your kid can fight, then they may be less likly to mess with him or her.

Also if good they can get somone in some kind of pain lock and convince them to to take things further.
Plus in the case of say a rapist or one of these psychos who wants to knife people for spilling a drink, the kid may not be able to avoid a fight and in that kind of situation there are no rules but you want your kid to be able to walk away alive.


Run away skills would also come into it and avoiding fighting those looking for a fight


it maybe you kid is the one who protects another., or saves another.

Answer 1

I agree with you 100%. We teach our children not to get in cars with strangers, we teach them how to swim so they don't drown etc.. yet most parents don't teach their children how to protect themselves from things like school bullies.
Years ago (like back in the 50's), father's did take their children outside and teach them how to 'handle themselves' in a confrontation.
I don't want my children fighting but I know sometimes you can't walk away. They know how to handle themselves and will take care of the problem theirselves.
As far as the relationship stuff, they're still learning... it's a life long education :)

Answer 2

I understand what you're saying. I have a 5 year old and I have taught her what to do or say if a stranger tries to pick her up. But I've also taught her how to resolve a conflict without hitting.

People should not keep their kids 'stupid'... but innocent is not the same as stupid. You can know how the world works and still be innocent. If a parent doesn't know how to be 'street wise', they can't teach it to their kids.

This is the way of the world: If you need to know something, in MOST cases, life will teach it to you. You don't need to be 'streetwise' if you don't live on rough streets.

Everyone's doing the best with what they've learned in life. Give parents a break every once in a while.

Answer 3

Hey, I completely agree with you in theory, but there ain't no instruction manual that comes with kids, and most parents today are not equipped to teach anything.

Unfortunately, some years ago, big companies found out they can hire part-time people and not pay any benefits, but pay lower wages to get their jobs done. So many families, lots of them single parent, have parent(s) who work 2 or 3 jobs just to make enough to feed the children.

On top of that, even for the conscientous parents, the government, the kids, big business and technology keep finding ways to circumvent parental influence. Parents don't learn this stuff until much later.

Then there are parents who did not grow up fighting, nor in confrontational invironments. And if you haven't noticed, you might be the only kid who is bright enough to understand that parents have a lot that might be taught, but most kids know it all right out of the womb, so they don't even want to hear what parents say.

Answer 4

Why do you think that protective parents don't want their kids to learn how to defend themselves? As you have suggested, it seems like common sense to have one's child learn some self-defense if the parent is protective.

I am one of those paranoid parents. The world is much crazier and selfish now than when I was a kid. I don't shelter my daughter though. She'll never be able to care for herself that way, and I know that. Yes, she is expected to let us know where she is going to be at all times (as much as possible or reasonable), but I don't hold her hand or keep her home anymore.

When she was younger she was more vulnerable. Her size, comprehension level, etc made for a different "set of rules". Naturally, she has grown mentaly as well as physically over the years. As she has learned more about protecting herself and has been able to demonstrate the ability to at least try to use this knowledge/capability effectively we have stepped back a little at a time.

Being protective of one's children does not necessarily mean the parents lock their chldren away from the world.

Answer 5

It's hard to strike an even balance. Some things are best learned from the parents and some things are learned when you're out on your own. Sometimes fighting is not the answer...go ask a probation or parole officer. It's about smart decisions, and hopefully that's what parents are trying to teach their kids. How many kids have you raised???

Answer 6

Certainly I want my son to learn to stick up for himself and know self defense to a point, but I don't want him to be encouraged to fight because someone throws a punch or calls him a name. I want him to use self defense for just that...self defense. He can be the bigger person and walk away from a physical fight. I do not want my son to be street smart like so many kids I see now who end up stealing to survive and fighting all the time and hooked on drugs. There is a balance between letting your child fight their own battles and helping them through the battles. As parents we need to certainly teach them and protect them, but as they get older let them learn from mistakes and grow to have confidence in themselves, thus they begin to know how to cope in situations without their parents there all the time. However we as parents also play a roll in giving them that confidence by building them up and teaching them how to handle situations with maturity and responsibility.

Answer 7

A lot of people don't want their kids to learn to fight. My niece takes karate classes and is doing great in them...she just passed her first test for one of her belts. When my son is old enough (He's only 2 now) my husband and I are going to sign him up for karate too. I do want him to be able to protect himself, but I don't want him to be a bully either.

Answer 8

my kids will not be unable to fit in with thier peers if i dont teach them to fight????? i want my kids to grow up with respect not violence but yet know how to stick up for themselves when needed....you cant really teach someone to grow up and be able to "handle relationships" an innocent kid is not a stupid kid an innocent kid is the one who is not going to grow up in jail like some of the other kids who were taught to be violent

Answer 9

that has been my policy from the beginning thanks it is nice to know someone feels the same way