My bf and I are planning on having a family. He told me that he wants to live with me. He told me that when he gets in his company's union that we will move in together but then he told he he really dont want to leave his grandmother by herself. Now I have no problem with that, but I was hoping we can be together alone. Instead he wants me to move in with him, his grandmother, sister and her baby and knowing the fact we may have an addition to the family. I am like " I dont think So"- it would be so crowded. But then a few days later he told me to start looking for an apartment for us. Which puts me back to square one- confused. I son't know what I should do. Should I continue our plan? Should I get my own place and not wait for him? What do you think about my problem?
I have no problem with his sister. I knew her years ago infact I was friends with her and didn't know that they were brother and sisters, but living with his grandmother I may feel weird because i feel she dont like me
2007-01-15 00:58:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh yeah she is not to happy with me spending the nigth or staying late in his room. So please see it from my side also. I am 23 he is 24
2007-01-15 01:00:10 · update #1
Before starting a family you need to become more independent, both of you. Do you have a job? You seem to be putting all of the decision-making on him. All you need is one little thing from him to "start a family". Before moving forward with your plan, you need to get your thinking clear - YOU will be the one who ends up having to make most of the decisions about the baby - YOU will ALWAYS be responsible for your own life and your baby's life. It doesn't sound like he's capable or willing to think of the bigger picture and someone is going to have to. I think you both sound way too young to start a family. You can't even take the responsibility of living independently! Before saddling yourself with a baby and an immature partner, strike out on your own and make your own place in the world!
2007-01-15 01:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by mustihearthis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, staying with a grandmother would be a terrible idea, actually staying with all those people period is a terrible idea, especially the grandma. Sense she is old she probably has much different beleifs. Yeah, I bet that even though your a couple and past 20, she will treat you like children and make you sleep as far away from each other as possible. It would be a disaster to live there. So talk your bf into getting a place and if he don't do it anyway. I think that if you took off and got your own place, that eventually he would want to follow.
2007-01-15 01:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have started down a path that will not lead to satisfaction of happiness.
1. You are not married. Forget about the morality - this creates a host of legal issues for you and your planned child. Issues like support, insurance, and more.
2. How can you plan on having a family when you haven't done the basics - like living together.
3. Since neither of you have lived alone, you are lightyears from starting a family, in terms of growth. Try - getting a job, getting your own place, and living on your own.
2007-01-15 01:06:42 · answer #3 · answered by cdavidbutler2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about starting a family until all of this is resolved. Once you have been married and living together for a while, you can start having children. Don't bring a child into a relationship that is doomed to fail while it has this many problems. If you guys can't resolve a living issue, you definitely can't resolve bigger issues such as who watches the children, what schools they go to, what religious upbringing they should have, etc. Children should be brought into a realtionship that is already loving and respectful, so that you can love and respect your children.
2007-01-15 01:06:06 · answer #4 · answered by Beth B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should step back and get a little less confused before you start a family with this guy be a little more on solid ground meaning living space and commitment(I'm not saying you have to marry him) just that you have lived together...have the same wants when it comes to life and family .That you will be first and so will a child over his other family members.
GL
2007-01-15 01:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by UmaCat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probably not move in with him or get an apartment together unless you were married. That way I would know that he was more serious about it. You are already confused about him changing his mind and even though it isn't his families choice or business, they do not like you spending the night there even though you are two adults. Getting married would make it more "legal". Have you discussed marriage? I wouldn't have a baby with him with him just being a boyfriend. Just another perspective.
2007-01-15 01:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st off, you shouldn't plan on having a family with a bf. Ya'll should get married 1st. If you 2 were married, then the grandma couldn't say schit about you 2 spending the night together.
2007-01-15 01:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like someone is being a little selfish... If he is 24 and its his grandmother, that would make her really old. She won't be around forever so you should be glad he is spending some time with her befer she passes away... So forget about what you want for once and just either accept it or your not with the right guy.
2007-01-15 01:04:18 · answer #8 · answered by Joe W 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You realy need to get your self a place . staying together all in one place like that just makes problems between ither you and him or you and the fam. and nither one is good. now it may be a little crazy for him at first but he will git used to it if he realy likes you and wants to be with you.
2007-01-15 01:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by shymyron 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first u should sit down and talk to him and see what he really wants. Then u both nneed to plan this out toughter if u want the apartment and he dose to go by it if he donsent and wants you to live with him then thats your decision but i would say no because itz not fair to u.
2007-01-15 01:08:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋