Do you set your standards too high...?

Question

I am my own worst enemy and set almost unachievable standards for woman .......I am too picky and look for any flaw to use as an excuse to ....cross them off....

I know i do it but..... why do i do it.....? Who else has this problem....?

Answer 1

My standards are so high that NO ONE can meet them. No one. Ever. And that's how I like it.

Answer 2

Your right. It is a problem. For a start these "flaws" you see are exactly that. Only YOU see them or choose to make an issue of them. You must have a pretty high opinion of yourself and the saddest thing for you is that you will never be truly happy. Isn't that exactly what you are looking for? Happiness? Or merely a trophy wife/girlfriend? You are not allowing for people to change which they invariably do and more often than not for the better. By not giving your past girlfriends time you seem desperate to attain some kind of perfect relationship that is in your own minds eye. That will never happen if you continue to "cross off" everyone that comes your way. You've probably already vetoed some ideal partners. Also, in case you don't get my point, you would not be "lowering your standards" by any means. How could you be if you actually attract someone you will ultimately be happy and content with? You would only be developing yourself as a person. That can only be a good thing judging by your questions and answers. Or is this all a front Fox Hunter? Are you really a decent, humble, intelligent gent behind all these delusions of grandeur?

Answer 3

Throw out an example of something you think is you being too picky so we can get a better idea of what you mean.

There is no harm being picky but to think that you are going to find someone who is 100% right for you is wishful thinking. It happens in the movies, not that often in real life...a relationship is about give and take and understanding and living with someones flaws.

It's the flaws that make us unique.

Answer 4

One thing you should do is throw out the lists with all the characteristics you're looking for. Give yourself a chance to meet women and then once you do, let the 'relationship' develop on it's own without any preconceived notions of what it should be.

At the same time, don't just settle for someone because she's there. I've been fighting that for a long time myself. I've been single for almost 7 years and the temptation to just find anyone is hard to resist. But having been married and divorced, I know that it's more important to find someone that will make me happy instead of just someone to fill the space.

Answer 5

I dont set standards but I know that many people do and its just about being picky. Its ok, I dont know why you do it but just think about it this way. If you try to be friends with a woman first and found out that you like her for who she is and not all of that other petty stuff, you might be able to get over your standard setting delima. And you might find out that its all about who the person is inside and not who they are on the outside.

Answer 6

Your digging for Gold and find Coal.

What you are going through is that your an underachiever.

The best part of you is yet to bloom. You are in fear that because your standards about women in particular is a flow of misery in yourself.
You are the problem and not what your so picky about.

If you are faced with a drowning situation with a 300 lb Man screaming for help in the water...... will you jump in or will you watch and think about what you don't want to do???

If your answer to that is you jump in and save that person than your going to be alright.
If your answer to that is your scared and don't know what to do you failed.

That means you must find your faults and correct them to turn that failure to success.
When you do that you won't be picky about women. You will be understanding about yourself and whom ever you choose for a mate.

You wont jump in. I have answered it already for you and you know I am right.

The question here is what are you scared of??

Answer 7

i think that at times in my life I have set them to high i think that i did that cause i had a fear of commitment. Just like at other times in my life i have set time i little low just cause I wanted to date someone. I am know at a piont in my life where i am picky about certian traits and i can let some flaws go. I mean no one is perfect. Like my current boyfriend there are thing i love about him and little thing that well drive me crazy. But i the good out weighs the bad.
i think that you should drive not to dismiss a person based on minor flaws as he all have them. good luck to you

Answer 8

You will never be truly happy if you don't. Standards are something that is natural and within you. I have settled for second best before and not only is it unfair to yourself, its unfair to the other person. If one day, somebody meets those standards, then you know 100% its the right person, having high standards means you have a chance of being lonely, but better that than with the wrong person - however it also means you have the chance of being completely happy.

Answer 9

Hi again! Yeah, my ex bf has this problem. He now goes with a girl 20 yrs. younger. She's a prostitute, thief, she actually hit an 85 yr. old woman with her car, then got out and stole the poor woman's purse!! I'm not just a "jealous ex gf" talking, this really happened! But, it's o.k., cuz she's soooo cute! { he's tryin like hell to come back now, NO WAY, he loses!} Maybe you should date a few girls like this and you'll see how fast you get sick, tired and disgusted with a pretty face! Again, kudos for accepting your own flaws.

Answer 10

i appreciate Edward Cullen! Twilight is magnificent & Omg that's so genuine. criteria For Boyfriends Will bypass higher for each female Who Reads Twilight. Haha, Ahh If in trouble-free words He grow to be authentic. Lol.